Mere dost beeDiyon par utar aaye hain

mujhe laDkiyo.n ke dil se koee dilchaspii nahee.n, isiiliye to aaj tak zindaa hoo.n

2012-01-25T18:04:00.001+05:30

Film : Don
Year of release : 1978
Spoken by : Don (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Sonia (Kamini)
Dialogue writer : Salim Javed

This line comes in the scene just before the song "Yeh mera dil". The 2006 version dropped this line while retaining the earlier, 'romantic baate.n mujhe bahut bore kartee hai.n' line. So I thought I might bring up this line up. Ideal time. Valentine season!

Kamini (Sonia) responds to Don's 'romantic baate.n' jibe with this line -

"insaan ye jaan saktaa hai ki chaand aur sooraj me.n kyaa chhupaa hai, lekin ye kabhii naheen jaan saktaa, ki ek laDkii ke dil me.n kyaa chhupaa hai."

Don continues in his laconic way, with this line -

"mujhe laDkiyon ke dil se koee dilchaspii nahee.n, iseeliye to aaj tak zindaa hoo.n.... oh god getting late."

"मुझे लडकियों के दिल से कोई दिलचस्पी नहीं, इसीलिये तो आज तक ज़िन्दा हूं"

Boloongaa to maa.n maregii, nahee.n boloongaa to baap kuttaa khaaegaa

2011-12-05T12:22:00.001+05:30

Film : Sadhu aur Shaitan

Year of release : 1968

Spoken by : Bajrangi (Mehmood)

Spoken to : Inspector (Anwar Hussain)

Dialogue writer : Rajinder Krishan

This film is among the countless Nagesh remakes that Mahmood starred in. If you ever get the chance, see the original with subtitles. Nagesh was at least 23 times better than Mahmood. Great actor. This particular film was a remake of the 1966 Tamil hit Saadhu MiranDaal. They repeated the panchratna naaTak manDali of Padosan fame in this film too. Both came out around the same time, but PaDosan (which was also a remake of a Bengali/Tamil film) became more popular.

The police is inquiring from all taxi drivers about having ferried a passenger of a certain description. Bajrangi, who is a taxi driver, has ferried the passenger that the police is looking for. However, that passenger had threatened to slit his throat if he squealed to the police. Now when the police inspector (Anwar Hussain) threatens to beat him black and blue, if he does not reveal the details, he cries out in anguish -

"yeh to achchhee baat huee saab, boloongaa to maa.n maregii; nahee.n boloongaa to baap kuttaa khaaegaa"

The inspector shrieks in anger

"kiskaa baap kuttaa khaayegaa?"

Bajrangi explains with this story. A boy watches his mother prepare dog's meat for his father. At dinner time when the meat is served on the table, the son is at sixes and sevens. Damned if he says it, damned if he doesn't. If he reveals the secret, his father will kill his mother in anger, if he does not his father will end up eating dog meat. That very dilemma is conveyed in this dialogue

"boloongaa to maa.n maregii; nahee.n boloongaa to baap kuttaa khaaegaa"

Interesting to note that dog meat is considered a delicacy in some parts of India (like Nagaland) and many other countries (like China and Korea), but it is prohibited in Islamic and Jewish dietary laws. So generally in India eating dog meat is considered offensive. But to those people who consider it a delicacy, this dialogue will be meaningless. It will also be offensive to vegetarians.

But the story is still interesting, so I have put this line up.

aur main koee vaalmiki to naheeN jo Daake chhoDe haiN to ramayan likh dii

2011-10-12T10:41:00.002+05:30

Film : Haath ki Safaai

Year of release : 1974

Spoken by : Shankar (Vinod Khanna)

Spoken to : Kamini (Hema Malini)

Dialogue writer : Salim Javed

It was Vaalmiki Jayanti yesterday. You would have faced a lot of traffic jams if you were in Delhi yesterday. Reminded me of this Salim Javed line that I have been planning to post for a while. Vaalmiki was of course famous for having written the epic Ramayan. But the other famous fact about him was that he was a highwayman who used to rob and kill travellers. He later (after a chance encounter with Narada) reforms and gives up robbery and takes to writing. When I see the kind of advances paid to ordinary writers these days, I can understand the thought behind this career switch. :)

The film is called Haath Ki Safaai and Shankar plays a crook in the film. Kamini is running away from Shankar when she realises that he is a crook and while trying to hide from his men and him, she goes and seeks refuge in his house without realising it. Shankar's wife Roma (Simi Garewal) sees a woman in distress and agrees to give her refuge. But very soon Kamini sees a large framed photo of Shankar in the hall and without realising that she could have walked into the wrongest house possible, she blurts out to Roma that the man in the photo is a goon. Roma refuses to believe and asks her to leave the house. As Kamini leaves the house, she is chased by Shankar and just as Shankar is about to get to Kamini, Roma (who must have been quietly following them) steps in and confronts Shankar. However, the strain of the situation is too much for Roma and she faints. Kamini helps Shankar to tend to Roma, till she has stabilised.

Later when Shankar sees that Kamini is still in the house, he apologises to her. He says,

"kaamini, maine jo tumhaare saath ab tak sulooq kiyaa hai tum... Khair, maafii maangnee to bahut aasaan hai, aur mai.n koii vaalmiiki to nahee.n, jo Daake chhoDe hai.n to raamaayaN likh dee. Romaa ne tumhe.n is ghar me.n panaah dii hai, jab tak tum chaaho, yahaa.n rah saktee ho. "

"कामिनी, मैंने जो तुम्हारे साथ अब तक सुलूक़ किया है, तुम...ख़ैर, माफ़ी मांगनी तो बहुत आसान है, और मैं कोई वाल्मीकि तो नहीं, जो डाके छोडे हैं तो रामायण लिख दी. रोमा ने तुम्हें इस घर में पनाह दी है, जब तक तुम चाहो, यहां रह सकती हो."

Now this situation is not all that great. But I quite like the line. The point being made is that it is not so easy for everyone to walk on the path of reform. Society might not be so kind to you. It might not give you another chance easily. Imagine a typical HR executive interviewing Valmiki.

"Well I see from your CV, that you have been a highwayman. And now you want to be a writer. How do you explain that?"

And the interview would have ended with the inevitable "We will get back to you". :)

If HR guys had been around then, we might not have had any RaamayaN.

aur meri bhee tabeeyat kucchh Theek naheen rahtii

2011-09-30T07:02:00.000+05:30

Film : Mere Apne

Year of release : 1971

Spoken by : Biloki Prasad (Asit Sen)

Spoken to : Audience at political meeting

Dialogue writer : Gulzar

It is election time and the two rival candidates are Biloki Prasad and Anokhe Lal (Mehmood). The former is assisted by Shyam (Vinod Khanna) and the latter by Chhainoo (Shatrughan Sinha). Asit Sen, who is normally parodied by most mimicry artistes for his peculiar style of dialogue delivery and his girth, is also a very good actor with excellent comic timing. See this film (or rather this scene), for evidence of that. So in this political meeting, our great politician starts speaking. And what does he say,

"bhaiyo aur behno desh ke bahut bure din aa gaye hain"

"भाईओ और बहनो, देश के बहुत बुरे दिन आ गए हैं"

"aaj hamaare beech panDit jee naheen hain ...neta ji naheen hain...gandhiji naheen hain..."

"आज हमारे बीच पंडित जी नहीं हैं...नेता जी नहीं हैं...गान्धी जी नहीं हैं..."

Then he takes a pause for effect and delivers the punch line.

"aur meri bhee tabeeyat kucchh Theek naheen rahtii"

"और मेरी भी तबीयत कुछ ठीक नहीं रहती"

Asit Sen's delivery of this line has made this line walk into this blog. Otherwise I generally avoid joke punchlines.

This is also a famous technique used in sales - called equation by association. If one goes to buy a TV, the shopkeeper will say something like...

Sir this is Sony TV. Costs 20k. This is Panasonic. Costs 19.5k. And this is Pappu TV. This costs 16k.

wanted honaa unwanted hone se hameshaa achchhaa hotaa hai

2011-09-14T09:17:00.000+05:30

Film : Kala Dhandha Goray Log

Year of release : 1986

Spoken by : Raja (Sanjay Khan)

Spoken to : Durgadas Jethia (Anupam Kher)

Dialogue writer : Dr. Rahi Masoom Raza

This was Sanjay Khan's last film as an actor, before he decided to move to television and spas. Of course, I keep mentioning this fact, his real name is Abbas Khan and the screen name he was given was Sanjay (not Sanjay Khan). It was only in these later films that the screen titles started calling him Sanjay Khan.

Durgadas is a mafia don. He is meeting Raja for the first time. When he meets Raja, he says,

"tumse milne ka baDaa shauq thaa. dekhanaa chaahataa thaa wo aadmii kaisaa hai jiskaa naam police aur customs dono.n kee wanted list me.n sabase oopar hai"

And since this is Sanjay Khan's introduction shot in the film and he also happens to be the producer, he gave himself a great line.

"wanted honaa, unwanted hone se hameshaa achchhaa hotaa hai durgaadas."

"वॉंटिड होना, अनवॉंटिड होने से हमेशा अच्छा होता है दुर्गादास"

muhabbat aur maut me.n yahii hotaa hai

2011-09-07T19:02:00.001+05:30

Film : Nagin

Year of release : 1976

Spoken by : Nagin in the form of Rajkumari (Mumtaz)

Spoken to : Raj (Feroz Khan)

Dialogue writer : Inder Raj Anand

This was advertised as Mumtaz's last film (even the credit titles say so). And she did disappear after this film before reappearing almost 2 decades later in Aandhiyaan. The ichchhaadhaarii naag and naagin (serpents who can assume any form at will) are blessed with the ability to capture the image of their partner's killer in their eyes and do not rest till they eliminate them. So Reena Roy captures the image of these poor hunks in her mind, and eliminates them one by one.

Her second last target is Raj. She assumes the form of a girl who could end up being Raj's wife. Although Raj is paranoid by now, having lost so many friends, the naagin still manages to trick him into believing that she is Rajkumari. She plants a poisonous kiss on Raj's lips. As his vision clouds, he tells her,

"tumhaaraa chehraa dhundhlaa dhundhlaa saa..."

She says

"tumhaarii aankho.n ke chiraaG zaraa dheeme paD gaye hai.n"

He has not yet realised, that he has been poisoned. He asks,

"kyo.n?"

She replies,

"muhabbat aur maut me.n yahii hotaa hai"

"मुहब्बत और मौत में यही होता है"

Death and love cloud the vision. Fantastic line.

Bhauchaal kee jab aamad aamad hotee hai, to sab se pehle kutto.n ke kaan khaDe hote hai.n

2011-08-22T15:29:00.004+05:30

Film : Raaj Tilak

Year of release : 1984

Spoken by : Samad Khan (Raj Kumar)

Spoken to : Bhavaani Singh (Ajit)

Dialogue writer : Inder Raj Anand

This is a typical Raj Kumar Kohli multi-starrer set in a kingdom and replete with typical intrigue and cloak and dagger stuff. Notable for the fact that his son Armaan Kohli makes an appearance as Saarika's younger brother. Funny I used the word notable.

Samad Khan is a loyal commander of the king, but Bhavaani Singh plots and tries to overthrow the king. When the coup fails, he puts the blame on Samad Khan and has him branded as a traitor. Years later, Samad Khan is in a position to get his own back. When he meets Bhavaani Singh, Bhavaani recognises the voice. He says

"tumhaaree aawaaz. tumhaaree soorat... samad... samad Khaan?"

"तुम्हारी आवाज़, तुम्हारी सूरत...समद...समद ख़ान?"

Samad responds with this line. I used to love this line as a kid. The beauty of this dialogue is the way Raj Kumar delivers it. He warns Bhavaani about his impending doom and brands him as a dog - because he has been able to identify the portents of his doom. Now read the line.

"achchhaa huaa jo toone mujhe pehchaan liyaa bhavaani. Bhauchaal kee jab aamad aamad hotee hai, to sab se pehle kutto.n ke kaan khaDe hote hai.n"

"अच्छा हुआ जो तूने मुझे पहचान लिया भवानी. भौचाल की जब आमद आमद होती है, तो सबसे पहले कुत्तों के कान खडे होते हैं."

भौंचाल or भौचाल is an acceptable alternative for the normally used word for earthquake - भूचाल. But this is the only place where I have heard it used thus.

doosre ko nahee.n uDne doongii

2011-08-17T07:28:00.000+05:30

Film : Garm Havaa

Year of release : 1974

Spoken by : Amina (Gita later Gita Kak)

Spoken to : Shamshaad (Jalal Agha)

Dialogue writer : Kaifi Azmi

This was a brilliant film based on Ismat Chughtaii's short story. It is the story of a Muslim family which runs a shoe-making business in Agra circa 1948. Gradually all the relatives of Salim Mirza (Balraj Sahni) leave for Pakistan fearing discrimination in India. There are some very poignant scenes. During a family discussion where everyone is discussing a future in Pakistan; the youngest kid - 5 year old Munna asks a fantastic question

"abbaji pakistan me.n patang uDtee hai?"

For him all the other politico-religious questions were meaningless. Anyway, there were many such moments in this film. If you haven't seen it, do see it.

Salim Mirza's daughter Amina is engaged to be married to her cousin Kazim. However, Kazim too migrates to Pakistan. He does come back to take her away, but by then he is 'persona non grata' in India - because he is a Pakistani. He forgets to inform the local police station of his arrival and he is arrested and deported. He does not come back.

Shamshaad is another local boy who is interested in Amina. But she is not interested in him. However, during one trip to the historical places around Agra, Shamshaad acts as a guide. He tries to put forth his suit repeatedly before Amina. But she spurns him. At a particular historical location, he stops and tells Amina a story of the Mughal Kingdom. The story goes like this -

"jaantee ho ek din, usee jagah par jahaan tum khaDee ho, Mehrunnisaa khaDee thee.

aur yahaa.n. yahaa.n Saliim khaDaa thaa. uske dono.n haatho.n me.n kabootar the.

itne me.n jahaanpanaah ne Saliim ko yaad kiyaa. to Saliim ne dono.n kabootar uske haath me.n thamaa diye.

aur jab vo lauT ke aayaa...to usne dekhaa ki ek kabootar Gaayab thaa. to usne Mehrunnisa se poochhaa -

doosraa kabootar?

to Mehrunnisaa ne kahaa...vo to uD gayaa!

"जानती हो, एक दिन, उसी जगह पर जहां तुम खडी हो, मेहरुन्निसा खडी थी. और यहां, यहां सलीम खडा था. उसके दोनों हाथों में कबूतर थे. इतने में जहांपनाह ने सलीम को याद किया. तो सलीम ने दोनों कबूतर उसके हाथ में थमा दिये. और जब वो लौट कर आया...तो उसने देखा कि एक कबूतर ग़ायब था. तो उसने मेहरुन्निसा से पूछा - दूसरा कबूतर?

तो मेहरुन्निसा ने कहा...वो तो उड गया!

"Saliim ne poochhaa vo kaise? usne kahaa, aise..."

"सलीम ने पूछा वो कैसे? उसने कहा, ऐसे..."

And Shamshaad starts to make the gesture of releasing an imaginary pigeon. Right at that moment, Amina holds his hands and stops him from releasing the imaginary pigeon, and says,

"doosre ko nahee.n uDne doongee!"

"दूसरे को नहीं उडने दूंगी!"

Few Hindi films have such parables included in them.

iske maa baap tang aa chuke the

2011-08-14T11:14:00.000+05:30

Film : Disha

Year of release : 1990

Spoken by : Soma Sarpat (Raghuvir Yadav)

Spoken to : Visitor (unknown)

Dialogue writer : Sai Paranjpe

Karim Asif is considered a legend, though the only film he effectively made was Mughal-e-Aazam. Then why can't Sai Paranjpe be right on top of the list, just for Chashme Baddoor, Sparsh and Katha. Sometimes I don't understand the way our film critics work. Most people who talk about Mughal e Aazam haven't even seen the film (and don't understand half the dialogues), but yet it's a cult classic. Karim Asif is legendary. While it does help to have Dilip Kumar's kid sister as a wife, to be called legendary, but some categorisations are plain unfair. No, I have nothing against K Asif. I am a big fan myself (a look at this blog will tell you that). But Sai Paranjpe deserves more. I hope she gets it.

The reason I wrote the earlier paragraph was to establish that Sai Paranjpe is underrated. And Disha is an underrated Sai Paranjpe film.

A visitor comes to Soma's village. He comes to meet Soma. While he is waiting for him, he sees a few kids around. He asks them

"kyaa naam hai tum logo.n ke?"

The first one says 'Sharmila'. The second one says 'Jeetendra'. The third one says 'Amitabh' and the fourth and the youngest one says 'Kaddoo'. Yes you read that right. That's Hindi for pumpkin. A much loved and an equally hated vegetable.

Surprised at this anti-climactic name, the visitor asks the kid,

'Kaddoo kyo.n bhai?'

At that point Soma walks in and says by way of clarification,

'jab tak ye paidaa huaa, iske maa baap tang aa chuke the'

'जब तक ये पैदा हुआ, इसके मां बाप तंग आ चुके थे'

This film is worth seeing just for this line. I haven't laughed more during a scene in my life. If you read between the lines, it is an amazing advertisement for family planning, delivered in an absolutely non-threatening way. If I was the Minister for Health and Social Welfare, I would use this scene as an ad, and use the tagline,

'stop at Amitabh, before you land up with 'kaddoo''

As the ward boy in Munnabhai MBBS says - mai.n bhii soch rahaa hoo.n health minister ban jaaoo.n.

Baandra ka bhaav bolo baap landan kaa nahee.n

2011-07-30T09:02:00.002+05:30

Film : Jalwaa

Year of release : 1987

Spoken by : Inspector Kapil (in disguise)

Spoken to : Drug dealer

Dialogue writer : Kamalesh Pandey

There is a plethora of malls in and around Delhi now. In fact they are there all over India. Every luxury international brand is freely available in India now. However, most visitors end up not even window shopping at these shops (with the kind of names these shops have). The reason could be that they would have walked in to ask the price of an innocent looking hand bag with a name that sounds like सूई खींचों and would have been told that this 8x6 inch handbag costs 1.3 lac rupees. Their gut reaction would be what this character said 24 years ago. But these shops flourish because there are many in this country who don't mind paying that kind of money. But we'll let all that be.

Kapil is an inspector who has vowed to rid Goa of its drug culture. Ostensibly, he failed or else we might not have seen the film Dum Maaro Dum this year. This film was inspired from the Eddie Murphy flick The Beverly Hills Cop and saw the arthouse Naseer crossover to commercial cinema after pumping some serious iron.

Kapil goes to a drug dealer in disguise - as a handicapped old man. The dealer can't resist taking a shot at his age. He tells the dealer

"dekho saahab maskharii nahee.n. bhaav bolo bhaav bolo. "

The dealer says,

"ram kaa bees rupaye kvaarter. shyaam kaa das rupayaa."

Kapil acts surprised. And then comes up with this classic line, which you can use with the mall guys when they quote their rates.

"brown sugar kaa das rupaya! are bandra ka bhaav bolo baap landan kaa nahee.n"

"ब्राउन शुगर का दस रुपया! अरे बान्द्रा का भाव बोलो बाप लन्दन का नहीं"

If you are in Delhi, you can use Sadar Bazaar instead of Bandra.

The idea for this post is courtesy a friend who remembered this line, after he had to pay a reasonably heavy bill at a restaurant. I think he wanted to use this line with the waiter, but unfortunately he ended up leaving a tip on top of the billed amount. :)

Vaise bhii chor log chashmaa nahee.n pahantaa

2011-07-22T18:52:00.000+05:30

Film : Hera Pheri

Year of release : 2000

Spoken by : Baburao Ganpatrao Apte (Paresh Rawal)

Spoken to : Raju (Akshay Kumar)

Dialogue writer : Neeraj Vora

Shyam (Sunil Shetty) and Raju have an interesting misunderstanding whereby both think the other person is a thief, a pick pocket. Shyam realises later that Raju was not a thief, but Raju still believes Shyam to be a thief. After this misunderstanding, Shyam lands up at Baburao's house (where Raju is already a tenant) and takes a room on rent. The moment Raju sees Shyam, he shouts at him and tells Baburao that Shyam is a thief. Shyam says he is not a thief. Baburao anyway does not trust Raju too much as he has defaulted in payment of rent for over 6 months. So he decides to believe Shyam. But once he has handled Raju, he quietly asks Shyam.

ae, ek baat bataa. tu sachmuch chor nahee.n hai naa?

ए, एक बात बता, तू सचमुच चोर नहीं है ना?

nahee.n babu bhaiyya! (says Shyam)

नहीं बाबू भैय्या!

And then comes Baburao's slam dunk line.

haa.n vaise bhii chor log chashmaa nahee.n pahantaa.

हाँ, वैसे भी चोर लोग चशमा नहीं पहनता.

And then as evidence of this new found trust, he gives Shyam some money and asks him to get a 'khambaa' (bottle of country liquor) for him.

There are some home truths like this, that a lot of people believe in. That if you see a person wearing glasses, he has got to be respectable! Read another such interesting theory in this earlier post.

ek dum fresh approach rahegaa

2011-07-20T07:14:00.001+05:30

Film : Chashme Buddoor

Year of release : 1981

Spoken by : Jomo or J Lakhanpal (Ravi Baswani)

Spoken to : Neha Rajan (Deepti Naval)

Dialogue writer : Sai Paranjpe

One of my all time favourite films. The two philandering friends Jomo and Omi have noticed a new girl in their locality and they are going to take turns to try to woo her. Who will try first - this question is decided by a pack of cards. As Omi says - Jiskii mem uskee game, i.e. whosoever draws a queen first gets to try first. Omi gets that chance and messes it up. Now it is Jomo's turn. He goes to Neha's house as an asst. director and says he has seen her in a play held at Daulat Ram College. Neha smiles and says

"maine aaj tak stage par qadam nahee.n rakhaa"

To Jomo's credit he does not flinch a bit and come back with a great line. He says

"tab to aur bhee achchhe. ek dum fresh approach rahegaa"

"तब तो और भी अच्छे. एक दम फ़्रेश अप्रोच रहेगा"

So if you are a rank novice at something, you can present that as a virtue by using this line. Well if I was to be interviewed for the post of India's prime ministership, that'd be a good line to use :)

Jis insaan kaa maqsad sirf nuqsaan ho usse kisee kaa faayadaa nahee.n ho saktaa

2011-07-15T07:00:00.002+05:30

Film : Maqbool

Year of release : 2003

Spoken by : Jahangir Khan (Pankaj Kapoor)

Spoken to : Kaka (Piyush Mishra)

Dialogue writer : Vishal Bharadwaj

One of the most interesting relationships in Hindi cinema is the one between Jahangir Khan and Kaka. Jahangir is the mafia don. He gets an offer from a terrorist group for helping in a terrorist attack. The amount at stake is 30 crore rupees. He refuses the deal. Kaka is a bit surprised at his refusal. Jahangir explains it with this great line,

"Jis insaan kaa maqsad sirf nuqsaan ho usse kisee kaa faayadaa nahee.n ho saktaa"

"जिस इंसान का मक़सद सिर्फ़ नुक़्सान हो उससे किसी का फ़ायदा नहीं हो सकता"

aur kisee ko chaahiye promotion

2011-07-10T07:15:00.038+05:30

Film : Dabangg

Year of release : 2010

Spoken by : Chulbul Pandey (Salman Khan)

Spoken to : His team of policemen

Dialogue writer : Dilip Shukla and Abhinav Singh Kashyap

Chulbul Pandey has led his team in a raid to catch the daring daylight robbers of the Bank of Uttar Pradesh. When I say led, I mean he does it single handedly. His team arrives just in time to share the spoils. This is the interesting team meeting that happens post the capture of the robbers. The character of Constable Chaubey is played by Ram Sujan in the film.

Chaubey ji : namaste saahab. ham sab bandobast pe haazir hai.n. kahaa.n hai.n haraamzaade.

Chulbul : haraamzaade se yaad aayaa Chaubey ji, aapake aadaraNeeya pitaashree aajkal kaise hai.n

jii Theek hai.n sir

good. Dakait andar paDe hai.n. ghaayal hai.n bechaaro.n ko chhoD do.

Chaubey ji : chhoD de.n?! lekin hamko phir promotion kaise milegaa sir?

Chulbul : ham bataate hai.n naa Chaubey ji. report likhiye, ke police ne Dakaito.n ko gher liyaa thaa, golii baarii huee. cross firing ke andar hamaare ek naujawaan bahaadur sipaahii ko golii lag gayee.

Chaubey ji : golii lag gayii? lekin hamaare sab sipaahii surakshit hai.n sir.

Bang. Chaubey is shot in the right arm by Chulbul.

Chulbul : kisko golii lagii chaubeyji

Chaubey ji : hamko hamko sir.

Chulbul : aur kisii ko chaahiye promotion.

और किसी को चाहिये प्रोमोशन.

Another constable : nahee.n sir. nahee.n sir. aglee baar. aglee baar.

I was very tempted to put up this line as the main one. ' aglee baar. aglee baar'. But then I don't know who that character is. So I am taking the easy way out and crediting it to the more famous actor.

It is not the age, it is the mileage

2011-07-09T17:27:00.000+05:30

Film : Johnny Gaddar

Year of release : 2007

Spoken by : Seshaadri (Dharmendra)

Spoken to : Vikram (Neil Nitin Mukesh)

Dialogue writer : Sriram Raghavan

Sriram Raghavan in my view is the best director among the current lot. Of course this line is a take on the Indiana Jones lines from the 1981 film Raiders of the Lost Ark, where he says "It's not the years honey, it's the mileage". Dharmendra plays a Tam Brahm and thankfully not in the stereotypical Mehmood PaDosan way.

Vikram (or Johnny) asks him if he is not afraid of keeping so much cash at home (one crore rupees). In response Seshu twists Vikram's arm behind his back and pins him down. While doing this he says,

"koee chor uchakkaa aa jaaye to kyaa karoo.n"

By now, Vikram is pleading with a tame 'sorry sir'. Seshu releases him and says

"It is not the age, it is the mileage"

Well just another way of saying 'BuDDhaah hogaa teraa baap".

ek to in logo.n ne 'Devdas' ka remake banaa banaa ke bachcho.n ke dimaaG kaa satyaanaash kar diyaa hai

2011-07-05T08:15:00.002+05:30

Film : Break Ke Baad

Year of release : 2010

Spoken by : Pammi Gulati (Lillette Dubey)

Spoken to : Abhay Gulati (Imran Khan)

Dialogue writer : Renuka Kunzru

Please don't see this film just because this dialogue is being featured. I try to make the most of adverse situations. But this film was an extremely adverse situation. Anyway, this very complex film has the hero and heroine being great buddies, then breaking up, then realising that they were actually lovers. Brilliant. I should never have started this post. Let me get this over soon.

A heartbroken Abhay is speaking to his aunt Pammi. And he tells her that he cannot love ever again. Pammi is a more pragmatic woman, who urges him to move on with life. She is quite upset to hear this from Abhay and responds with this line.

"ek to in logo.n ne 'Devdas' ka remake banaa banaa ke bachcho.n ke dimaaG kaa satyaanaash kar diyaa hai"

"एक तो इन लोगों ने देवदास का रीमेक बना बना के बच्चों के दिमाग़ का सत्यानाश कर दिया है.

Yeah I too have wondered why has this story been remade so many times. You can see on the right hand side, even on this blog, for the last many months, the most popular dialogue has been the one from Devdas.

Bbuddah hoga terra baap - Amitabh Bachchan's dialogue error

2011-07-04T06:34:00.000+05:30

The just released Amitabh Bachchan film pays a tribute to a lot of his famous dialogues. But I was surprised and hurt that a perfectionist like Amitabh flicked a Bob Christo dialogue as his own. Incidentally Bob Christo had passed away earlier this year on 20th March.

You can read this dialogue on one of my earlier posts here.

You can watch the entire scene here, starting at time code 07:33. Ram Sethi protests Bob Christo's forcible entry into the line. Bob Christo mouths this line. Amitabh just copies the line at 08: 34

हम भी वो हैं जो कभी किसी के पीछे नही खड़े होते. जहा खड़े हो जाते है लाइन वहीं से शुरु हो जाती है.

Time we started giving credit to the guy who actually said it and the guy who wrote it, i.e. Bob Christo and Inder Raj Anand, respectively.

yeh hindustaan me.n kyaa kar rahaa hai

2011-06-29T07:38:00.001+05:30

Film : Hero Hiralal

Year of release : 1988

Spoken by : Bhagwan (Satish Shah)

Spoken to : Aziz (Saeed Jaffrey) and Rangila (Mohan Gokhale)

Dialogue writer : Hriday Lani

Hero's friends Aziz, Rangila and Bhagwan go to the bungalow where Sitara Devi (Deepa Sahi) has kept hero (Naseer) for some silly death defying stunt (rather a lethal stunt). As they make their way in, Dukhilal the watchman (Deepak Kejriwal) is in the process of frog marching a hapless reporter to the exit gate.

Aziz carefully approaches Dukhilal, who has guessed the reason for their visit. He refuses to allow them to meet Hero. Rangila aggressively says that Hero is their friend and they have a right to meet him. Dukhilal is not moved. Now that request and aggression and name dropping hasn't worked, Bhagwan suggests that it's time for good old bribery. He moves the other two aside, and walks up to Dukhilal. He says,

"bhaiyyaa jee baat aisee hai ki, aajkal zamaanaa kitnaa Kharaab hai eh, aur phir mehengaai bhee kitnee baDh gaee hai. phir uspe chaai paanee kaa kharchaa nahee mile to gussaa to aave hai naa..."

he slips in some money into Dukhilal's hands and says

'to ye lo aur ThanDe ho jaao, samjhe' and then he turns to his two friends and triumphantly winks at them. Exactly at that moment, Dukhilal lets loose what is called 'ulTe haath kaa' and says

'yeh ghoos hee is desh kee satyaanaashee jaD hai, dukhilaal ko ghoos dete ho bhaee, hai.n? ye ghoos leke yahaa.n se nikal jaao varnaa ek hee ghoose me.n ye ghoos me.n hee ghus jaayegee..

bhagwan comes up with a classic

waah mere maalik, yeh hindustaan me.n kyaa kar rahaa hai.

वाह मेरे मालिक, ये हिन्दुस्तान में क्या कर रहा है

Well 23 years later, not much has changed, I still hear this line when someone talks of probity and honesty.

chowkidaar kabhee aurat dekhe hai.n

2011-06-22T20:52:00.001+05:30

Film : Hip Hip Hurray

Year of release : 1984

Spoken by : Sandeep Chaudhary (Raj Kiran)

Spoken to : Anuradha Roy (Deepti Naval)

Dialogue writer : Gulzar

There were recent articles about Raj Kiran surfacing in some mental asylum somewhere and that reminded me of this film and then of this line. This film ranks among my all time favourite youth/sports films. Sandeep and Anuradha are both teachers in a school in Ranchi. Sandeep is the sports teacher and Anuradha the history teacher. They bond with each other. Once when they are out for a cup of coffee, Sandeep pays the bill. Anuradha protests saying that women are equal to men in all aspects and they can do everything that men can. Sandeep accepts the fact that women are equally capable, but also comes up with a quip which made me think three decades ago. It still makes me think. He says

'chowkidaar kabhee aurat dekhe hai.n'

'चौकीदार कभी औरत देखे हैं'

Interestingly I have seen women police personnel, army personnel, pilots, doctors even auto drivers and bus conductors. But never a chowkidaar. If you have do let me know.

baDhee huee tulsii dikhtee hai. bahen nahee.n dikhtii

2011-06-17T20:50:00.000+05:30

Film : City of Gold - Mumbai 1982 : Ek Ankahee Kahaani

Year of release : 2010

Spoken by : Manju Dhuri (Veena Jamkar)

Spoken to : Mohan Dhuri (Vineet Kumar)

Dialogue writer : Abhijit Deshpande

A story of the mill workers who suffered while Mumbai prospered. One of the suffering families has the twenty-something girl Manju giving into the wiles of the neighbourhood baniya's son. Everyday in the morning she goes out into the balcony, and on the pretext of watering the tulsi (basil) plant, also feeds her romance with the baniya's son in the store across the street. In return she gets a waiver on the family's food bill and a gold chain too. When her mother Lakshmi (Seema Biswas) notices this chain, she asks Manju about its provenance. Manju says that it is artificial jewellery. Her cricket crazy elder brother Mohan comments (after Lakshmi has left)

'naqlii nahee.n lagtee ye chain'

Manju says

'aslee laane ke liye paise kahaa.n se laaoo.n'

Mohan quips (with a none-too veiled reference to her daily morning dalliance)

'baahar kee tulsii apne aap nahee.n baDh rahee hai'

Hindi films do not give too many great lines to women characters. This will rank among them even after ten years. Make that 20 (India is not going to change in a hurry)

Manju says

"baDhee huee tulsee dikhtee hai. bahen nahee.n dikhtee. besharam'

"बढी हुई तुलसी दिखती है. बहन नहीं दिखती. बेशरम."

in an obvious reference to the elder brother having failed in his duty of marrying off his sister and hence having lost the right to make such wisecracks.

lekin woh qissaa phir kabhii

2011-05-20T08:29:00.010+05:30

Film : Manoranjan

Year of release : 1974

Spoken by : Dhoop Chhaon (Shammi Kapoor)

Spoken to : Train Passenger (MacMohan)

Dialogue writer : Abrar Alvi

Shammi Kapoor's directorial debut was a bold Indian version of Billy Wilder's 1963 classic Irma la Douce. Even this line is Abrar Alvi's Indianisation of Moustache's (Lou Jacobi) line - "But that's another story"

Dhoop Chhaon is a bartender who is travelling by train. He invites his co passengers Macmohan and a Parsi gentleman (on honemoon) to join him for a drink. And then starts talking about a street in Bombay called Manoranjan Street. After he has them hooked with the build up about the place, he very cleverly withdraws by saying

"lekin woh qissaa phir kabhee"

"लेकिन वो क़िस्सा फिर कभी"

Macmohan protests out loud with

"phir kabhii kyon saahab abhi sunaaiye, kyaa baat hai"

The Parsi gentleman also joins in and demands that the story be told. That's how the film starts.

This line is repeated often in the film. When Ratan (Sanjeev Kumar) gets the idea of becoming his own double to get Nisha (Zeenat Aman) rid of her profession, Dhoop Chhaon says he too had done this earlier, when he had taken the agency of Bhimsaini oil and had picked up his own stock from the market in order to create demand. Just as he is about to launch into the full version, Ratan interrupts

'woh qissaa phir kabhee"
"वो क़िस्सा फिर कभी"

In another instance, Thingoo (Paintal) comes and asks Dhoop Chhaon why he is shooting darts so late. Dhoop Chhaon says that because it is Independence Day. A surprised Tingoo says it is 4th September not 15th August. Dhoopu says that was the day his dad died. And quickly adds

'lekin woh qissaa phir kabhee'

In another instance he tells Ratans he had once robbed a bank in Patna, a bank which belonged to his dad. And quickly adds

'lekin woh qissaa phir kabhee'

In another instance when Nisha protests that Dhoopu can't get her married to Nawab because he is not a real priest, he says that he has conducted many marriages ranging from king's marriages to their dog's marriages. He quickly adds

'lekin woh qissaa phir kabhee'

National dress kaa mazaaq nahee.n uDaaoge to broad-minded kaise kahe jaaoge

2011-05-17T07:59:00.001+05:30

Film : Golmaal
Year of release : 1979
Spoken by : Bhawani Shankar (Utpal Dutt)
Spoken to : RC - Guest at party (Unknown)
Dialogue writer : Dr. Rahi Maasoom Raza

This is the scene where Bhawani Shankar sees Ramprasad's fake mother at a party in stark contrast to her simple white sari avatar that he had seen. This makes him smell a rat and leads to many interesting situations. He is sitting sipping his drink with a couple of his friends and lamenting (as usual) the state of affairs. He is wearing a bandgalaa suit while his friends are wearing the typical English suits. Here is that exchange.

"aaj kal party hotii kahaa.n hai. party ke naam par fashion parade hotii hai.. fancy dress show hotaa hai."

"tum kisme.n aaye ho, fashion parade me.n, yaa fancy dress show me.n ?"

"haa.n haa.n national dress kaa mazaaq nahee.n uDaaoge to broad-minded kaise kahe jaaoge. "
"हाँ हाँ, नॅशनल ड्रेस का मज़ाक़ नहीं उडाओगे तो ब्रॉड माइंडिड कैसे कहे जाओगे."

RC jhenp jaao bhai, bhawaani ne jawaab to munh toD diyaa hai.

bandook bhii dikhaataa hai aur peechhe bhii haTtaa hai

2011-05-15T07:57:00.001+05:30

Film : Agnipath

Year of release : 1990

Spoken by : Vijay Deenanath Chauhan (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Kaancha Cheena (Danny Denzongpa)

Dialogue writer : Kader Khan

One of my pet peeves about this film is that everyone calls it Agneepath. While the Johars might have numerological reasons to do so, the people who speak the language have no such reasons. It is, and shall remain for all times to come - AGNIPATH. Now that I have ranted, we get back to this line.

This is a film that got Mr Bachchan his first National Award, though it seemed like the kind of film which justified taking back all rewards given until then. I liked Danny much more than Amitabh and the lesser said about Krishnan Iyer yum yay the better. Roles where accents are required should generally be given to people who either have a neutral accent or the required accent. Mithun has not been able to speak Hindi properly all his life, and he dares to attempt a Tamil accent. Oh the miseries heaped upon us by M/s Johar and Anand. Since both of them are dead, I shall say nothing further.

But I have met a lot of people who adore this film. This film has been part of growing up for many of my friends (like Shiva for me). And I cannot ignore such overwhelming feedback.

Hence I have seen this movie three more times to see what they see in it. I have now put it down to their oculists. But I cannot deny that there are some interesting and stylised lines in this film.

Towards the end, Vijay lures Kaanchaa to his old village and once he has set his trap, he reveals to Kaancha that he is actually the son of Master Deenanath (the man who was brutally lynched to death by Kaancha's henchmen), A cornered Kaancha takes out his revolver and simultaneously, almost instinctively, backs up a few steps. He says

"tumko bhii pataa nahee.n chalegaa, ki kitnee jaldee tum maasTar dinaanaath ke raaste pe chal paDe ho. "

"ei...kaanchaa...saalaa bandook bhii dikhaataa hai aur peechhe bhii haTtaa hai. hai.n. peechhe nahee.n haTne kaa kaanchaa. "

"एई...कांचा...साला बन्दूक भी दिखाता है और पीछे भी हटता है. हैं. पीछे नहीं हटने का कांचा."

Having observed a lot of street fights, I do know one thing. Having a weapon does not always give you the confidence to attack. The confidence to attack or the killer instinct comes naturally. There is a great Damini dialogue about that. I will feature that later.

ek zamaane me.n ye kaam naaii kiyaa karte the

2011-05-14T20:37:00.001+05:30

Film : Anand

Year of release : 1971

Spoken by : Anand (Rajesh Khanna)

Spoken to : Renu's mother (Durga Khote)

Dialogue writer : Gulzar

Anand Sehgal is a friend who comes into Dr Bhaskar's life and tries to turn his staid life around. He finds out from Raghu Kaka (the family retainer) that there was a girl Renu, who was interested in his Babumoshaai (Dr Bhaskar). But since Bhaskar was too reticent, they had never progressed. He decides to take matters into his own hands and first extracts a confession from Bhaskar about the girl he likes. Then he engineers their meeting and declaration of love for each other. After ensuring that the fire has been suitably stoked from both sides, he directly reaches Renu's house. He meets Renu's mother and without beating about the bush, comes out with his proposal for marriage.

"maa.n jee mujhe aapse bahut zaroori kaam hai."

"kyaa kaam hai?"

"ek zamaane me.n ye kaam naaee kiyaa karte the maa.n jee. aajkal bhaaii karte hai.n

एक ज़माने में ये काम नाई किया करते थे माँ जी, आजकल भाई करते हैं."

"mai.n samjhee nahee.n "

"mai.n renu jee ke liye rishtaa lekar aayaa hoo.n, haa.n."

"mai.n unhe.n apnee bhaabhii banaanaa chaahtaa hoo.n "

Jo pachchees baras me.n nahee.n huaa woh ab hogaa

2011-05-14T08:59:00.000+05:30

Film : Deewar

Year of release : 1975

Spoken by : Vijay Verma (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Rahim Chacha (Yunus Parvez)

Dialogue writer : Salim-Javed

The coolies of the dockyard are sitting and sipping tea in the canteen. Rahim is very concerned about Vijay's act of defiance in refusing to pay protection money (hafta). He says

yahaa.n Gareeb ko sau baate.n soch ke chalnaa paDtaa hai. aur phir ye log to mawaalii Thahare, inke munh kaun lage

यहाँ ग़रीब को सौ बातें सोच के चलना पडता है, और फिर ये लोग तो मवाली ठहरे, इनके मुंह कौन लगे.

Another coolie eggs him on with this line,

Theek kehte ho raheem chacha bilkul Theek kehte ho

ठीक केहते हो रहीम चाचा बिलकुल ठीक कहते हो.

Suitably encouraged, Raheem continues his litany.

pachchees baras ho gaye hame.n yahaa.n kaam karte. hamane nahee.n dekhaa koee kulee unhe.n haftaa dene se inkaar kar de

पच्चीस बरस हो गये हमें यहाँ काम करते. हमने नहीं देखा कोई कुली उन्हें हफ़्ता देने से इनकार कर दे.

And the laconic Vijay pauses for a while and then says sententiously,

raheem chaacha jo pachchees baras me.n nahee.n huaa woh ab hogaa. agale hafte ek aur kuli in mawaaliyo.n ko paisaa dene se inkaar karne vaalaa hai.

रहीम चाचा, जो पच्चीस बरस में नहीं हुआ वो अब होगा. अगले हफ़्ते एक और कुली इन मवालियों को पैसा देने से इनकार करने वाला है.

This is the line which later gives rise to the "Peter ab ye taalaa mai.n terii jeb se chaabee nikaal ke..." line. But that line will come in some other post.

So when India wins the cricket World Cup after 28 years, the Left front loses Bengal after 34 years, and there is history being made all around. This is a great line to use.

Remember the Emirates line - when was the last time you did something for the first time. So whenever you do that, use this line.

moorakh mukhiyaa bhool kare aur bhugte saaraa gaao.n

2011-05-10T16:10:00.002+05:30

Film : Mausam

Year of release : 1975

Spoken by : Harihar Thapa (Om Shivpuri)

Spoken to : Dr Amarnath Gill (Sanjeev Kumar)

Dialogue writer : Gulzar

Well I thought I must get this one in before Shahid Kapoor's Mausam releases :)

Though I am not partial to the 70s, I do feel that the quality of writers in that phase, will never be replicated. Rajinder Singh Bedi, Rahi Masoom Raza, Sachin Bhowmick, Salim Javed, Gulzar - all contemporaries! That is why neither the 50s nor the 60s nor the 80s and later appear as much as the 70s do on this blog. But on second thoughts probably I am biased :)

Mausam was a film based on AJ Cronin's 1961 story The Judas Tree. Kamleshwar is credited with the story, but then he did make substantial changes. Indian audiences would not have accepted Kajri getting married to Dr Gill.

Amarnath is a medical student, who has come to Darjeeling to study. During one of his excursions, he slips over some stairs and falls. He manages to drag himselves to the nearest 'vaid' - Harihar Thapa. When Harihar hears how he slipped over the stairs, he comes up with this quip. The line is a reference to Amarnath's eyes (the mukhiya) whose fault leads to the entire body (saaraa gaao.n) suffering.

"moorakh mukhiyaa bhool kare aur bhugte saaraa gaao.n"

"मूरख मुखिया भूल करे और भुगते सारा गांव"

I am a dropout by choice sir.

2011-05-06T15:34:00.003+05:30

Film : A Wednesday

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Anuj Sharma (Parth)

Spoken to : Prakash RaThoD (Anupam Kher)

Dialogue writer : Neeraj Pandey

This film will become of one of the enduring classics of Hindi cinema. Neeraj Pandey is one director whose second films is being awaited by more people than he himself is aware of.

This line also shows how characters are changing in cinema. Prakash comes in to the situation room, where he finds a young boy standing casually. The boy is the hacker who assists the police on cyber crime cases. He is dressed in jeans, t-shirt and a baseball cap. Now savour this interaction;

Prakash comes in and asks his junior

"yeh bachchaa kaun hai"

"sir iskaa naam Anuj hai. hacker hai sir, cyber crime cases crack karne me.n aksar hamaaree madad kartaa hai."

"itnaa qualified hai ye?"

"sir vaise to college dropout hai lekin....Anuj"

"ye, equipment aur ye setup samajh me.n aa rahaa hai tumhaaree?"

"no sir. ye saare equipments outdated hai.n.aap log abhii bhii n series ke 3423 models use kar rahe hai.n, jab ki s series ko launch huye teen maheene se zyaadaa ho chukaa hai, I need some time. thoDaa vaqt to lagegaa."

"ye hogaa tumse"

At this point, Anuj's phone rings. He pauses to pick it up.

"hey babes! yeah. running late honey. will catch you in half an hour. ok. love you. see you."

And then he sighs and says "women" like some seasoned 40 year old would have. Now back to the conversation.

"sorry aap kuchh keh rahe the"

"ye hogaa tumse?"

"definitely. I am a dropout by choice sir."

In the link you can see this at 07:11 timecode.

ahl-e-zabaan is cheez ko to.nd hee kehte hai.n

2011-05-05T15:33:00.001+05:30

Film : Naram Garam

Year of release : 1981

Spoken by : Seth Salaamat Hussain Khaan (T P Jain)

Spoken to : Bhawani Shankar Bajpai (Utpal Dutt)

Dialogue writer : Dr. Rahi Masoom Raza

The one scene that I will never forget in this film is the 'kusi beTii eee' scene of Utpal and Swaroop. But for the moment, I will let that be. The line on hand refers to a lesser known actor called TP Jain. If you have seen Angoor you will remember him as the jeweller who insists that he be paid since it is eleven o clock. But if you don't remember that, you might as well see this film.

Naram Garam tried to recreate the Golmaal magic - Hrishida might actually have called it Golmaal Returns :) - but it did not work that well. But it was an enjoyable film nonetheless.

In the film Utpal Dutt is a widower who suddenly develops the desire to get married (thanks to some astrological beliefs and incitement), but since the girl who he is marrying (Swaroop Sampat partly dubbed by Farida Jalal) is almost 40 years younger, he tries to keep everything hush hush. So the tailor who comes to take the measurement for the sherwani (played by TP Jain) is asked to lock the door behind him. The tailor is suddenly very suspicious (his look is a classic), but being a professional he stands his ground. While taking the measurements, the inevitable waist measurement happens. Salaamat writes down the measurement as 'tond' - a reference to the generous paunch. Bhawani protests, to which Salaamat retorts

'ab is cheez ko kamar keh kar allah paak kee tauheen to nahee.n kar saktaa naa huzoor. ahl-e-zabaan is cheez ko to.nd hee kehte hai.n"

"अब इस चीज़ को कमर कह कर अल्लाह पाक की तौहीन तो नहीं कर सकता ना हुज़ूर. अहल-ए-ज़बान इस चीज़ को तोंद ही कहते हैं"

tareeqaa chhoDo saahab, baat Galat thaa

2011-02-03T12:18:00.002+05:30

Film : Bobby

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Jack Braganza (Prem Nath)

Spoken to : Mr. Nath (Pran)

Dialogue writer : Jainendra Jain

The famous showdown between Pran and Premnath in the latter's brother-in-law's film made to launch his second son. Now can someone tell me why the Christian characters in Hindi films revealed their Christian names while with the Hindus you had to make do with the surnames. So Pran is Mr. Nath and Premnath is Jack Braganza. Wonder if in first standard his teacher called him Mr. Nath! Picture this...

Pappoo - Present teacher, Munni - Present teacher, Ravi - Present teacher, Mr. Nath - Present teacher. Khair chhoDo, yeh qissa phir kabhee...

(Mr.) Nath has spoken in an insulting tone in an earlier meeting with Jack Braganza. Jack had gone to the Naths residence to discuss the alliance with his daughter. Nath had insinuated that Braganza had used his daughter to ensnare a rich heir like his son. Now Nath, under pressure from his son, goes back to Braganza's house in a conciliatory mood. He says,

"shaayad mere baat karne kaa tareeqaa Galat thaa"

"शायद मेरे बात करने का तरीक़ा ग़लत था'

Braganza however is in no mood for reconciliation. Still angry, he says

"tareeqaa chhoDo saahab, baat Galat thaa"

"तरीक़ा छोडो साहब, बात ग़लत था"

Kindly excuse grammar. Hindi film writers as you know loved stereotypes. So Madrasi will speak thus and Christian will speak thus. All this is predecided. So all the Hindi teachers of the world could not have made Jack Braganza say 'baat Galat thii'. Because the troika of Raj Kapoor, KA Abbas and Jainendra Jain had already decided that.

kisme.n itnee himmat hai, ki har raat bechain rahe

2011-01-30T11:50:00.001+05:30

Film : Bazaar

Year of release : 1982

Spoken by : Salim (Naseeruddin Shah)

Spoken to : Najma (Smita Patil)

Dialogue writer : Sagar Sarhadi

I featured this situation earlier in this post. So you might want to read that too. But this one can stand on its own too.

Salim is a poet and he has desired Najma for long. After six years as a silent platonic lover, he applies to the object of his affection for upgradation to version 2.0. Since he is a poet and hence given to hyperbole, he tells Najma that he hasn't slept throughout the six years as he has silently smouldered carrying her love in his heart. A couple of days later, Najma calls Salim at his workshop and asks him

"raat to achchhee kaTee naa?" (referring to his sleepless six years lament)

"रात तो अच्छी कटी ना? "

and Salim comes up with another gem

"kisme.n itnee himmat hai, ki har raat bechain rahe"

"किसमें इतनी हिम्मत है, कि हर रात बेचैन रहे"

Jab aag jalegii sab haath taapne dauDenge

2011-01-24T11:48:00.001+05:30

Film : Junoon

Year of release : 1978

Spoken by : Sarfaraaz Khan (Naseeruddin Shah)

Spoken to : Hafeez Khan (Benjamin Gilani)

Dialogue writer : Prof Satyadev Dubey and Ismat Chugtai

The upcoming Vishal Bharadwaj film Saat Khoon Maaf reminded me of the earlier film that was based on a Ruskin Bond novel - Junoon (Flight of the Pigeons). Wonder why I did not feature it on the blog earlier?

The background of the film is the 1857 revolt and the events that happened in and around Delhi. Sarfaraaz was part of the battalion of which Mangal Pandey was a part. He is constantly ranting about the 'firangees' and their atrocities. He is also on a sort of recruitment drive for soldiers as he believes the British rule India was about to come to an end. Sarfaraaz tells Hafeez Khan (Benjamin Gilani) that they should also join the revolt, Hafeez is unsure and looks up to his cousin Javed Khan (Shashi Kapoor) for direction. But Javed is not present at that moment. Hafeez says,

"ham to aapke saath hai.n...agar Javed bhai...."

Sarfaraaz interrupts him and says,

"Hafeez, jab aag jalegii sab haath taapne dauDenge...Jaaved bhaai bhi..."

"हफ़ीज़, जब आग जलेगी, सब हाथ तापने दौड़ेंगे...जावेद भाई भी..."

referring to the inevitability of the revolt spreading throughout the country. So true. On the eve of the 62nd Republic Day, I think about all those who literally lit that fire, because as Sarfaraaz said, there is no shortage of people to bask in the warmth of a fire which is already lit. The ones who actually light the fire are rare...As my boss used to say,

"Many talk, few do"

So spare a thought for those who light such fires. And if you want to know what happens to them in the end (in case you haven't already guessed it) watch this movie. On second thoughts, do watch out for a fire that is lit. Much more simpler to run towards it...

aaj se tere bachche bhii raham ke qaabil ho jaayenge

2011-01-05T18:40:00.000+05:30

Film : Agar...If

Year of release : 1977

Spoken by : Daver (Kader Khan)

Spoken to : Jangoo (Unknown)

Dialogue writer : Moinuddin

This underrated thriller of the golden period of Hindi cinema is surely lifted from some English film. I just can't figure out which one. Of course they let it meander towards the end - in classic Hindi film style. But it is still better than some of the films that are touted as classics.

Jangoo is Daver's henchman and he has slipped up badly in allowing one of the men he was tailing to be caught by the police. Daver is wild that his elaborately laid plan is being torn asunder. Jangoo realises that his time is up, and does what henchmen under fire do best - beg.

"mujh pe raham karo, merii beewii, mere bachche....raham karo..."

"मुझ पे रहम करो, मेरी बीवी, मेरे बच्चे...रहम करो..."

Like in volleyball, the dialogue is nicely setup for Daver for a great smash. And he executes it well enough.

He says,

"main sirf yateem bachcho.n pe raham kartaa hoo.n...aur aaj se tere bachche bhee raham ke qaabil ho jaayenge"

"मैं सिर्फ़ यतीम बच्चों पे रहम करता हूं...और आज से तेरे बच्चे भी रहम के क़ाबिल हो जायेंगे"

Do I need to tell you what follows?

Unlike many other lines on this blog, it is unlikely that you would be able to use it anywhere. But I still wanted to feature this line.

jiskaa pataa nahii.n hotaa uskaa pataa nahii.n chaltaa

2010-12-31T18:02:00.000+05:30

Film : Oye Lucky Lucky Oye

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Lucky (Abhay Deol)

Spoken to : Gogi (Paresh Rawal)

Dialogue writer : Manu Rishi

This film was supposed to be based on the life of Bunty Chor (or Davinder Singh). The film was a big disappointment for those who had seen Dibakar's debut - Khosla ka Ghosla.

Lucky is on a stealing spree and picking up cars and all kinds of stuff for the local don - Gogi. Once when Bangali (Manu Rishi) and Lucky meet him after a successful heist, Gogi asks him where he lives. Bangali says

"car me.n.. aage drawing room, peechhe bedroom"

"कार में. आगे ड्राइंग रूम, पीछे बॅडरूम"

Gogi is very surprised when he hears this. Lucky responds with a pragmatic line

"jiskaa pataa nahii.n hotaa uskaa pataa nahii.n chaltaa"

"जिसका पता नहीं होता उसका पता नहीं चलता"

aisa to aadmii life me.n do-ich time bhaagtaa hai

2010-12-25T13:00:00.001+05:30

Film : Amar Akbar Anthony

Year of release : 1979

Spoken by : Anthony Gonsalves (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Robert (Jeevan)

Dialogue writer : Kader Khan

This was one of my favourite Amitabh Bachchan films when I was a kid. I saw Deewar, Sholay, Trishul and Zanjeer much later!

Kishan Lal (Pran) has become a mafia don and smuggler after usurping the business of Robert (Jeevan). Robert falls upon bad days and becomes a coolie on Kishan's dock. While unloading 'sona', the two meet each other and have kind of a show down. Suddenly the police lead by Kamal Kapoor (Narang of Don) arrive and everyone runs for their lives. Robert escapes with a case of gold and a revolver. Anthony trips Robert while running and stylishly delivers this line

See it here

"aisaa to aadmii life me.n do-ich time bhaagtaa hai, olympic ka race ho ya police ka case ho. tum kaay me.n bhagtaa hai bhaai?"

"ऐसा तो आदमी लाइफ़ में दोइच टाइम भागता है, ओलिम्पिक का रेस हो या पुलीस का केस हो, तुम काय में भगता है भाई?"

This line was a favourite as a kid, along with the famous mirror scene.

dosti ka ek usool hai maDam no sorry no thank you

2010-11-25T17:14:00.003+05:30

Film : Maine Pyaar Kiya

Year of release : 1989

Spoken by : Prem (Salman Khan)

Spoken to : Suman (Bhagyashree)
Dialogue writer : Sooraj R Barjatya

Extremely silly line, but I find a lot of people using it. This was Sooraj Barjatya's take on the tag line for the 1970 film Love Story - Love means never having to say you're sorry.

Prem meets Suman at his house for the first time and she helps him to get rid of Seema (Pervin Dastur) who is trying to seduce him. When Suman picks up Prem's cap (which has fallen down) and hands it to him, he gives it back to her as a gift. Saying that they are friends since their parents are friends and ...some silly logic he gives. She also buys that logic and says thanks.

Our hero jumps to the occasion and says

"dosti ka ek usool hai maDam no sorry no thank you"

"दोस्ती का एक उसूल है मैडम, नो सॉरी नो थॅंक यू"

kaunsaa cigarette laaoo.n aap ke liye

2010-11-20T16:54:00.001+05:30

Film : Dil Tera Diwana

Year of release : 1962

Spoken by : Diwan Badriprasad acting as Raamdeen driver (Ulhaas)

Spoken to : Mohan and Anokhe (Shammi Kapoor and Mehmood)

Dialogue writer : Pa NeelakanTan and Inder Raj Anand

This was a remake of the 1958 Sivaji Ganesan comedy Sabaash Meena. Great music by Shankar Jaikishan. This scene has subsequently been repeated in various forms in many films. The father is a martinet (Diwan Badriprasad) and the son (Mohan ) seeks some freedom. One day the son plans to sneak away to watch a play with his friend (Anokhe). Diwan senses this and asks the driver to slip away and takes his place. Mohan and Anokhe are oblivious that the driver is in fact Mohan's father. Mohan continues to curse his lack of freedom. They finally ask the driver to go and buy some cigarettes. Diwan is initially shocked at being asked to do that but recovers and turns around and asks the two

"kaunsaa cigarette laaoo.n aap ke liye?"

"कौनसा सिगरेट लाऊँ आपके लिये?"

In unison, both Mohan and Anokhe say

"Five, Five ..." and as they are about to say the last 'five', they see the face of the driver and together jump out of the car window.

Absolute copy of the Sivaji/Chandrababu/SV Ranga Rao scene and I found the original more delightful.

woh RaavaN? aapko pareshaan kiyaa? abhii aap dekhnaa hum bhii usko pareshaan kartaa

2010-11-18T16:43:00.000+05:30

Film: PaDosan

Year of release : 1968

Spoken by : Master Pillai (Mehmood)

Spoken to : Bindu (Saira Banu)

Dialogue writer : Rajendra Krishan (a rare combo of Rajendra Krishan as lyricist and RD Burman as MD)

This was one of my favourite films as I grew up. I did not see too many films in my first 25 years. This was one of the rare films that we saw in a theatre. The choice that day was between Haathi mere Saathi and PaDosan. And PaDosan was not my choice. I am so glad in retrospect that we did not go for Haathi mere Saathi.

PaDosan is based on the Bangla film 'Paasher BaaRii" which means 'the house nearby'. Anjali Devi made it into a Tamil film in 1960. The Tamil version was called 'Adutha VeeTTuppeN" which means 'the girl next door'. 8 years later Mehmood (whose entire career is owed to Tamil films in general and Nagesh in particular) took this story and made into one of the lasting classics of Hindi films.

I will not go into the details of the story. This scene happens when Bindu (Saira Banu) tries to get back at the 'boy next door' or 'uncleji next door' {considering Sunil Dutt was 'I am 38 trying to be 25' when this film was made} through her dance master. She wants her dance master to beat up the loafer next door who has been bothering her. The famous chaturnaar song - which is a competition between Vidyapathi (Kishore Kumar) playbacking for Bhola and Masterji - has already happened. Bhola won that round.

Now all the provocation of Bindu is not able to get Masterji's anger to rise. She even questions his manhood. In response, Masterji coyly pleads guilty to being a man. Finally she invokes religion. Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel. Religion probably is the first. She asks him that when Raavan took Sita away, what did Raam do? Masterji says - he goes to Lanka and defeats Raavan.

'...RaavaN ko aisaa glatten chop maaraa"

Bindu exults that the man has got it finally and quickly says

"haa.n... to tum ek aadmii ko nahee.n maar sakte..."

The now enlightened Masterji says these classic lines

"aiyyaiyyo, aisaa baat kyaaji... aap pehle kyuu.n nahee.n bolaa humko. "

"devii, woh RaavaN? aapko pareshaan kiyaa? abhii aap dekhnaa, hum bhii usko pareshaan kartaa"

and then the fantastic war cry (which means - oi raavan, come here you...)

"dey RaavaN inge vaa Daa nee!"

"अई अई यो, ऐसा बात क्या जी...आप पहले क्यूं नहीं बोला हमको.

देवी.. वो रावण? आपको परेशान किया? अभी आप देखना, हम भी उसको परेशान करता"

'डै रावण, इंगे वाडा नी!"

Just like Hrishikesh Mukherjee has convinced an entire country that cancer (of any stage) is incurable, Mr Mehmood has convinced all North Indians that no South Indian can speak Hindi properly. But then that is the power of a character.

hamee.n hum hai.n to kyaa hum hai.n tumhee.n tum ho to kyaa tum ho

2010-10-31T19:42:00.003+05:30

Film : Sharmilee

Year of release : 1971

Spoken by : Captain Ajit Kapoor (Shashi Kapoor)

Spoken to : Colleagues at army mess
Dialogue writer : Vrajendra Gaur

This line is actually from a famous Urdu couplet written by the poet Sarshaar. The full couplet which gets quoted in the movie is

chaman mein iKhtilaat-e-rang-o-buu se baat bantii hai

hamii.n ham hai.n to kyaa ham hai.n, tumhee.n tum ho to kyaa tum ho

चमन में इख़्तिलात ए रंगो बू से बात बनती है

हमीं हम हैं तो क्या हम हैं, तुम्हीं तुम हो तो क्या तुम हो

The situation is that a few army men are sitting and drinking in the mess. Two of them get into an argument on some small issue. This dialogue marks Shashi's entry in the film, so to defuse the situation he says this couplet.

The amalgamation of various colours and fragrances makes a garden what it is

if it was just your kind or just my kind of fragrances and colours it won't be the same thing

A great line to break up an argument.

The film by the way has an amazing score by SD Burman. I get gooseflesh just by writing about it. One of his best work for non-Dev Anand, non-Ashok Kumar films. Abhimaan would also rank in that league. Coming back as he was after a debilitating illness, it would have given him a lot of self confidence too. Else it could be quite depressing being unfavourably compared to your one and only son.

Main aaj se Grihshobha chhoR ke Cosmo paRhoo.ngaa

2010-10-26T12:00:00.002+05:30

Film: Housefull
Year of release : 2010
Spoken by : Aarush (Akshay Kumar)
Spoken to : Saundarya Bhagyalakshmi Venkateshwari Basappa Rao aka Sandy (Deepika Padukone)
Dialogue writer : Anvita Dutt Guptan

Here is another director who started out by criticising films (like Khalid Mohammad and Kunal Kohli) and ending up worse than the films he criticised. He should have stuck to being a critic. Housefull was hyped by Sajid Khan as the biggest hit in 2010 - three weeks before the film was released. Sajid said he was interested only in the audience reaction and the audience would surely love his film as he had put the right formulaic elements in the film. He started his film with a dedication to Prakash Mehra, Manmohan Desai, K Raghavendra Rao etc who he seems to hold in high esteem. Three days after the film started slipping at the box office, he released a full page ad saying that all critics had rated the film very well. Talk about volte face. I really get peeved when someone tries to show integrity and character and then does something really petty. I find his sister's films far more honest and funny. This man is what we call in Delhi lingo as a 'sude' - short for pseudo intellectual. But enough of my anger against this man who is so undeserving of it. Probably I feel thus because I paid good money to buy a DVD of this awful and atrocious film. Our film industry managed to burn the prints of Alam Ara. They should use this talent for this film as well. Okay okay no more.

This is an attempt by Sajid Khan to merge the audiences of a high brow magazine like Cosmopolitan with the lower middle class vernacular audience of Grihshobha (so he says himself). But I found this one rare funny moment in this galactically mindless movie.

Sandy falls for Aarush because she thinks that his wife is dead and feels guilty about having slapped him. Aakhri pasta (Chunky Pandey) told her this lie.

However Aarush never told her a lie, he was trying to drown himself in the ocean because his wife left him on he night of the honeymoon. when Devika (Jiah Khan), Aarush's wife, meets Aarush, he asks for the divorce papers. Sandy realises that Aarush's wife is alive. She goes away in a huff.

Aarush again heads towards the ocean. Ostensibly to drown himself. His friend Babu Rao (Ritesh Deishmukh) and his wife Hetal (Lara Dutta) send him to go after Sandy and win her over.

He goes to the room and Sandy refuses to open. However Aarush tries to maneuver through the next room balcony into Sandy's room.

He slips and is about to fall. Sandy sees it on tv and pulls him up after she realises that Aarush is telling the truth and mischief monger was pasta.

She says that she had read somewhere that if one saves someone his or her life belongs to the saver and not to the person and hence Aarush's life belonged to her.

they hug and make up. then Aarush in a classic comedic moment asks her where did you read that

sandy pauses and says - "In last month's Cosmo"

Aarush says - "I love Cosmo"

and follows that up with the clincher,

"main aajse Grihshobha chhoR ke Cosmo padhoongaa"

The full exchange

"Ab tumhaari jaan tumhaari nahiin. ab tumhaari jaan meri hai, aur tumhe koii haq nahiin bantaa use ganwaane kaa"
"I love you"
"Vaise tumne paRha kahaan thaa"
"pichle maheene ke Cosmo me.n"
"I love Cosmo"
"main aajse Grihshobha chhoR ke Cosmo paRhoongaa"

aaye to usse keh denaa Chhainuu aayaa thaa

2010-10-20T18:43:00.045+05:30

Film : Mere Apne

Year of release : 1971

Spoken by : Chhainuu Laal (Shatrughan Sinha)

Spoken to : Anandi Devi (Meena Kumari)
Dialogue writer : Gulzar

This is an all time classic line. The film is not so great. A remake of Tapan Sinha's Apon Jon. A youthful Shatru (Gambler is another film where you can see him at his youthful best, but this is a bigger role) and the very handsome Vinod Khanna pitted against each other.

Billoo (Dinesh Thakur) was abducted by Raghu (Asrani) who is part of the rival Chhainoo gang. Shyam (Vinod Khanna) goes and rescues him. Later Raghu is rounded up by Billoo and team, but they run away after seeing naani maa or Anandi (Meena Kumari). She takes Raghu home and tends to his wounded leg.

Since she stays in what is a known hideout of Shyam's gang, Chhainoo and gang land up there to rescue Raghu. The moment he goes in, Raghu stands up and blurts out

"Chhainoo...Billoo .. aur uske saath do aur bhee the"
"छैनू...बिल्लू...और उसके साथ दो और भी थे"

Anandi says,

"dost hai teraa?... aa baiTh"
"दोस्त है तेरा? ....आ बैठ"

A very angry Chhainoo says

"shaam kahaa.n hai"
"शाम कहां है?"

Anandi who has not really wisened up to the gangwars, naively says

"dekh naa beTe... ye laDke bahut laDte hain aapas me.n...tu to baDaa hai inme.n... inko samjhaataa kyo.n nahee.n...jaane kis baat pe kaTTi kiye baiThe hai.n...too baTTi karaa degaa to ye nahee.n laDenge"
"देख ना बेटे...ये लडके बहुत लडते हैं आपस में...तू तो बडा है इनमें...इनको समझाता क्यों नहीं...जाने किस बात पे कट्टी किये बैठे हैं...तू बट्टी करा देगा तो ये नहीं लडेंगे"

Though Chhainoo is surprised at this warmth, he still persists with

"shaam kahaa.n hai"
"शाम कहां है?"

"wo to biTToo ko lekar dawaakhaane gayaa hai"
"वो तो बिट्टू को लेकर दवाखाने गया है"

"aaye to usse keh denaa chhainoo aayaa thaa...bahut garmee hai khoon me.n to beshaq aa jaaye maidaan me.n..jo hasrat nikaalnee ho wo nikaal le wo, lekin aaindaa...mere kisii laDke ko haath lagaayaa to muhalle kaa muhallaa uDaa ke rakh doo.nga"
"आये तो उससे कह देना छैनू आया था...बहुत ग़र्मी है ख़ून में तो बेशक़ आ जाये मैदान में ...जो हसरत निकालनी हो वो निकाल ले वो...लेकिन आइन्दा मेरे किसी लडके को हाथ लगाया तो मुहल्ले का मुहल्ला उडा के रख दूंगा"

The trade mark rub of the left side of the neck with the right hand today defines any sketch of Shatrughan Sinha. And yes this dialogue too...though many artists use a variant of this

"Shyaam se kehnaa Chhainoo aayaa thaa. "

But the actual line is,

"aaye to usse keh denaa Chhainuu aayaa thaa"

"आये तो उससे कह देना छैनू आया था"

Main to inko tabse jaantaa hoon jab inke baal safed the

2010-10-15T09:05:00.002+05:30

Film : Jeenaa Yahaan

Year of release : 1979

Spoken by : Umesh (Unknown)

Spoken to : Shekhar (Shekhar Kapur)
Dialogue writer : Basu Chatterjee

Shekhar Kapur did a few films with his then girl friend Shabana Azmi. Jeena Yahaan was one of them. Very rarely do real life couples have online chemistry. Dharam-Hema and Rishi-Neetu notable exceptions. Shabana and Shekhar too dont have much going by way of chemistry. Anyways the film was a Basu Chatterjee film. And hence I had to see it. Nothing much to recommend in the movie though. Even Salilda's music was stale. But I love this line.

Shekhar is helping to organise a function marking the inauguration of a new venture of one of his friends. Another friend Umesh (unknown actor and a new member of the group) is also helping out. Mr Mathur (R S Chopra) arrives with his family just then. Shekhar welcomes him and introduces Mr. Mathur to Umesh.

Shekhar: Umesh, Mathur ko pehchaante ho? उमेश, माथुर को पहचानते हो?

(To Mathur) Umesh, hamaare group kaa nayaa member hai. उमेश, हमारे ग्रूप का नया मॅम्बर है.

Umesh: Mathur ko kaun nahii.n pehchaantaa. Main to inko tabse jaantaa hoon jab inke baal safed the. Kaale to ab huye hain. माथुर को कौन नहीं पह्चानता. मैं तो इनको तबसे जानता हूं जब इनके बाल सफ़ेद थे. काले तो अब हुये हैं

Guffaws and twitters all around and a very red faced Mathur. Good line Mr. Chatterjee. Well done! Can't say that for the rest of the film though.

I'll sue you all in American court

2010-10-10T17:52:00.028+05:30

Film : 3 Idiots

Year of release : 2009

Spoken by : Chatur Ramalingam (Omi Vaidya)

Spoken to : Farhan and Raju (Madhavan and Sharman)
Dialogue writer : Rajkumar Hirani and Abhijat Joshi

The climax of this all time classic - Farhan and Raju are looking for Rancho and when Chatur calls them, they think they have finally found him. But the search turns out to be longer. They are forced to go to Manali and finally to Ladakh. Chatur has an important meeting and refuses to go. Farhan and Raju gag him, tie him up and forcibly take him along. When they reach the home stretch (the beautiful raw beauty of Ladakh), they untie him. As the gag comes off, the first thing that Chatur says ;

"I'll sue you all in American court"

A great line which in one fell swoop trashes the Indian legal system (and rightly so) and communicates the options available with Chatur. Given the Indian legal system and its long pendency, it is an empty threat - if you say "I will sue you". Because the eventual victory (if at all) would by Pyrrhic at best. Now, thanks to this line, this threat suddenly gets potent. So next time, someone has dealt fraudulently or unfairly with you, use this new threat.

Ek aur ghaRii bhii to hai jo peT me.n chaltii hai

2010-10-04T17:47:00.000+05:30

Film: Kinara

Year of release : 1977

Spoken by : Aarti Sanyal (Hema Malini)

Spoken to : Inderjeet (Jeetender)

Actually the 'spoken to' column should say Prakash, because Aarti thinks she is speaking to Prakash, though it is actually Inderjeet. I was reminded of this film recently because the story of the recent Lafangey Parindey is loosely based on Kinara. Though I must add a caveat that I have not seen Lafangey Parindey and hence this need not be taken as authoritative. But I have seen Kinara. It is one of Gulzar's forgettable films with absolutely unforgettable music by RD Burman. Very slow and boring film. No performances worth speaking. Though Hema's dancing skills seem well exploited. But the music is worth its weight in gold.

Coming back to the line, Prakash/Inderjeet drops Aarti (who is blind) home after a visit to the church. As Inderjeet is about to take leave of her, she says, it is already 6 pm, so he might as well have tea before leaving. Inder wonders aloud as to how she knows the time.

I thought she would say 'braille watch' or something like that. But the answer surprised me. I liked it as well. So here it is - for your reading pleasure.

"एक और घड़ी भी तो है जो पेट में चलती है"

"Ek aur ghaRii bhii to hai jo peT me.n chaltii hai"

I don't remember any other Hindi film dialogue that refers to the body clock!

I explain NEVER

2010-09-28T10:02:00.000+05:30

Film: Bulundi

Year of release : 1981

Spoken by : Professor Satish Khurana (Raaj Kumar)

Spoken to : Principal (Nitin Sethi)

Raaj Kumar was one of the breed of originals in Bollywood. He was original - even when being ungrammatical. This is a story about a Professor (played by Raaj Kumar) who is approached by some rich men to mend the ways of their wayward sons. He accepts the challenge and does the seemingly impossible job. You can see a very young Rakesh Bedi and Gulshan Grover as college students here and Danny (in probably) the only double role of his career. Raaj Kumar is verbose and bombastic for the most part. He is accused of leaking exam papers to his pupils. The principal (Nitin Sethi) demands an explanation. Prof Khurana responds with

"I never explain. मैं जागे ज़मीर का इंसान हूँ. तशरीह मुल्ज़िम या बुज़्दिल किया करते हैं. I explain NEVER."

The word 'tashreeh' of course means explanation. Raaj Kumar was also fond of intimidating the antagonists with chaste Urdu. Why use bullets when you can use Urdu? Also his style of emphasising on 'never' by placing it at the end of the sentence is most droll.

A film that will always rank among Danny's top ten performances. And Danny of course is one of the most under rated actors of Bollywood.

So next time your boss calls you into a cabin and wishes to read the riot act to you; tell your boss, you are one whose conscience is wide awake and such people explain - NEVER. :)

Raashan pe bhaashan bahut hai par bhaashan pe raashan koii nahii

2010-08-25T09:43:00.000+05:30

Film : Upkaar

Year of release : 1967

Spoken by : Malang Baba (Pran)

Spoken to : Various characters

A hark back to the 'raashan' era, where ordinary middle class citizens spent a lot of time getting this ungettable object.

This is the film which turned Pran's image from the despicable rogue that he played with elan to a 'character actor'. This was then taken to greater lengths with films like Zanjeer and Majboor. Pran along with Nirupa Roy became Amitabh's lucky charm. So much so that when he and ABCL were struggling badly, he got Pran to come out of retirement and do a special act with him in that crap film called Mrityudaata. The film was so bad that no amount of luck or charm could help it.

But Upkaar was the beginning of the Bharat series of patriotic films. It was riding on the Indo-Pak war and the personality of Late LB Shastri. But it is not a bad film either. Well written, good songs and some great characters - like this Malang fellow whose shibboleth is

"राशन पे भाषण बहुत है, पर भाषण पे राशन कोई नहीं, इसलिये जब भी बोलता हूं, ज़्यादा ही बोलता हूं"

"Raashan pe bhaashan bahut hai, par bhaashan pe raashan koee nahee.n, isliye jab bhii boltaa hoon. zyaadaa hee boltaa hoo.n'

Use it whenever you are accused of being garrulous.

Hum to Doobenge sanam tum ko bhii le Doobenge

2010-05-25T16:31:00.000+05:30

Film : Aawaara

Year of release : 1951

Spoken by : Raj (Raj Kapoor)

Spoken to : Rita (Nargis)

This is a line which instantly reminds me of my 9th grade English textbook. There was a story written by a Bhabhani thingummajig which was entitled Mere Monkeys. If that short story was to be made into a Hindi film, I would have given it the same title as the title of this post.

One of the lasting impressions that I have in this film is a 11-12 year old Shashi Kapoor going and asking his mother 'Maa yeh aawaaraa kyaa hotaa hai'. It is probably the most contrived line I have heard in the history of Hindi cinema. Shashi Kapoor even at that tender age had the grace to look very very embarrassed. You must watch the film for just this one line. But otherwise this film - written by Khwaaja Ahmad Abbas - whose great grandson Shahid Kapoor is setting the screen on fire these days - was a paean to the socialist version of the nature vs nurture debate. Ever since Hitler did what he did, most scientists are loathe to propound any theory which links behaviour or traits to genetics. Khwaaja Ahmad Abbas tries to settle it in favour of 'nurture' with this film. Hence KN Singh goes to great lengths to disprove the judge's theory that a thief's son will turn out to be a thief. He picks up the judge's son and turns him into an 'aawaara' - a vagabond.

Anyways this line has nothing to do with all the pseudo serious drivel that I have written above. Raj and his girl friend Rita are frolicking on the beach. The famous Raj-Nargis chemistry is evident. They both have jumped into a small 'bay'. While Rita has managed to come out, Raj hasn't. He extends his hand out asking for help and utters this classic line.

"Hum to Doobenge sanam tum ko bhii le Doobenge"

"हम तो डूबेंगे सनम तुम को भी ले डूबेंगे"

Maine abhii tak decide nahee.n kiyaa hai

2010-05-20T14:43:00.000+05:30

Film : Road

Year of release : 2002

Spoken by : Babu (Manoj Bajpai)

Spoken to : Lakshmi (Antara Mali)

Babu convinces the young couple Lakshmi and Arvind to give him a lift. He then manages to shake off Arvind and makes off with Lakshmi. A scared Lakshmi is trying to figure out what he wants from her. At one point - exasperated - she asks

"lekin tum mujhse chaahte kyaa ho?"

Babu comes up with another classic line (like so many others that you can read by clicking on the Label at the bottom of this post)

"मैंने अभी तक decide नहीं किया है"
"maine abhii tak decide nahee.n kiyaa hai"

The line is part funny and part chilling - given the context of the film. This is a very common scenario in corporates. A tyrant of a boss and a traumatised employee. Finally the employee breaks down and asks - what is it that you really want? A great line if you are such a boss!

Agar mujhe sharm aane lagegii, to tere aur mere me.n farq kyaa reh jaayegaa

2010-05-15T13:03:00.001+05:30

Film : Ghulami

Year of release : 1985

Spoken by : Jaabar (Mithun Chakraborty)

Spoken to : Tulsi (Anita Raj)

One of JP Dutta's earliest films. Extremely unwatchable. The kind of film that makes you demand the inclusion of films within the ambit of Consumer Protection Act. And this is inspite of having Kulbhushan Kharbanda, Dharmendra, Naseeruddin Shah, Mithun and Smita Patil in this film. Enough of my ranting. There are some interesting lines, however, which Jaabar i.e. Mithun has in this film. Click on the label 'Ghulami' or search using the search box for other lines from this film.

Jaabar's (Mithun) animals have strayed from their normal grazing route, and he now has to round them up. Obviously this is hard work and an angry Jaabar curses his animals while rounding them up. His girl friend Tulsi (Anita Raj) is slightly embarrassed and chides him for swearing in her presence. She says that he should be ashamed of his action.

Jabar says

"Sharm to ladkiyon kaa gehnaa hai agar mujhe sharm aane lagegee to tere aur mere me.n farq kyaa reh jaayegaa"

"शर्म तो लड़कियों का गहना है, अगर मुझे शर्म आने लगेगी तो तेरे और मेरे में फर्क़ क्या जायेगा"

These are lines which are unapologetically macho. A far cry from today's androgenous generation where the gender lines seem to have blurred. You might agree with them or disagree with them, but you cannot ignore them.

Aisaa kuchh laa jo ang pe lage

2010-05-10T12:44:00.002+05:30

Film : Rangeela

Year of release : 1995

Spoken by : Munna (Aamir Khan)

Spoken to : Waiter at 5 star (Rajeev Mehta)

One of Ramgopal Varma's non RGV-esque films. This was a romantic musical on the lines of Singing in the Rain (another film I love). Although there is a 'Taporii' character in the film (also referred to as 'bhai'), but he is as lovable as they come. In one of the most shocking statements, RGV (post release) said that Govinda would have done a better job. I felt Aamir lent a certain dignity to the role.

Coming back to the line, Munna has invited Mili to a 'date' to a five star restaurant. He is obviously out of place in a five star. This makes his exchange with the snobbish waiter a treat. The waiter incidentally is played by Rajeev Mehta who is now a TV star (remember the Praful 'gadha' from KhichDii) of many serials. And he plays a fantastic foil to Munna's naivete.

Munna asks the waiter what are the items on offer - like you would in an Udupi 'hotel'. He would have expected - 'vada pav, misal pav, kanda bhajia...' kind of response. But what does he get! A list of items in English, that he has never heard of in his life. Instead of showing his ignorance by asking what they are, he comes up with this brilliant line:

"arre wo angreejii item nahee.n chaahiye apun ko, aisaa kuchh laa jo ang pe lage"

"अरे वो अंग्रेजी आइटम नहीं चाहिये अपुन को, ऐसा कुछ ला जो अंग पे लगे"

You should watch this movie just for Rajeev Mehta's reaction to Aamir's one liners.

The world is fast moving towards a multi-cuisine existence. Twenty years ago if someone said that his favourite dish is the Lebanese Shavarma, he would be someone who would be trying to impress. Today it is actually possible. So if you end up in a foreign cuisine restaurant and the waiter throws some foreign names at you, use this line. If he is an Indian waiter, he will understand and get you something that is deep fried. And as my mother says, anything that is deep fried or put in sugar syrup is good on the palate.

Saliim tujhe marne nahee.n dega aur hum tujhe jeene nahee.n denge

2010-05-04T13:47:00.000+05:30

Film : Mughal-e-Azam

Year of release: 1960

Spoken by: Akbar (Prithviraj Kapoor)

Spoken to: Anarkali (Madhubala)

The lid had been blown off the Salim-Anarkali love story and it has now reached a situation where Akbar has decided to execute Anarkali. However Salim has promised Anarkali that he will consummate their love, and Anarkali begs Akbar to let Salim fulfil his promise, or else, the future emperor of India will be proved a liar. Akbar grants her the wish, saying that at the end of the day she has to make Salim unconscious, so that his soldiers can carry Anarkali away for execution. In his words -

"taaki voh teri maut se naa aashnaa ho jaaye, tujhe bhool jaaye, aur hamaare pehredaar tujhe behosh aashiq ke pehloo se uThaa kar, maut kee aaGosh me.n gum kar de.n"

Anarkali agrees to this plan. She says

"maut muhabbat se qareeb ho gayee. aisaa hee hogaa."

Akbar however delivers his immortal ultimatum thus -

'agar aisa naa huaa, to saliim tujhe marne nahee.n dega.. aur hum, anarkali, tujhe jeene nahee.n denge'

"अगर ऐसा ना हुआ, तो सलीम तुझे मरने नहीं देगा और हम अनारकली, तुझे जीने नहीं देंगे'

kaii baar ke liye ek baar zaroorii hai

2010-01-25T11:43:00.001+05:30

Film : Bazaar
Year of release : 1982
Spoken by : Salim (Naseeruddin Shah)
Spoken to : Najma (Smita Patil)

Salim is a poet and a civilized man. He loves Najma, but is willing to wait for his turn. He tries to tell her that Akhtar (Bharat Kapoor) will never marry her, and she should take a decision in her life. But she lingers on to a false hope with Akhtar. But she does have a soft corner for Salim.

Salim calls her up one day and says

"tumse ek baar milnaa hai"
Najma: kab?
Salim : Jab tum chaaho.
Najma: ek hii baar kyo.n?

Then Salim with the subtlety and finesse of the poet that he is, slips in this gem. He says

"kaii baar ke liye ek baar zaroorii hai"
"कई बार के लिये एक बार ज़रूरी है"

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, eh!

chaaTnaa hai to ice cream mangaa

2010-01-15T11:27:00.002+05:30

Film : Jaane Tu...Ya Jaane Na
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Bagheera (Arbaaz Khan)
Spoken to : Inspector Vaghmare (Paresh Rawal)

This film has a comic book feel to it and this feel is further accentuated by the names given to the two screen brothers played by two real life brothers Arbaaz and Sohail Khan. They are called Bhaloo and Bagheera in this film. This is obviously a nod to the Jungle Book characters.

Bhaloo and Bagheera go around the city - displaying wanton behaviour all around. Inspector Vaghmare arrests them and throws them into the lock up. When they are in the lock up he realises that the two are connected to the high and mighty. He then tries to ingratiate himself to them. Bagheera gets disgusted and says,

"chaaTnaa hai to ice cream mangaa"
"चाटना है तो आइस क्रीम मंगा"

You will be 'suee' I will be 'suar'

2010-01-10T18:13:00.001+05:30

Film : Kambakkht Ishq

Year of release : 2009

Spoken by : KeswaNi (Javed Jaffrey)

Spoken to : Hot Dog Stall owner (Bill Marinella)

This is such a crap film that I can't even tell you. But I found this very interesting and funny line which I thought I should share. It is a great take on the lessor-lessee or mortgagor-mortgagee kind of terms that are used in financial sector. I have spent my entire life in the financial sector and I found this dig at these legal-financial terms very droll.

This film of course is a shameless copy of the 2002 Tamil superhit Pammal K Sambandham which had superb writing by Crazy Mohan and superb acting by Kamalahaasan. In the original there is a character of a person who is very fond of going to the consumer court for everything. This character is played by Madan Bob. A similar character is fleshed out in KI, with Javed Jaffrey doing the honours.

He goes to a hot dog stall owner and buys a hot dog for 2 dollars. Then he fishes out a needle (or suee) and claims that he found the needle inside the hotdog. He threatens to sue the hot dog stall owner. Using a delightful pun he says

"You will be 'suee' I will be 'suar'"

Barsaat ki pehli boond ko tapti hui zameen par gir kar fana honaa hi paRtaa hai

2010-01-05T18:03:00.000+05:30

Film : Ghulaami

Year of release : 1985

Spoken by : Sumitra (Smita Patil)

Spoken to : Ranjit Singh (Dharmendra)

Dialogue writer : OP Dutta

Ranjit Singh has become an outlaw. His childhood friend Sumitra tries to broker peace (she has now married a police officer) and arranges a meeting with Ranjit to try and convince him to give up the path of armed resistance. Ranjit Singh is reluctant to do so. Sumitra gives him the logic that is beautifully brought out in this quotation

"The trouble with being a pioneer is that you get shot by Red Indians"

She says

"Barsaat ki pehlii boond ko taptii huii zameen par gir kar fana honaa hi paRtaa hai'"

ek aap hai.n, ek saale vo the

2009-12-30T13:23:00.001+05:30

Film : Sharaabi
Year of release : 1984
Spoken by : Vicky (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Sudhir and his gang

This is one of the most interesting sequences of the film. Sudhir and his gang of goons accost Vicky on his way and relieve him of his gold chain, wallet and other possessions. When he goes to a slightly lower class bar - he finds that Sudhir and his gang have also come there. He goes and tells them that they are all very 'shareef' i.e. decent and good people. However, he also says that he has been waylaid by a bunch of goons who have taken away his money and his gold chain.

"ek aap hai.n, ek saalo vo the"

A la Marc Antony, he gradually establishes the fact that the goons that he is referring to and the current lot of 'decent' men are the same. He bashes them up one by one. He keeps on repeating the line

"एक आप हैं, एक साले वो थे"

But not until he has collected a lot of applause from the front benchers and the back benchers.

zindagii me.n kis kambaKht ko maaloom hai ki vo kyaa kar rahaa hai

2009-12-25T11:27:00.000+05:30

Film : Bazaar

Year of release : 1982

Spoken by : Najma (Smita Patil)

Spoken to : Her friend (Not known)

This film stands out for some great music by Khaiyyam. Shocking that it did not get any award, though it was nominated for the best music director award. Ironically it lost out to RD Burman's first ever Filmfare award, which is another story altogether.

Najma is living with Akhtar (Bharat Kapoor) who asks her to arrange the marriage of his rich patron in Hyderabad. So they all go to Hyderabad from Mumbai to look for a beautiful and poor girl. Their search narrows downs into Shabnam (Supriya Pathak) who is in love with Sarju (Faarooque Sheikh). Shabnam's family prefers the richer patron to the poor Sarju. When they go to Shabnam's house to take her measurements for the jewellery, Shabnam starts bawling and screaming. Najma's friend is shocked at the turn of events and asks Najma accusingly

"aap ye sab kyaa kar rahee.n hai.n Najma?"

Najma responds with the very philosophical one-liner

"zindagii me.n kis kambaKht ko maaloom hai ki vo kyaa kar rahaa hai"

"ज़िन्दगी में किस कम्बख़्त को मालूम है कि वो क्या कर रहा है"

kaun kambaKht hai jo bardaasht karne ke liye peetaa hi

2009-12-20T12:05:00.001+05:30

Film : Devdas

Year of release : 1955

Spoken by : Devdas (Dilip Kumar)

Spoken to : Chandramukhi (Vyjayanthi Mala)

This is the real 'Devdas', not the bastardised glam version of SRK and Bhansali. I am not one of those who insists that the old is the real thing. In fact this film was made over two decades before my birth and I saw it over two decades after my birth, but I will surely put it above the SRK version. If you don't believe me, just search for this scene on youtube. Both the versions are available there. Go see it. Then read this post. But if you believe me, continue reading.

Devdas's father is on his death bed. He starts visiting Chandramukhi who is a prostitute. He has also started drinking. One such night, he is in a drunken stupor. Chandramukhi tries to stop him. She says

"aur mat piyo Devdas"

"kyo.n?" asks Devdas

"kucch hii din huye peenaa shuru kiye. Itnee zyaadaa bardaasht na kar sakoge"

"kaun kambaKht hai jo bardaasht karne ke liye peetaa hai. Mai.n to peetaa hoo.n ke...bas saa.ns le sakoo.n...aur...aisee jagah se uTh kar jaane kee taaqat nahee.n hai naa...tabhii to yahaa.n paDaa rahtaa hoo.n...bas...dekhtaa rahtaa hoo.n tumhaare mu.nh kee taraf...to bhii mai.n bilkul behosh nahee.n hotaa...kucch hosh rah hee jaataa hai...hosh se kah do...kabhii hosh naa aane paaye...

Chandramukhi says, "yahaa.n aise log bhee aate hai.n Devdas, jo sharaab ko chhoote bhee nahee.n

Devdas : chhote bhee nahee.n? mere paas bandook ho to mai.n unhe golii se uDaa doo.n. vo log mujh se bhii baDe paapii hai.n Chandramukhi. Pahle to mai.n sharaab peenaa chhoDoongaa nahee.n. aur agar chhoD diyaa to phir yahaa.n kabhii nahee.n aaoongaa. kabhii nahee.n aoongaa. meraa to ilaaj hai. lekin un logo.n ka kyaa hogaa ...jo peete bhii nahee.n. aur phir bhii yahaa.n aate hai.n

If you watch the video, also watch for these great lines...

"mat chhuo...haath mat lagaao mujhe Chandramukhi...ab bhii kucch hosh baaqii hai"

"pal bhar me.n sab kucch Khatam ho gayaa. woh shaadii ke raaste pe chal di aur mai.n barbaadii ke raaste par"

lagtaa hai saarii Mumbai ke baaG noch Daale aapne

2009-12-15T13:04:00.001+05:30

Film : Maqbool

Year of release : 2003

Spoken by : Nimma (Tabu)

Spoken to : Maqbool (Irfan Khan)

Maqbool is supervising the arrangements for Abbaji's daughter Sameera's wedding. When Nimma comes to the house and sees Maqbool supervising the flower decoration arrangement, she comments

"lagtaa hai saarii Mumbai ke baaG noch Daale aapne"

"लगता है सारी मुम्बई के बाग़ नोच डाले आपने"

There is a lot of sexual tension in this scene. Nimma is teasing him, praising him, complaining about him - almost all at once. All the actors in this film have done a fabulous job. I still believe this is Vishal Bharadwaj's best film till date.

Ilaaqaa tumhaaraa hai aur maiN akelaa hooN

2009-12-10T22:20:00.000+05:30

Film: Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Vijay Khanna (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Sher Khan (Pran)

If you have been following this blog, then you would have read other interesting posts from this film. If you haven't, I suggest you go to the labels section and click on Zanjeer and read all the posts before reading this.

Vijay goes to Sher Khan's area in response to the challenge that he had thrown to him at the police station. Sher Khan had said that Vijay's arrogance was due to his uniform and his position. Vijay is obviously eager to dispel this notion. So he reaches in mufti at Sher Khan's joint and says,

"yehee hai vo ilaaqaa, jahaan log tumheN jaante hain? Sher Khan ab na to vardi hai na kursi aur naa hee mai duty par hooN"

And polishes off his dramatic entry with a counter challenge (in what would later become the characteristic angry young man style) -

"ilaaqaa tumhaara hai aur maiN akelaa hooN"

"इलाक़ा तुम्हारा है और मैं अकेला हूं"

jisne hameshaa pulaav khaayaa ho, use sookhii roTi me.n kavita nazar aatii hai

2009-12-05T11:15:00.000+05:30

Film : Hum Dono

Year of release : 1961

Spoken by : Mita's father (Gajanan Jagirdar)

Spoken to : Anand (Dev Anand)

This film is normally classified as 'Drama', but for me, this will always classify as 'Mystery'. Not for obvious reasons, but for the fact that the only good thing about this film was its music. What a classic score by Jaidev! And he never scored for a Navketan film after that. Ended up being relegated to an occasional composer till his death almost 3 decades later. That for me, will be one of the greatest mysteries. I wish I could go and ask Dev Anand that question.

On the topic of the scene, this is one of those typical rich father telling poor prospective groom about how the groom's one year's salary is less than the girl's one day's expense. So Anand goes to meet Mita (Sadhna - looking slightly less beautiful than she looked in Parakh - wonder what happened)'s father for the first time. And the inevitable happens. Anand tries to convince Mita's father that she can live on 'sookhii roTi' or dry bread. Mita's father scoffs at it and says

"jisne hameshaa pulaav khaayaa ho, use sookhii roTi me.n kavita nazar aatii hai"

"जिसने हमेशा पुलाव खाया हो, उसे सूखी रोटी में कविता नज़र आती है"

shakti kaa santulan bahut zaroorii hai sansaar me.n

2009-11-30T12:05:00.002+05:30

Film : Maqbool

Year of release : 2003

Spoken by : Inspector Pandit (Om Puri)

Spoken to : ACP Devsare (Murali Sharma)

ACP Devsare has been newly posted. A major shoot out has occurred in his jurisdiction. He asks the two officers PanDit and Purohit where they were on the night of the crime. They both claim they were on duty. Devsare is skeptical about their claim. He says, if that was indeed the case, the crime would never have been committed. PanDit responds with the classic

"phir to bahut baDaa crime ho jaataa sir. shakti kaa santulan bahut zarooree hai sansaar me.n. aag ke liye paanii kaa Dar bane rahnaa chaahiye"

"फिर तो बहुत बडा क्राइम हो जाता सर. शक्ति का संतुलन बहुत ज़रूरी है संसार में. आग के लिए पानी का डर बने रहना चाहिये"

The entire cold war was testimony to this adage. But we seem to be doing fine even in a unipolar world.

ham to private company waalo.n ka namak khaate hai.n

2009-11-25T10:51:00.000+05:30

Film : Dhoop

Year of release : 2003

Spoken by : Electricity department employee

Spoken to : Prof. Suresh Kapoor (Om Puri)

This film is based on a real life struggle of the father of a Kargil war hero to get a petrol pump allotted to him. It is a good film. Om Puri, Revathi and Gul Panag are excellent. The story moves along his travails with every department in getting the petrol pump. The electricity department also harasses him. Prof Kapoor tries to reason with him. He appeals to his patriotism and tells him that the petrol pump has been allotted due to compassionate reasons. But the cynical electricity department employee responds with

"is desh ka namak nahee.n khaate ji ham. ham to private company waalon ka namak khaate hai.n"

"इस देश का नमक नहीं खाते जी हम. हम तो प्राइवेट कम्पनी वालों का नमक खाते हैं"

I feel Tata missed a great in-film branding opportunity here!

itnaa runway ho gayaa, ab take off karo

2009-11-20T15:10:00.031+05:30

Film : Johny Mera Naam

Year of release : 1970

Spoken by : I S Johar (as Dooja Ram)

Spoken to : Unknown actor (Premnath's goons)

Dialogue writer : Vijay Anand

I S Johar plays a triple role in this film. Not a father, son, grandson kind of triple role. These are three brothers - Pahlaa Ram, Dooja Ram and Teeja Ram. Pehla Ram is a palmist. Dooja Ram is an Indian Airlines steward. In a case of mistaken identity, Moti (Pran) thinks that Dooja Ram is Teeja Ram - his bar man. When his drink takes a long time coming, Moti thinks Teeja is pulling a fast one. His boss Bhupendra Singh (Premnath) sends his men to pick him up. When the goons are frog marching Dooja towards Moti, he asks them what they are doing. The goons think that he is pretending, but Dooja actually has no clue why he is being frog marched. Finally he gets exasperated and asks them

"arre, itna runway ho gayaa, ab take off karo. kyaa baat hai?"

"अरे, इतना रनवे हो गया, अब टेक ऑफ़ करो. क्या बात है? "

uskee plane ko take off karne ke liye 2 runway lagte hai.n

2009-11-15T11:03:00.002+05:30

Film : Jaane Tu...Ya Jaane Na
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Aditi (Genelia D'Souza)
Spoken to : Sushant (Ayaz Khan)

There was a time when a heroine whose name was Genelia D Souza would have changed it to Janaki Devi for acceptability from the broad audience. And they called that India more secular. I think the new generation is far more secular than our parents are/were. Genelia's screen name Aditi became a legend thanks to the popularity of the song "kabhi kabhi aditi". But it was her unique and slightly high pitched way of speaking that probably left a greater impression on the cine goers.

In this scene, Aditi is telling Sushant that Bombs (Alishka Varde) is slow on the uptake. She uses a flying metaphor for that. Normally a metaphor is used either because the speaker or the receiver understands that metaphor better. In this case neither is true. So wonder why Aditi used this flying metaphor. In any case, mine not to reason why. I liked the line. So here goes.

"uskee plane ko take off karne ke liye 2 runway lagte hai.n...matlab...thoRii slow hai woh"
"उसकी प्लेन को टेक ऑफ़ करने के लिये 2 रनवे लगते हैं...मतलब...थोड़ी स्लो है वो"

peD par chaDha kar seeDhii kheench lii

2009-11-10T11:01:00.001+05:30

Film : Parakh

Year of release : 1960

Spoken by : Pandit Tarkaalankaar (Kanhaiyalal)

Spoken to : Bhanj Babu (Asit Sen)

This is on my all time top 25 list. If you haven't seen this film, please do see it.

The Post Master NivaaraN Babu (Nazir Husain) gets an anonymous letter promising Rs. 5 lacs to the most honest man in the village. Many in the village put forth their candidature. The priest Pandit Tarkaalankaar is one of them. The zamindar TaanDav Tarafdaar (Jayant) promises to support him, but when the actual meeting starts, he favours Rajat (Vasant Choudhury). This makes Tarkaalankaar say

"peD par chaDha kar seeDhii kheench lii badmaash ne"

"पेड़ पर चढ़ा कर सीढ़ी खींच ली बदमाश ने"

mardo.n ke mukhauTe badalte hai.n, mard nahee.n

2009-11-05T10:29:00.002+05:30

Film : Bhumika

Year of release : 1977

Spoken by : Mrs. Kale (Amrish Puri's first wife)

Spoken to : Urvashi (Smita Patil)

This was a film based on Hansa Wadkar's autobiography called Sangte Aika (literally translated it means - I'll speak and you listen). I found the message slightly layered, but then I am too used to the Bollywood formula. Urvashi (or Usha as she is later called) keeps running from one man to another. From the slightly elder Dalvi (Amol Palekar) to her co star Rajan (Anant Nag) to the witty producer Sunil (Naseeruddin Shah). She finally meets Vinayak Kale (Amrish Puri) and feels that she would settle down with him. She does not realise that he is already married (his first wife is handicapped) and worse while living with Kale, she cannot move out of the house without Kale's approval. She feels stifled and plans to run away to Dalvi, her first partner. Kale's first wife learns of this and tells her

"mardo.n ke mukhauTe badalte hai.n, mard nahee.n"

"मर्दों के मुखौटे बदलते हैं, मर्द नहीं"

jab tak hai aashaa, tab tak hai gogia paashaa

2009-10-30T10:16:00.000+05:30

Film : Patthar aur Paayal

Year of release : 1974

Spoken by : Shankar Dayal (Rajender Nath)

Spoken to : ChhoTe Thakur Ranjeet Singh (Dharmendra)

Ranjeet is a dacoit and he has come to drop off Asha (Hema Malini) at her house. So he has this interesting verbal encounter with Shankar. Ranjeet says,

"mai.n Aasha ko chhoDne aayaa hoo.n"

Shankar says

"Aasha ko to kabhee nahee.n chhoDnaa chaahiye; jab tak hai Aasha tak tak hai Gogia Pasha"

"आशा को तो कभी नहीं छोड़ना चाहिये, जब तक है आशा, तब तक है गोगिया पाशा"

aap jitnaa bhee zyaadaa soche.n, kam hee hogaa

2009-10-25T10:02:00.000+05:30

Film : Chor Chor

Year of release : 1974

Spoken by : Hemlata (Leena Chandavarkar)

Spoken to : Aakaash (Vijay Anand)

This is one of the thrillers made reasonably well, which most people don't know about.

Hemlata has realised that she has feelings for Aakaash. He is lying sleepy and ill in his room in the guest house which is owned by Hemlata's mother. It is late in the night. Hemlata goes into his room to check on him. Aakaash says "log kyaa sochenge?". She says, she really does not care about that, but what will you think? He says that he can think quite a lot and read a lot of meaning into her action. She comes up with a great one liner. I think this is one of the better ways in which a Hindi film heroine has professed her love.

"aap jitnaa bhee zyaadaa soche.n, kam hee hogaa"

"आप जितना भी ज़्यादा सोचें, कम ही होगा"

ghar ka na khaaye aur duniyaa mauj uRaaye

2009-10-20T09:53:00.000+05:30

Film : Man ka Meet

Year of release : 1968

Spoken by : Pran (Vinod Khanna)

Spoken to : Lala ji (Om Prakash)

This was Vinod Khanna's debut film. Otherwise a very boring film. Interestingly he plays a villain in this film and his screen name is Pran. Towards the climax, Pran's villainy is revealed and Lalaji, who hitherto thought of him as loyal relative, is shocked to see the real Pran. He asks Pran why he is threatening his daughter Aarti (Leena Chandavarkar). Pran says that Lalaji is distributing all his wealth to the poor and it is unlikely that he (who has been a loyal aide and colleague) will be left with anything. As he puts it

"ghar ka na khaaye aur duniyaa mauj uRaaye"

"घर का ना खाये और दुनिया मौज उड़ाये"

ek to jungle me.n aag oopar se chaDDii me.n naag

2009-10-15T09:35:00.000+05:30

Film : Dhol

Year of release : 2007

Spoken by : Gautam "Goti" Sisodiya

Spoken to : Himselves

This is a caper about a group of friends who move from one funny situation to another. This was a remake of a 1990 Malayalam film In Harihar Nagar which was later remade as MGR Nagaril in Tamil. Unfortunately did not do as well in Hindi. Pakkiya (Sharman Joshi) brings in a couple to live with them. The couple has actually run away from home. Goti is not too happy, as they themselves have many problems to face and cannot afford to complicate their lives further. So when they leave he says out aloud

"ek to jungle me.n aag, oopar se chaDDii me.n naag"

"एक तो जंगल में आग, ऊपर से चड़डी में नाग"

Aaj tak aisee good luck huyee nahee.n ki kisee ladies se pyaar ho jaaye

2009-10-10T09:18:00.000+05:30

Film : Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Surinder Sahni (Shah Rukh Khan)

Spoken to : Taani (Anushka Sharma)

This was an interesting film - funny in parts - but too many cliches. Typical YashRaj cloying stuff. YRF should outsource writing and direction - else it becomes far too predictable. But the film is still worth a watch and Shah Rukh comes up with a good performance. If you watch the films do not switch off the moment the closing credits start rolling. Do listen to Shah Rukh's commentary over the closing credits. I, for one, thought that that by itself redeemed the film.

Taani plays the role of a girl who has a husband who loves her very much, but she is running after 'love' and does not appreciate what she has. So once she tells Surinder that she can't love him and if he can't live forever without love then she would leave. A very patient and 'nice' Surinder says,

"pyaar kyaa hotaa hai Taani ji mujhe nahee.n pataa, aaj tak aisee good luck huyee nahee.n ki kisee ladies se pyaar ho jaaye"

"प्यार क्या होता है तानी जी मुझे नहीं पता, आज तक ऐसी गुड लक हुयी नहीं कि किसी लेडीज़ से प्यार हो जाये"

jahaa.n dekhtee hai.n ek rishtaa qaayam kar letii hai.n

2009-10-05T14:55:00.003+05:30

Film : Kabhi Kabhie
Year of release : 1976
Spoken by : Amit Malhotra (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Pooja Khanna (Rakhee Gulzar)

Amit is a poet and he has gone to Pooja's college to recite his poetry. Pooja (among all the other girls) is enamoured of this tall, shy poet with a great voice. When she goes to take his autograph, he starts flirting with her. He praises her eyes. Pooja asks him what's so special about her eyes. A normal person would have been cornered by such a direct question. But Amit is a poet. So he comes up with a great response. He says,

"jahaa.n dekhtee hai.n ek rishtaa qaayam kar letii hai.n"
"जहां देखती हैं एक रिश्ता क़ायम कर लेती हैं"

On a lighter note, I used to wonder (and still do) about the way the title of the film was written. Why was the first 'Kabhi' written with just the 'i' and the second 'Kabhie' is written with 'ie'. Do write in and let me know, in case you know the answer.

baap ne maarii me.nRhakii beTaa teerandaaz

2009-09-30T14:38:00.001+05:30

Film : Prem Rog
Year of release : 1982
Spoken by : Radha's mother in law (Dina Pathak)
Spoken to : Radha's husband (Rajinder Nath)

Radha (Kiran Vairale) is Manorama's (Padmini Kolhapure) childhood friend. She gets married to Rajinder Nath and keeps him under her thumb. In one scene, Radha's husband comes in to the house looking for her. He sees his mother and asks her where Radha is. His mother is disgusted with her son running around Radha all the time. So she says

"baap ne maarii me.nRhakii beTaa teerandaaz"
"बाप ने मारी मेंढकी बेटा तीरंदाज़"

gilauree khaayaa karo gulfaam, zabaan qaaboo me.n rahtii hai

2009-09-25T11:41:00.001+05:30

Film : Maqbool
Year of release : 2003
Spoken by : Jahangir Khan (Pankaj Kapoor)
Spoken to : Jaywant Wadkar (Palekar)

Vishal Bharadwaj is fast on the way to becoming one of the greatest directors of Indian cinema, if his oeuvre continues to grow the way it is. Who would have thought that after listening to the Maachis soundtrack that behind this soundtrack is such a great director. There have been actors-turned director, editors turned director, cinematographer turned director, scriptwriter turned director, choreographer turned director, even lyricist turned director. Music directors have turned producer but never director. But this is the first instance of a music director who turned director. As they say, "der aayad durust aaye".

Jahangir Khan is a mafia don. Palekar is a local politician. Palekar goes to meet Jahangir Khan and offers to remove Chief Minister Bhonsle (Shammi Narang) provided Jahangir supports him. Jahangir is a strong believer in loyalties and is offended by this suggestion. But his face does not betray his thoughts. He calmly offers Palekar some 'paan'. Palekar refuses. Jahangir beckons Palekar closer. When he is close enough he pulls his head and thrusts a paan down his throat. Follows that up with this slam dunk line

"gilauree khaayaa karo gulfaam, zabaan qaaboo me.n rahtii hai"
"गिलौरी खाया करो गुलफ़ाम, ज़बान क़ाबू में रहती है"

aam kitnaa bhi baRaa ho jaaye rahegaa Daal ke neeche

2009-09-20T13:20:00.002+05:30

Film : Jugaad
Year of release : 2009
Spoken by : Commissioner I M Gupta (Govind Namdeo)
Spoken to : Murli (Vijay Raaz)

This is a film with a great premise and some very good actors. It was based on the 'sealing drive' in Delhi in 2007. The producer of this film was ostensibly one of those 'law-breakers' who were running a commercial enterprise from a residential area. In this film, he tries to show himself as a victim. That is the greatness of the Delhiite. He will break all the laws and will further try to prove himself as the aggrieved party if anyone tries to enforce the law. So the producer tries to tell us that this entire country is hopeless corrupt and that his act was an innocent gaffe compared to the transgressions happening elsewhere. But I will rant about Delhi and its lack of ethics later. Meanwhile back at the ranch,

Murli is Sandiip's friend and colleague. He tries to ensnare the municipal commissioner Gupta by taking snaps of the man in what the media classically calls 'compromising position'. But the commissioner is one up on him. When Gupta has foiled Murli's ploy, he comes up with this line

"aam kitnaa bhi baRaa ho jaaye rahegaa Daal ke neeche"

"आम कितना भी बड़ा हो जाये रहेगा डाल के नीचे"

ek drink to dushman ke saath lete hai.n

2009-09-15T10:44:00.010+05:30

Film : Jaane Tu...Yaa Jaane Na
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Mahesh (Rajat Kapoor)
Spoken to : Jai Rathore (Imran Khan)

Jai's girlfriend Meghna (Manjari Phadnis) takes him home. Over dinner, Jai realises that Meghna's parents {Mahesh (Rajat Kapoor) and Sheela (Kitu Gidwani)} have a dysfunctional relationship. Mahesh offers Jai a drink and Jai accepts. This is the new Bollywood. Such a thing would never have happened even in the 80s and 90s.

A girl brings her boyfriend home to dinner. The father offers him a drink. The boy accepts. They all drink together. Even the girl's mother. Wait there is more.

Mahesh offers Jai another drink. Jai (who I think feels enough customs have been broken in one film) declines. Mahesh comes up with this classic line.

"ye kaisaa laRkaa hai...ek drink to dushman ke saath lete hai.n"
"ये कैसा लड़का है...एक ड्रिंक तो दुश्मन के साथ लेते हैं"

A lot of friendships are formed over drinks and tobacco smoke. Having been a teetotaler and non-smoker all my life, I have missed out on a lot of such friendships. Did I write 'missed out on'? Changed that to 'spared of '.

jo log partyon meN alag thalag rehte haiN, woh aamtaur par bahut ziddii hote haiN

2009-09-10T22:35:00.001+05:30

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Teja (Ajit)

Spoken to : Mona (Bindu)

Teja is the crime don of the city. The new inspector in town is getting troublesome. Teja invites him to his party. A lavish party with booze and fine food flowing all around. He hopes to schmooze Vijay (Amitabh) into accepting his ways at this party. There is the typical cabaret number performed

"diljaloN kaa dil jalaa ke, kyaa milegaa dilrubaa"

After the song, Teja is talking with Mona. Teja says,

"acchhe khareedaar hamesha sauda karne se pehle, doosre kee qeemat kaa andaazaa lagaate haiN"

"अच्छे ख़रीदार हमेशा सौदा करने से पहले, दूसरे की क़ीमत का अन्दाज़ा लगाते हैं"

Mona asks him

"to kyaa andaazaa lagaayaa tumne"

Teja says,

"jahaaN tak meree zindagii kaa tajurbaa hai, jo log partyon meN alag thalag rehte haiN, woh aamtaur par bahut ziddii hote haiN"

"जहां तक मेरी ज़िन्दगी का तजरुबा है, जो लोग पार्टियों में अलग थलग रहते हैं, वो आमतौर पर बहुत ज़िद्दी होटल हैं"

I could not agree more with this. I myself am very stubborn and rarely mingle well at parties.

registaan me.n phool khilaa aur tu kehtaa hai colour kyaa hai!

2009-09-05T10:11:00.002+05:30

Film : Kabul Express
Year of release : 2006
Spoken by : Jai Kapoor (Arshad Warsi)
Spoken to : Suhel Khan (John Abraham)

Kabul Express is based on the real life, post 9/11 experiences of debutant director Kabir Khan and his colleague Rajan Kapoor. Kabir Khan retains the surnames for the two protagonists in the film. I would say it is a different film, but not something I would recommend (I have a reputation to uphold).

Jai and Suhel are having dinner in Kabul when Reuters reporter Jessica Beckham (Linda Arsenio) joins them. Jai starts telling her that they have seen a Talib. Suhel stops him from talking about it. When they leave Suhel rebukes Jai for having been indiscrete about such a vital piece of information. Jai says

"kyaa maal hai yaar. isko saath nahee.n le jaa sakte?"

An angry Suhel retorts,

"tuu to saale Tharkee hai, goree dekhte hee phisal gayaa"

Jai makes a faux-protest against this morality attack. He says,

"registaan me.n phool khilaa aur tu kehtaa hai colour kyaa hai! itne dino.n baad to laRkii dekhee hai"
"रेगिस्तान में फूल खिला और तू कहता है कलर क्या है! इतने दिनों बाद तो लड़की देखी है"

Gam to is cheez kaa hai ki paise aate nahee.n hai.n

2009-08-30T12:43:00.000+05:30

Film : Chashme Buddoor
Year of release : 1981
Spoken by : Lallan Miyaa (Saeed Jaffrey)
Spoken to : Jomo or Jai Lakhanpal (Ravi Baswani)

Omi (Rakesh Bedi), Jomo and Siddharth (Faarooque Sheikh) are three college students who share a room and thus ending up sharing a life as well. This is one of those rare movies that is almost entirely shot in Delhi.

In this scene, Jomo is running after a girl who he has spotted from his balcony. Lallan (who owns a paan shop) catches hold of him and physically drags him back to his shop. The three room mates buy cigarettes on credit from his shop and are constantly behindhand in paying. Thus he is rightly miffed. Jomo on the other hand is trying to mollify him. Lallan says,

"nikaal paise"
"निकाल पैसे"

Jomo says,

"aa jaayenge, aa jaayenge, Lallan Miyaa, paise kahee.n nahee.n jaate"
"आ जायेंगे, आ जायेंगे, लल्लन मियाँ, पैसे कहीं नहीं जाते"

Lallan comes up with this classic line,

"abe jaane kee kaun baat kar riyaa hai, Gam to is cheez kaa hai, ki paise aate nahee.n hai.n"
"अबे जाने की कौन बात कर रिया है, ग़म तो इस चीज़ का है, कि पैसे आते नहीं हैं"

I have worked as a recovery officer for a finance company and used to remember this line often.

vo aadmii paidaa nahee.n huaa...kabhii naa kabhii jiskii neeyat naa Dolee ho

2009-08-25T11:15:00.004+05:30

Film : Johny Mera Naam
Year of release : 1970
Spoken by : Tara (Padma Khanna)
Spoken to : Rai Sahab Bhupendra Singh (Prem Nath)

Tara is in love with Babu (Randhawa - Dara Singh's younger brother). Babu is a loyal henchman of Moti (Pran) and is entrusted with the money fetched from the sale of diamonds to deliver it to Rai Bhupinder Singh at his hideout near the Indian border.

But Babu makes plans to escape to Singapore with the money, along with his girlfriend Tara and start a new life there. Johny (Dev Anand) gets to know of it through a concealed microphone and betrays them to Moti. Moti takes the couple to Bhupinder Singh’s hideout where the leader orders his men to shoot Babu. Tara throws herself at Rai Sahab's mercy and asks that Babu be spared. Her defence of Babu's act is

"vo aadmii paidaa nahee.n huaa Rai Sahab, kabhii naa kabhii jiskii neeyat naa Dolee ho"

"वो आदमी पैदा नहीं हुआ राय साहब, कभी ना कभी जिसकी नीयत ना डोली हो"

I liked this line a lot because it reminded me of a national award winning Tamil film called "Sila NerangaLil Sila ManidargaL (சில நேரங்களில் சில மனிதர்கள்). I strongly recommend that movie if you liked this line.

Meanwhile, Rai Sahab agrees to let Babu go and takes Babu's girlfriend as his mistress. Tara realises much later that Rai Sahab actually killed Babu. Johny wins Moti’s trust and replaces Babu in the hierarchy and takes an important step towards reaching his goal, that of locating the gang leader and breaking the back bone of the gang.

bevaqoof parindaa daanaa to dekhtaa hai, phandaa nahee.n

2009-08-20T10:40:00.002+05:30

Film : Bobby
Year of release : 1973
Spoken by : Mr. Nath (Pran)
Spoken to : Mrs. Braganza (Durga Khote)

This was one of the first teeny-bopper films which spawned many more over the years.

Before going any further, I must say that it is strange how we are not told Pran's and Durga Khote's 'Christian' name in any dialogue. So throughout the film, Pran is Mr. Nath and Durga Khote is Mrs. Braganza. Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Mrs. Braganza was the governess of Raj before he is sent away to a boarding school. Later, her son Jack (Prem Nath) grows up to be rich and successful in the fisheries business. After the Braganza family comes to the Nath house to formalise the relation between Bobby (Dimple Kapadia) and Raj Nath (Rishi Kapoor). Sorry, to digress. But I just saw Rajnath Singh of BJP in my mind's eye while typing 'Raj Nath'. Couldn't help smiling.

So, the two parties meet. A cynical Mr. Nath still feels there is a class difference between the two families. He suggests that the Braganza family ensnared his son Raj in their trap. He goes on to say that though Raj is his son and thus the heir to his fortunes, but he is still a kid. He is trying to justify his son's actions by dubbing the entire thing as a planned move by the Braganza family. He says,

"bevaqoof parindaa daanaa to dekhtaa hai, phandaa nahee.n"
"बेवक़ूफ़ परिन्दा दाना तो देखता है, फन्दा नहीं"

jo aadmii apne naseeb ko kostaa rahtaa hai, uskaa naseeb bhii use koste rahte hai.N

2009-08-15T09:40:00.001+05:30

Film : Guide
Year of release : 1965
Spoken by : Raju (Dev Anand)
Spoken to : Rosie Marco (Waheeda Rehman)

Rosie takes an overdose of sleeping pills. Meanwhile, her husband Marco (Kishore Sahu) is away in the caves of Udaipur, exploring and excavating. Rosie does not die and as she is recovering, Raju goes and fetches Marco. Marco is very upset about having been called away from his passion - exploration of the caves. He accuses her of acting like this only to frustrate him. He says that if she actually intended to die, she would have taken a couple of more pills. He dares Rosie to commit suicide. Rosie runs out in a fit of anger and tries to jump into a lake. Raju, who is waiting outside, sees her and steps in to stop her from doing so. He also continues to follow her for a while, fearing she would attempt to do so again. Once the tension dies down, they start chatting and being the professional that he is, he starts explaining the view and the locales to her. He points to a small island in the lake which has a mausoleum dedicated to the king's dog. Rosie is surprised at the reference to 'kutte kee mazaar' (dog mausoleum). Raju says it was the king's beloved dog. Rosie sighs and comments that the dog was better off than her. Raju then turns around in what is now well-known as the 'Dev Anand style' and says

"jo aadmii apne naseeb ko kostaa rahtaa hai, uskaa naseeb bhii use koste rahte hai.N"
"जो आदमी अपने नसीब को कोसता रह्ता है, उसका नसीब भी उसे कोसते रहते हैं"

Guide is always referred to as a classic, though I am always reminded of the article titled 'Mis-guide' written by R K Narayan. I am also waiting to see the English version of Guide (which I am told is much shorter), but was never released in India. But then you take out Sachin Dev Burman's music from Guide, then what is left? I wonder!

yeh subah itnii jaldii kyo.N aa jaatee hai

2009-08-12T13:22:00.003+05:30

Film : Sharaabi
Year of release : 1984
Spoken by : Vicky Kapoor (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Munshi ji (Om Prakash)

Vicky Kapoor is a motherless boy, who has been brought up by Munshi ji, while Vicky's father Rai Sahab Amarnath Kapoor has been busy in 'business' meetings. As an aid to keeping him quiet as a baby, Rai Sahab has advocated the use of a 'capful' of brandy. The 'capful' turns into a 'glassful' and eventually a 'bottleful'. And Vicky grows up as a young man to be an alcoholic or 'Sharabi'. He keeps irregular hours - wakes up late and sleeps late. One such morning, after a long drunken night, when he is being woken up by Munshi ji (the trusted retainer), he complains and says

"munshi ji, yeh subah itnii jaldii kyo.N aa jaatee hai?"
"मुंशी जी, ये सुबह इतनी जल्दी क्यों आ जाती है?"

kuchh logoN ke iraade mazboot hote haiN...kuchh logoN ke iraade tum jaise log mazboot banaa dete haiN

2009-07-15T06:07:00.005+05:30

Film: Kabzaa
Year of release: 1988
Spoken by: Ustaad Ali Mohammad (Aalok Nath)
Spoken to: Veljibhai Soda (Paresh Rawal)

Ali Mohammad has been arrested by the Inspector (Avtar Gill) on a trumped up charge of possessing drugs. While he is waiting in the police station, Velji comes in to threaten him. As Velji is about to leave, Ali asks him to wait and says:

"kuchh logoN ke iraade mazboot hote haiN...kuchh logoN ke iraade tum jaise log mazboot banaa dete haiN"

"कुछ लोगों के इरादे मज़बूत होते हैं...कुछ लोगों के इरादे तुम जैसे लोग मज़बूत बना देते हैं"

This is an interesting film - scripted by Salman Khan's father Salim Khan in his second avatar. You can still see flashes of the old brilliance here and there. Overall the gore and senselessness that Mahesh Bhatt excels in, seeps through. But as I said, sometimes the brilliance of the writer also shines through.

kabhii aane ko kehtii hai, kabhii jaane ko kehtii hai

2009-07-10T06:24:00.001+05:30

Film: Sharaabi
Year of release : 1984
Spoken by : Vicky (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Munshi (Om Prakash)

I saw this film when I was moving into adoloscence. It was a big hit with me. I used to wake up at 3 in the morning and sing the songs of the film. I was quite besotted with everything about the film. Now when I look back, I wonder how I did not turn into an alcoholic given my level of enchantment with this film. But even now when I see this film, I see many lines which I have used time and again in my life - sometimes in jest, sometimes in seriousness.

Here is one of them.

Natwar Shah (Ranjeet) is dancer Meena's (Jaya Prada looking at her beautiful best) agent. He tries to hitch her up with wealthy patrons and get rich in the process. Vicky is one such target. Natwar goes to Vicky to sell him tickets of one of her dance shows. When Vicky sees Meena's photo - he is besotted with her. He buys all the tickets of the show. When Meena is about to start her performance, she sees only two people in the hall - Vicky and Munshiji. She is upset and conveys her feelings to Vicky. She feels that he has insulted an artiste by acting in this manner. Vicky apologises but also drops in some heavy dialogues about his being a patron who could genuinely appreciate her art and also applaud her more than a 1000 members in the audience could. As he is about to leave, Meena asks him to wait. A flustered Vicky says, in his characteristic style;

"bhai kamaal hai munshii jii, kabhii aane ko kehtee hai kabhee jaane ko kehtee hai"
"भइ कमाल है मुंशी जी, कभी आने को कहती है, कभी जाने को कहती है"

A line which can be used very effectively with your lover :)

jawaan laDkee bhee jaaydaad kee tarah hotee hai...donoN kaa ek ek rakhwaalaa honaa chaahiye

2009-07-05T20:22:00.002+05:30

Film: Man ka Meet
Year of release : 1968
Spoken by : Lala ji (Om Prakash)
Spoken to : Aarti (Leena Chandavarkar)

The claim to fame of this film is that this was the debut film of two people - one was Som Datt (Sunil Dutt's brother as hero, who was never heard of again) and Vinod Khanna (as villain and who later became a hero and then a sanyasi and then an MP).

Vinod Khanna really started looking his macho self from movies like Achanak. So here, he reminds you of Dharmendra in Dil Bhi Tera Hum Bhi Tere. In fact there is a dialogue in the film where the heroine Aarti (Leena Chandavarkar) tells him that he should not try to be a hero because he has a face more suited to being a villain.

Coming back to the dialogue, the 60s and 70s had a lot of these sexist dialogues, which seemed quite acceptable in that era. Today, I feel most people would take umbrage at such lines. But I am a sucker for metaphors and analogies and proverbs and what have you. This seemed to fit at least one of the above bills and hence I am featuring this line here.

Lala ji (Om Prakash), is a rich man and is the guardian of Aarti. He is worried about her marriage, whereas Aarti mouths the typical dialogue of that era - 'mujhe shaadi naheeN karnee' or ' abhii itnee jaldee kyaa hai'. And when Lala Ji tries to get her to consider marriage, he says

"jawaan laDkee bhee jaaydaad kee tarah hotee hai beTii...donoN kaa ek ek rakhwaalaa honaa zaroori hai"
"जवान लड़की भी जायदाद की तरह होती है बेटी...दोनों का एक एक रखवाला होना ज़रूरी है"

Jab tak baiThne ko naa kahaa jaaye sharaafat se khaDe raho

2009-06-30T18:38:00.004+05:30

Film : Zanjeer
Year of release : 1973
Spoken by : Inspector Vijay Khanna (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Sher Khan (Pran)

Read the earlier post before reading this.

Sher Khan casually moves towards the chair kept in front of Vijay with an intention of sitting in . Before Sher Khan can actually sit, something happens. The slow and deliberate movements of Sher Khan and the sitting form of Vijay do not allow you to be prepared for what follows. They are in stark contrast to the sudden explosion of energy. You can actually feel the 'angry young man' in what follows. Vijay jumps out of his chair and kicks away the chair with great alacrity. A stunned Sher Khan stands wondering what will follow next. What follows next is this great line penned by Salim-Javed.

"Jab tak baiThne ko naa kahaa jaaye sharaafat se khaDe raho"
"जब तक बैठने को ना कहा जाये शराफ़त से खडे रहो"

Even in normally civilised settings - in offices and at homes - you have unwanted visitors who drop in unexpectedly and try to get overly friendly. Your entire body and soul wishes them to go away. You would love it if you could kick the chair away (before they plonk themselves in it) and say

"जब तक बैठने को ना कहा जाये शराफ़त से खडे रहो"

Of course, it will never happen in reality. But you can watch this scene and replay it in your mind. It will surely make you smile.

is ilaaqe meN naye aaye ho saahab

2009-06-25T22:15:00.001+05:30

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Sher Khan (Pran)

Spoken to : Vijay Khanna (Amitabh Bachchan)

This is the scene where Sher Khan and Vijay Khanna share screen space for the first time.

Inspector Vijay has sent for Sher Khan. Sher Khan comes to the police station. This is their interaction -

"assalaam aalaikum Inspector. Hamaaraa Khushqismatii, tumhaare jaise baDe officer ne humko yaad kiyaa. Hamaare laayaq koee khidmat?"

"अस्सलाम आलेक़ुम इंस्पॅक्टर. हमारा ख़ुशक़िस्मती, तुम्हारे जैसे बडे ऑफ़िसर ने हमको याद किया. हमारे लायक़ कोई ख़िदमत? "

"tumhaaraa naam ...sher khan hai?"

"तुम्हारा नाम ... शेर ख़ान है?"

"is ilaaqe meN naye aaye ho saahab? varnaa sher khan ko kaun naheeN jaantaa. Khair...ab mulaaqaat ho gayee hai."

"इस इलाक़े में नये आये हो साहब? वर्ना शेर ख़ान को कौन नहीं जानता. ख़ैर...अब मुलाक़ात हो गयी है."
And then something else happens. That will follow in the next post.

bardaasht kii koii had naheeN hotee

2009-06-10T06:16:00.001+05:30

Film: Besharam
Year of release: 1978
Spoken by: Ramchandraji (A K Hangal)
Spoken to: Ram (Amitabh Bachchan)

A K Hangal should have debuted on this blog with that classic from Sholay "itnaa sannaaTaa kyoN haiN bhai". But as luck would have it, it is this line that marks his debut here.

Besharam is directed by Deven Verma and is one of Amitabh's weak films. This is the only film in which Amitabh plays the role of an LIC agent (probably explains the title :))

Pande (Jagdish Raj) is insulting his father Ramchandraji in Ram's presence. Tony (Imtiaz Khan) taunts Ram about his predicament. Ram goes and grabs Tony's collar. His father stops him. Ram angrily says

"Bardaasht kii bhii koii had hotee hai"
"बर्दाश्त की भी कोई हद होती है"

Ramchandraji very calmly responds:

"bardaasht kii koee had naheeN hotee...kuttaa agar aadmii ko kaaT le to aadmii kutte ko naheeN kaaTtaa"
"बर्दाश्त की कोई हद नहीं होती...कुत्ता अगर आदमी को काट ले तो आदमी कुत्ते को नहीं काटता"

Of course, as the film goes on to prove, that he was not quite right. But then this was an interesting line.

duniyaa meN sirf do hee sach haiN...ek haaN aur ek naa

2009-06-05T05:49:00.000+05:30

Film: Kabzaa

Year of release: 1988

Spoken by: Ustaad Ali Mohammad (Aalok Nath)

Spoken to: D'Souza (Deepak Quazir)

This is a film written by Salim Khan (Salman Khan's father) and directed by Mahesh Bhatt.

"Duniyaa meN sirf do hee sach haiN...ek haaN aur ek naa...baaqii sab hera pheri hai"

"दुनिया में सिर्फ़ दो ही सच हैं...एक हाँ और एक ना...बाक़ी सब हेरा फेरी है"

He says this when D'Souza tries to wiggle out of his promise of building a children's park after being threatened by Ranjit Verma (Raj Babbar).

Apun yeDaa akkhee duniyaa shaaNii, haiN?

2009-05-30T18:45:00.000+05:30

Film : Rangeela
Year of release : 1996
Spoken by : Munna (Aamir Khan)
Spoken to : Mili (Urmila Matondkar)

Many of the street smart Bambaiyya lines have been featured from this film earlier on this blog.

Both Milee and Munna are fighting after the ruckus at the theatre as that incident results in them not being able to see the movie Mr. Bond starring Milee’s favourite star Kamal.

Munna insists that it is not his fault. He says

"Arre kamaal hai, tere ko to har baat pe apnaa hee fault dikhtaa hai. Apun yeda akkhee duniyaa shaanee hain? "
"अरे कमाल है, तेरे को तो हर बात पर अपना ही फ़ॉल्ट दिखता है. अपुन येड़ा अक्खी दुनिया शानी, हैं?

baap kii kamaaii naheeN paap kee kamaaii hai

2009-05-25T21:34:00.001+05:30

Film : Phool aur Patthar
Year of release : 1966
Spoken by : Sarju (OP Ralhan)
Spoken to : Fatso (his gangmember)

Sarju is distributing the loot equally among his gang members after a 'jhamoora' performance. So each gang member gets 1 re 81 paise (har di har har). A 'jhamoora' performance is one, where there is a ringmaster kind of character - the ustaad, who prompts his protege - the jhamoora, with questions. The protege responds and does some acts which together provide entertainment to the collected audience. But Sarju also used this as a ruse to pick the pockets of the members of the audience.

When Fatso protests-

"kamaal hai ustaad , do chhataank aadmi ke liye 1 re 81 paise aur mere liye bhee'

Sarju says ' kam khaayaa kar' and follows that up with

"baap kee kamaai nahee paap kee kamaaii hai sab ko baraabar kaa hissa milegaa"

"बाप की कमाई नहीं पाप की कमाई है, सब को बराबर का हिस्सा मिलेगा"

dekhaa bhii naheeN ke gaay hai ya bail aur loTaa leke duhne baiTh gayaa

2009-05-15T16:38:00.002+05:30

Film : Jaagte Raho
Year of release : 1956
Spoken by : Shashaank Bhaiyya (Anon)
Spoken to : Chandu (Iftekhar)

Jaagte Raho is one of the better films of Raj Kapoor. Of course, he tries to irritate the hell out of me like always, but somehow holds my attention. It is the simple story of a village simpleton who comes to the city and is thirsty and looks for water. He is thought by a policeman to be a thief and is chased into a housing compound and there he hides in one house after the other and keeps looking for water. He does not find any water, but he does find the level of debasement and corruption in the lives of these 'bourgeouise'.

crocin ko maanne meN aur bhagwaan ko maanne meN kyaa farq hai

2009-05-10T22:05:00.001+05:30

Film : Phoonk

Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Manja (Zakir Husain)

Spoken to : Rajiv (Sudeep)

Kannada star Sudeep stars in this Ramgopal Varma film which dared anyone in the audience to watch the film alone in a theatre. I thought the film was not scare at all. But I will grant you this, I have a strong heart. I will also grant you that the performance by some actors was very credible.

Quickly, this is the story of an atheist who is forced to believe. As the story approaches its climax, the tantric Manja asks Rajiv, if he is an atheist.

Rajiv replies in the affirmative. Manja asks him the reason. Rajiv says he doesn't know, and follows up with a rhetorical question - What is God?

Manja looks at him and asks him if he pops a Crocin when he is suffering from fever. Rajiv says yes. Manja asks him how does he know what is Crocin and that it will cure him. Doesn't he just 'believe' in the doctor when he asks him to pop a Crocin. And then the punchline

"Crocin ko maanne meN aur bhagwaan ko maanne meN kyaa farq hai"

"क्रोसिन को मानने में और भागवान को मानने में क्या फर्क़ है?"

kuttaa jab paagal ho jaataa hai to use golee maar dete haiN

2009-05-05T21:50:00.000+05:30

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Seth Dharam Dayal Teja (Ajit)

Spoken to : Patil (Sapru)

Vijay i.e. Amitabh's father Ranjit is a felon who wants to mend his ways. After being released from jail (read this entry), Ranjit goes to his employers (DD and Patil) and says he will no longer do this work and wants to go straight. DD tells Patil that he is wondering how many years jail they will get if Ranjit were to go to the police and turn an approver. An angry Patil says Ranjit has gone mad. DD aka Ajit comes up with his Ajitism.

"kuttaa jab paagal ho jaataa hai to use golee maar dete haiN"

"कुत्ता जब पागल हो जाता है तो उसे गोली मार देते हैं"

kyonki chori ki yaari aur chori ki savaari kabhee kabhee karnee chaahiye

2009-04-30T18:04:00.003+05:30

Film : Kuchche Dhaage
Year of release : 1973
Spoken by : Roopa (Kabir Bedi)
Spoken to : Laakhan (Vinod Khanna)

This was another of those dacoit films of the 70s. Must have been a very angry country at that time. But what I found interesting was the spelling of the film. The film was spelt on its print and posters as 'Kuchhe Dhaage' which I would read as 'Threads of Underwear' in this form (कच्छे धागे) as against the actual meaning of 'Weak Threads'.

Anyways the film has two dacoit gangs - one a Brahmin gang and the other was a Rajput gang. The chieftains of both gangs viz., Roopa and Laakhan come together in the climax to ensure the wedding of their beloved.

When both of them are fighting together against the police and enjoying a banter about their horses. They both had stolen each others horses. Laakhan asks Roopa, if he rides his white horse. Roopa says
"kabhi kabhi"
Laakhan asks
"kabhi kabhi kyon?"

Roopa comes up with an interesting answer
"kyonki chori ki yaari aur chori ki savaari kabhee kabhee karnee chaahiye"
"क्योंकि चोरी कि यारी और चोरी की सवारी कभी कभी करनी चाहिये"

I quite like this wonderful rules that brigands and dacoits come up with.

But do you know that a movie which has Vinod Khanna and Kabir Bedi running after Moushmi Chatterjee, who does she go and marry. Some guy called Ritesh. But then that is what Moushmi would have wanted, after all Ritesh was just the screen name of her real life husband Jayanto Mukherjee (singer Hemant Kumar's son)

sar salaamat to pagDee pachaas

2009-04-25T21:38:00.001+05:30

Film : C Kkompany

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Ramakant Joshi (Anupam Kher)

Spoken to : Purushottam (Nikhil Ratnaparkhi)

A group of three neighbours come together as C Kkompany to play out their wildest power dreams. Lambodar Jha (Rajpal Yadav) calls up as a don from C Kkompany and threatens Purushottam (who is a builder) with dire consequences if he refuses to pay up. Ramakant and Akshay Kumar (Tusshar Kapoor) try and convince Purushottam to agree to the don's demands. Akshay says that one should not take such threats lightly. Ramakant follows that up with a classic line

"सर सलामत तो पगड़ी पचास"

There is a famous saying in Hindi - 'jaan hai to jahaan hai". This line also captures the same thought in a slightly fresher way.

kabhii kabhii ye kaam bhee karnaa chaahiye

2009-04-20T20:38:00.000+05:30

Film : Sholay

Year of release : 1975

Spoken by : Jay (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Veeru (Dharmendra)

Veeru and Basanti (Hema Malini) are now a proper romantic couple. Veeru wants Jay to go to Basanti's mausee (aunt) and ask for Basanti's hand. Jay is very skeptical of Veeru's 'love' and his desire to 'marry'. See how the scene opens.

Veeru : Jay...

Jay : hmmm...

Veeru : aaj maine kuchh sochaa hai...

Jay : hmm...kabhii kabhii ye kaam bhee karnaa chaahiye

The sardonic Jay is heaping scorn on Veeru and his ability to think. I do loads of this 'kaam' and wish more people in this world would do so too. :)

As Jay says,

हम्म... कभी कभी ये काम भी करना चाहिये

gaaranTee? MaiN aapko paNkhaa bech rahaa hooN?

2009-04-15T17:08:00.001+05:30

Film : A Wednesday
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Common Man (Naseeruddin Shah)
Spoken to : Prakash Rathod (Anupam Kher)

Naseer has asked for the four terrorists to be transported to an unused runway near Juhu Airbase. He has laid out his requirements very very clearly. Prakash asks him that what is the guarantee that he would defuse all bombs once the requests are complied with.

A very very disdainful tone comes into the Common Man's voice when he says

"gaaranTee? maiN aapko paNkhaa bech rahaa hooN?"

"गारंटी? मैं आपको पंखा बेच रहा हूं?"

kuchh aadmiyoN kee kamzoree iimaandaaree hotii hai

2009-04-10T21:54:00.001+05:30

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : DD Teja (Ajit)

Spoken to : Mona (Bindu)

When Mona cribs to Teja that Inspector Vijay Khanna does not accept any bribes, Dharam Dayal Teja says
"Mona jis tarah kuchh aadmiyoN kii kamzoree beimaanee hotee hai usee tarah kuchh aadmiyon kee kamzoree imaandaaree hotee hai"

"मोना जिस तरह कुछ आदमियों की कमज़ोरी बेईमानी होती है, उसी तरह कुछ आदमियों की कमज़ोरी ईमानदारी होती है "