aur meri bhee tabeeyat kucchh Theek naheen rahtii

Film : Mere Apne

Year of release : 1971

Spoken by : Biloki Prasad (Asit Sen)

Spoken to : Audience at political meeting

Dialogue writer : Gulzar

It is election time and the two rival candidates are Biloki Prasad and Anokhe Lal (Mehmood). The former is assisted by Shyam (Vinod Khanna) and the latter by Chhainoo (Shatrughan Sinha). Asit Sen, who is normally parodied by most mimicry artistes for his peculiar style of dialogue delivery and his girth, is also a very good actor with excellent comic timing. See this film (or rather this scene), for evidence  of that. So in this political meeting, our great politician starts speaking. And what does he say,

"bhaiyo aur behno desh ke bahut bure din aa gaye hain"

"भाईओ और बहनो, देश के बहुत बुरे दिन आ गए हैं"

"aaj hamaare beech panDit jee naheen hain ...neta ji naheen hain...gandhiji naheen hain..."

"आज हमारे बीच पंडित जी नहीं हैं...नेता जी नहीं हैं...गान्धी जी नहीं हैं..."

Then he takes a pause for effect and delivers the punch line. 

"aur meri bhee tabeeyat kucchh Theek naheen rahtii"

"और मेरी भी तबीयत कुछ ठीक नहीं रहती"

Asit Sen's delivery of this line has made this line walk into this blog. Otherwise I generally avoid joke punchlines. 

This is also a famous technique used in sales - called equation by association. If one goes to buy a TV,  the shopkeeper will say something like...

Sir this is Sony TV. Costs 20k. This is Panasonic. Costs 19.5k. And this is Pappu TV. This costs 16k. 

aaye to usse keh denaa Chhainuu aayaa thaa

Film : Mere Apne

Year of release : 1971

Spoken by : Chhainuu Laal  (Shatrughan Sinha)

Spoken to : Anandi Devi (Meena Kumari)
Dialogue writer : Gulzar

This is an all time classic line. The film is not so great. A remake of Tapan Sinha's Apon Jon. A youthful Shatru (Gambler is another film where you can see him at his youthful best, but this is a bigger role) and the very handsome Vinod Khanna pitted against each other.

Billoo (Dinesh Thakur) was abducted by Raghu (Asrani) who is part of the rival Chhainoo gang. Shyam (Vinod Khanna) goes and rescues him. Later Raghu is rounded up by Billoo and team, but they run away after seeing naani maa or Anandi (Meena Kumari). She takes Raghu home and tends to his wounded leg.

Since she stays in what is a  known hideout of Shyam's gang, Chhainoo and gang land up there to rescue Raghu. The moment he goes in, Raghu stands up and blurts out

"Chhainoo...Billoo .. aur uske saath do aur bhee the"
"छैनू...बिल्लू...और उसके साथ दो और भी थे"

Anandi  says,

"dost hai teraa?... aa baiTh"
"दोस्त है तेरा? ....आ बैठ"

A very angry Chhainoo says

"shaam kahaa.n hai"
"शाम कहां है?"

Anandi who has not really wisened up to the gangwars, naively says

"dekh naa beTe... ye laDke bahut laDte hain aapas me.n...tu to baDaa hai inme.n... inko samjhaataa kyo.n nahee.n...jaane kis baat pe kaTTi kiye baiThe hai.n...too baTTi karaa degaa to ye nahee.n laDenge"
"देख ना बेटे...ये लडके बहुत लडते हैं आपस में...तू तो बडा है इनमें...इनको समझाता क्यों नहीं...जाने किस बात पे कट्टी किये बैठे हैं...तू बट्टी करा देगा तो ये नहीं लडेंगे"

Though Chhainoo is surprised at this warmth, he still persists with

"shaam kahaa.n hai"
"शाम कहां है?"

"wo to biTToo ko lekar dawaakhaane gayaa hai"
"वो तो बिट्टू को लेकर दवाखाने गया है"

"aaye to usse keh denaa chhainoo aayaa thaa...bahut garmee hai khoon me.n to beshaq aa jaaye maidaan me.n..jo hasrat nikaalnee ho wo nikaal le wo, lekin aaindaa...mere kisii laDke ko haath lagaayaa to muhalle kaa muhallaa uDaa ke rakh doo.nga"
"आये तो उससे कह देना छैनू आया था...बहुत ग़र्मी है ख़ून में तो बेशक़ आ जाये मैदान में ...जो हसरत निकालनी हो वो निकाल ले वो...लेकिन आइन्दा मेरे किसी लडके को हाथ लगाया तो मुहल्ले का मुहल्ला उडा के रख दूंगा"

The trade mark rub of the left side of the neck with the right hand today defines any sketch of Shatrughan Sinha. And yes this dialogue too...though many artists use a variant of this 

"Shyaam se kehnaa Chhainoo aayaa thaa. "

But the actual line is,

"aaye to usse keh denaa Chhainuu aayaa thaa"

"आये तो उससे कह देना छैनू आया था"