ab paanch saal ke liye paagalo.n ko hukumat karne deejiye

Film : Pratighat

Year of release : 1987

Spoken by : Karamveer (Nana Patekar)

Spoken to : Election officer (Unknown)

Dialogue writer : Jalees

Karamveer was an honest constable who arrests the local goon Kaali (Charan Raj) in a smuggling case. Kaali comes out and abducts Karamveer's wife. She is raped and murdered by Kaali. Karamveer loses his mental balance and becomes a mad cop who find solace in regulating the town's traffic. When Kaali announces his nomination for the election, Karamveer lands up at the election office to file his nomination. This is the exchange between him and the polling officer.

"main chunaav ladnaa chaahtaa hoon kaali ke khilaaf. ye rahee meri arzii."

Polling officer (PO) : "baahar jaao"

Karamveer : "kyun jaaoon?"

PO: "kyonki paagal chunaav naheen laD sakte"

Karamveer : "duniya kee har mahaan hasti ko logon ne pahle paagal hee samjhaa hai. aapki koi galati naheen hai . {PO pushes him at this point} dhakka mat maaro. agar main kal mantri ho gayaa to inheen haathon se salaam karnaa padega."

PO : "Prakaash havaldaar ko bulaao."

Karamveer : "haan bulaao bulaao woh to sab mere saathi hain."

Then he takes a pause and comes up with this great line. It left a great impression on me as a kid. Putting it up on this blog now.  

"ek baat bataaoo.n. aaj tak buddhimaan logo.n ne raaj kar ke janata ko hamesha paagal banaa diyaa hai. hain... hai naa? ab paanch saal ke liye paagalo.n ko hukumat karne deejiye. sirf paanch saal. phir dekho chaaro.n taraf shanti hee shaanti."

With non traditional options coming up on the Indian electoral front too, this can be a very convincing appeal for people to vote for them (if all else fails) :).

 

Bas dil ko tasalli dene ke liye achchha lafz hai ...Dilli

Film : Tiranga

Year of release : 1992

Spoken by : Shivajirao Wagle (Nana Patekar)

Spoken to : Central Minister Jeevanlal Tandel (Manohar Singh) and DSP (Sujit Kumar)

Dialogue writer : KK Singh

There are so many probes being ordered these days from Delhi, that I remembered this powerful line from a Nana Patekar film. This was a time when Nana was on song. Most of his films sold because of him. 

After a carnage, Minister Jeevanlal tries to assuage a fuming Wagle by saying he will conduct a 'nyaayik jaanch' (a judicial enquiry) from Delhi. When Wagle hears this, he loses his cool and shouts in characteristically cynical Nana style.

"nyaayik jaanch karegi dilli huh! andhi aur behri dilli! yeh dilli bas mu.nh hai isliye paTar paTar kartii rahtii hai - yeh karnaa hai, yeh honaa chaahiye. hame.n dikhaanaa hai. bas dil ko tasalli dene ke liye achchha lafz hai ...dilli..."

"न्यायिक जांच करेगी दिल्ली हह! अन्धी और बहरी दिल्ली! ये दिल्ली बस मुंह है, इसलिये पटर पटर करती रहती है - ये करना है, ये होना चाहिये. हमें दिखाना है. बस दिल को तसल्ली देने के लिये अच्छा लफ़्ज़ है...दिल्ली..."

iskii aatmaa bahut light sleep letii hai, baar baar jaag jaatee hai

Film : Shagird 

Year of release : 2011

Spoken by : Hanumant Singh (Nana Patekar)

Spoken to : Mohit Kumar (Mohit Ahlawat)

Dialogue writer : Tigmanshu Dhulia/Kamal Pandey 

Hanumant has decided to eliminate the crack dealer Ali, since he has become an embarrassment to his political bosses. He traps Ali and then orders Mohit to shoot him. 

Mohit refuses to shoot Ali (Vishwajeet Pradhan). He says "I am not a waiter to take wrong orders".

An exasperated Hanumant responds with this line -

"are yaar iskii aatmaa bahut light sleep letii hai, baar baar jaag jaatee hai"

"अरे यार इसकी आत्मा बहुत लाइट स्लीप लेती है, बार बार जाग जाती है"

vo to aaloo hai sabhee khaate hain

Film : Shagird 

Year of release : 2011

Spoken by : Hanumant Singh (Nana Patekar)

Spoken to : Mohit Kumar (Mohit Ahlawat)

Dialogue writer : Tigmanshu Dhulia/Kamal Pandey 

Senior inspector Hanumant is getting acquainted with new recruit Mohit. He does this with typical Delhi University style ragging. 

A mixture of some questions and some activities. One of his questions is,

"aur kyaa shauq paalte ho?"

Mohit says,

"cricket kheltaa hoo.n sir"

Hanumant responds in classic Nana style

"cricket me.n kyaa Khaas hai. vo to aaloo hai, sabhee khaate hai.n"

"क्रिकेट में क्या ख़ास है. वो तो आलू है, सभी खाते हैं."

The ragging continues after that, but I quite liked the likening of a very common thing to potatoes in this manner. Of course, Nana's style makes the line sound better. 

And Shaagird was certainly more watchable than all the 100 crore movies of 2011 put together. These days when I have to damn a movie, shred it to pieces – all I tell my friends is that this is a 100 crores grosser. ZNMD doesn’t do 100 crores, but Bodyguard, Ready, Ra One, Don 2 and Agnipath do! So next time I refer to a movie as a 100 crores grosser – read between the lines :)

Aaj kal biscuit ko bhee Parle jee kehte haiN

Time for that motor mouth Nana Patekar to make his debut on this blog.

I come across a lot of people who when talking to young girls routinely make statements like

"jee lagaane kee koee zaroorat nahee hai aap mujhe sirf 'ravi' keh saktee haiN".

They never make such statements when talking with men. A very good line to use in such a situation is featured in this post. This is from the 2008 movie Welcome. Uday Shetty (Nana Patekar) is a don who is trying to get his sister Sanjana (Katrina Kaif) married. But his reputation always precedes him and strikes a telling blow to the prospective alliance. Dr Ghunghroo (Paresh Rawal) has been threatened by another goon Majnu (Anil Kapoor) who has asked him for Rs 5 crores as protection money or haftaa. He goes to Uday Shetty for succour. Uday immediately sends for Majnu and the moment Majnu arrives, Uday chastises him for having harassed Dr Ghunghroo.

Uday: Ghunghroo jee mere...

Dr Ghunghroo: jee??...jee mat kahiye

Uday: arre aise kaise. aajkal biskuT ko bhee Parle jee kehte hain... aap to itne nek haiN

So when faced with any situation as mentioned earlier, or in any situation where you are facing faux respect, you can use this line.

अरे ऐसे कैसे ...आजकल बिस्कुट को भी पार्ले जी कहते हैं ... आप तो इतने नेक हैं