ham jab aayenge to garmii thoDii baRh hee jaayegi, pataa chal hee jaayega

Film: Bullett Raja
Year of release: 2013
Spoken by: Raja Misra (Saif Ali Khan)
Spoken to: Ram Babu Shukla (Raj Babbar)
Dialogue writer: Tigmanshu Dhulia

dada ham jab aayenge to garmii thoDii baRh hee jaayegi, pataa chal hee jaayega bullett raja

beTaa tumse naa ho paayegaa

Film: Gangs of Wasseypur

Year of release: 2012

Spoken by: Raamaadhiir Singh (Tigmanshu Dhulia)

Spoken to: His son J P Singh (Satyakam Anand)

Dialogue writer: Zeeshaan Qadri

The politician of Waaseypur is Mr. Ramadhir Singh. He believes the country will remain backward as long as the cinema thrives here. In one scene, his son comes and tells him about a gangland killing, while he is sitting with some respectable folks. Ramadhir dismisses him from his presence and later goes and scolds him for bringing up their gang connections openly. 

And then suddenly he remembers that he had been missing from home on the night before. So he asks,

RS: aur kal raat ko kahaan the?

JPS: sineemaa dekhne gaye the

RS: kaunsaa sineemaa?

JPS: dilwaale dulhaniyaa le jaayenge

And then comes the dialogue that has caught everybody's fancy

betaa...tumse naa ho paayegaa...hame.n tumhaare lachchan bilkul Thiik nahiin lag rahe hai.n, tumse naa ho paayegaa

बेटा...तुमसे ना हो पायेगा ...हमें तुम्हारे लच्छन बिलकुल ठीक नहीं लग रहे हैं, तुमसे ना हो पायेगा. 

iskii aatmaa bahut light sleep letii hai, baar baar jaag jaatee hai

Film : Shagird 

Year of release : 2011

Spoken by : Hanumant Singh (Nana Patekar)

Spoken to : Mohit Kumar (Mohit Ahlawat)

Dialogue writer : Tigmanshu Dhulia/Kamal Pandey 

Hanumant has decided to eliminate the crack dealer Ali, since he has become an embarrassment to his political bosses. He traps Ali and then orders Mohit to shoot him. 

Mohit refuses to shoot Ali (Vishwajeet Pradhan). He says "I am not a waiter to take wrong orders".

An exasperated Hanumant responds with this line -

"are yaar iskii aatmaa bahut light sleep letii hai, baar baar jaag jaatee hai"

"अरे यार इसकी आत्मा बहुत लाइट स्लीप लेती है, बार बार जाग जाती है"

Dar mat beTaa ye pulis kee vardii me.n pulis hee hai

Film : Paan Singh Tomar

Year of release : 2012

Spoken by : Inspector Rathore (Zakir Hussain)

Spoken to : Kidnapped boy (Unknown)

Dialogue writer : Tigmanshu Dhulia

This is a very good film and if you have not seen it you must.

Paan Singh Tomar has established himself as a famous dacoit, or 'baaGii' as he calls himself. He has now started the profitable activity of kidnapping for ransom. He is in cahoots with the police of many states and sometimes actually carries out assignments on their behalf! On such assignments they actually don the uniforms of the police forces. 

Inspector Rathore is chasing this dreaded dacoit and in one such operation manages to rescue a young boy who has been kidnapped.

He dresses up as a shepherd or goatherd and stops an Ambassador car (suspected to be the vehicle carrying the kidnapped boy) using his goats to block the road. Then he walks up to the car and shoots all the occupants dead. The other policemen come running. They open the 'dickie' or the boot of the car and find the boy trussed up there. The boy sees a lot of policemen and a shepherd standing before him and is very scared and confused. Inspector Rathore is still in mufti. He looks at him and says,

"Dar mat beTaa ye pulis kee vardii me.n pulis hee hai"

"डर मत बेटा ये पुलिस की वर्दी में पुलिस ही है"

By the way, there are lots of instances in metros where thugs wearing police uniforms con senior citizens. So it is always better to make sure by asking for some kind of id. Or making a confirmation call to 100 or 911 or whatever emergency number you call in your country. Nothing is what it seems anymore. 

LaDkaa pyaar to kartaa hai, surakshaa nahee.n de saktaa

Film : Haasil

Year of release : 2003

Spoken by : Ranvijay Singh (Irfan Khan)

Spoken to : Aniruddh Sharma (Anni) [Jimmy Shergill]

Dialogue writer : Tigmanshu Dhulia

One of my friends pointed out to me the fact that my blog doesn't feature any Irfan dialogue yet. I thought I must correct this with that dialogue (rather than conversation) which left a deep impact on me. I am an otherwise sane person, but if someone would have come and spoken to me the way Ranvijay did, I would have gone for the gun too. Irfan really made an impact with this film. Maqbool had too many people vying for the honours. 

The story has a sweet boy Anni who is in love with Niharika (Hrishita Bhatt - another favourite of mine). However, one of his rendezvous' with his lady love is interrupted by her brothers who bash him up. He goes to Ranvijay for solace and guidance. And this is what Ranvijay tells him, 

लडकी जो है, आदमी से प्यार करती है, और आदमी में अगर वीरता नहीं है, तो आदमी आदमी नहीं है.

लडकी के सामने उन लौंडों ने तुमको मारा और तुमने कुछ नहीं किया, तो लडकी समझेगी, 

"कि लडका प्यार तो करता है, सुरक्षा नहीं दे सकता"

"laDkaa pyaar to kartaa hai, surakshaa nahee.n de saktaa"

समझे. एक काम करो. लडकी के बाप को तो रहने दो. लेकिन उन दोनों लौंडों से हिसाब पूरा करो. निहारिका को लगे तो, उसका अन्नी आदमी है, ऐसे ही भोला भाला बबुवा नहीं है ख़ाली.

क्या करोगे?

Anni says,

करेंगे क्या? मारेंगे सालों को!

Ranvijay hands him a gun and lays the finishing touch to his advice with this line. 

ये रख लो. दिखाना, ख़ाली दिखाना, फट जायेगी, हौंक हौंक के मारना, दौडा दौडा के मारना सालों को. और सुनो! सुनो, आर्टिस्ट, जान से ना मार देना. हैं! इतना मारना, इतना मारना, कि तुम्हारी जान को लगे, कि तुममे जान है. सही कहा कि नहीं. 

"itnaa maarnaa, itnaa maarnaa, ki tumhaarii jaan ko lage, ki tumme jaan hai"

vo to aaloo hai sabhee khaate hain

Film : Shagird 

Year of release : 2011

Spoken by : Hanumant Singh (Nana Patekar)

Spoken to : Mohit Kumar (Mohit Ahlawat)

Dialogue writer : Tigmanshu Dhulia/Kamal Pandey 

Senior inspector Hanumant is getting acquainted with new recruit Mohit. He does this with typical Delhi University style ragging. 

A mixture of some questions and some activities. One of his questions is,

"aur kyaa shauq paalte ho?"

Mohit says,

"cricket kheltaa hoo.n sir"

Hanumant responds in classic Nana style

"cricket me.n kyaa Khaas hai. vo to aaloo hai, sabhee khaate hai.n"

"क्रिकेट में क्या ख़ास है. वो तो आलू है, सभी खाते हैं."

The ragging continues after that, but I quite liked the likening of a very common thing to potatoes in this manner. Of course, Nana's style makes the line sound better. 

And Shaagird was certainly more watchable than all the 100 crore movies of 2011 put together. These days when I have to damn a movie, shred it to pieces – all I tell my friends is that this is a 100 crores grosser. ZNMD doesn’t do 100 crores, but Bodyguard, Ready, Ra One, Don 2 and Agnipath do! So next time I refer to a movie as a 100 crores grosser – read between the lines :)