I explain NEVER

 Film: Bulundi

Year of release : 1981

Spoken by : Professor Satish Khurana (Raaj Kumar)

Spoken to : Principal (Nitin Sethi)

Dialogue writer : Moinuddin

Raaj Kumar was one of the breed of originals in Bollywood. He was original - even when being ungrammatical. This is a story about a Professor (played by Raaj Kumar) who is approached by some rich men to mend the ways of their wayward sons. He accepts the challenge and does the seemingly impossible job. You can see a very young Rakesh Bedi and Gulshan Grover as college students here and Danny (in probably) the only double role of his career. Raaj Kumar is verbose and bombastic for the most part. He is accused of leaking exam papers to his pupils. The principal (Nitin Sethi) demands an explanation. Prof Khurana responds with

"I don't explain. मैं एक जागे ज़मीर का इंसान हूँ sir. तशरीह मुल्ज़िम...या बुज़्दिल देते हैं. I explain NEVER."

The word 'tashreeh' of course means explanation. Raaj Kumar was also fond of intimidating the antagonists with chaste Urdu. Why use bullets when you can use Urdu? Also his style of emphasising on 'never' by placing it at the end of the sentence is most droll. 

A film that will always rank among Danny's top ten performances. And Danny of course is one of the most under rated actors of Bollywood. 

So next time your boss calls you into a cabin and wishes to read the riot act to you; tell your boss, you are one whose conscience is wide awake and such people explain - NEVER. :)

Watch the clip here

https://youtu.be/excWCHfH-_8?si=G9VHyT_7d37o4Kio&t=4017

The time stamp is 1 hour 7 minutes

Watch my video on this dialogue here

ise kehte hain gangaajal mein gangaa poojaa

Film: Naram Garam

Year of release: 1981

Spoken by: Vishnuprasad (AK Hangal)

Spoken to: Bhawani Shankar Bajpai (Utpal Dutt)

Dialogue writer: Dr Rahi Masoom Raza

Bhawani Shankar goes to his village house to evict the Father-daughter duo who are illegally occupying his house. Vishnuprasad comes out to greet him and welcome him. 

Bhawani Shankar asks him to leave immediately. Vishnuprasad agrees but says, 

"aap mehmaan hain, mehmaan ka svaagat karnaa hamaara dharm hai. hamen apnaa dharm to nibhaa lene dijiye. aap baiThiye to sahi."

"main bhi kyaa, aapka makaan aur aap hi ko baiThne ke liye keh rahaa hoon. Ise kehte hain gangaajal mein gangaa poojaa."

"मैं भी क्या, आपका मकान और आप ही को बैठने के लिए कह रहा हूँ. इसे कहते हैं गंगाजल में गंगा पूजा"

1 hr 32 min into the film. 

ek dum fresh approach rahegaa

Film : Chashme Buddoor

Year of release : 1981

Spoken by : Jomo or J Lakhanpal (Ravi Baswani)

Spoken to : Neha Rajan (Deepti Naval)

Dialogue writer : Sai Paranjpe

One of my all time favourite films. The two philandering friends Jomo and Omi have noticed a new girl in their locality and they are going to take turns to try to woo her. Who will try first - this question is decided by a pack of cards. As Omi says - Jiskii mem uskee game, i.e. whosoever draws a queen first gets to try first. Omi gets that chance and messes it up. Now it is Jomo's turn. He goes to Neha's house as an asst. director and says he has seen her in a play held at Daulat Ram College. Neha smiles and says 

"maine aaj tak stage par qadam nahee.n rakhaa"

To Jomo's credit he does not flinch a bit and come back with a great line. He says

"tab to aur bhee achchhe. ek dum fresh approach rahegaa"

"तब तो और भी अच्छे. एक दम फ़्रेश अप्रोच रहेगा" 

So if you are a rank novice at something, you can present that as a virtue by using this line. Well if I was to be interviewed for the post of India's prime ministership, that'd be a good line to use :)

ahl-e-zabaan is cheez ko to.nd hee kehte hai.n

Film : Naram Garam 

Year of release : 1981

Spoken by : Seth Salaamat Hussain Khaan (T P Jain)

Spoken to : Bhawani Shankar Bajpai (Utpal Dutt)

Dialogue writer : Dr. Rahi Masoom Raza

The one scene that I will never forget in this film is the 'kusi beTii eee' scene of Utpal and Swaroop. But for the moment, I will let that be. The line on hand refers to a lesser known actor called TP Jain. If you have seen Angoor you will remember him as the jeweller who insists that he be paid since it is eleven o clock. But if you don't remember that, you might as well see this film. 

Naram Garam tried to recreate the Golmaal magic - Hrishida might actually have called it Golmaal Returns :) - but it did not work that well. But it was an enjoyable film nonetheless. 

In the film Utpal Dutt is a widower who suddenly develops the desire to get married (thanks to some astrological beliefs and incitement), but since the girl who he is marrying (Swaroop Sampat partly dubbed by Farida Jalal) is almost 40 years younger, he tries to keep everything hush hush. So the tailor who comes to take the measurement for the sherwani (played by TP Jain) is asked to lock the door behind him. The tailor is suddenly very suspicious (his look is a classic), but being a professional he stands his ground. While taking the measurements, the inevitable waist measurement happens. Salaamat writes down the measurement as 'tond' - a reference to the generous paunch. Bhawani protests, to which Salaamat retorts

'ab is cheez ko kamar keh kar allah paak kee tauheen to nahee.n kar saktaa naa huzoor. ahl-e-zabaan is cheez ko to.nd hee kehte hai.n"

"अब इस चीज़ को कमर कह कर अल्लाह पाक की तौहीन तो नहीं कर सकता ना हुज़ूर. अहल-ए-ज़बान इस चीज़ को तोंद ही कहते हैं"

I explain NEVER

Film: Bulundi

Year of release : 1981

Spoken by : Professor Satish Khurana (Raaj Kumar)

Spoken to : Principal (Nitin Sethi)

Raaj Kumar was one of the breed of originals in Bollywood. He was original - even when being ungrammatical. This is a story about a Professor (played by Raaj Kumar) who is approached by some rich men to mend the ways of their wayward sons. He accepts the challenge and does the seemingly impossible job. You can see a very young Rakesh Bedi and Gulshan Grover as college students here and Danny (in probably) the only double role of his career. Raaj Kumar is verbose and bombastic for the most part. He is accused of leaking exam papers to his pupils. The principal (Nitin Sethi) demands an explanation. Prof Khurana responds with

"I never explain. मैं जागे ज़मीर का इंसान हूँ. तशरीह मुल्ज़िम या बुज़्दिल किया करते हैं. I explain NEVER."

The word 'tashreeh' of course means explanation. Raaj Kumar was also fond of intimidating the antagonists with chaste Urdu. Why use bullets when you can use Urdu? Also his style of emphasising on 'never' by placing it at the end of the sentence is most droll. 

A film that will always rank among Danny's top ten performances. And Danny of course is one of the most under rated actors of Bollywood. 

So next time your boss calls you into a cabin and wishes to read the riot act to you; tell your boss, you are one whose conscience is wide awake and such people explain - NEVER. :)

Gam to is cheez kaa hai ki paise aate nahee.n hai.n

Film : Chashme Buddoor
Year of release : 1981
Spoken by : Lallan Miyaa (Saeed Jaffrey)
Spoken to : Jomo or Jai Lakhanpal (Ravi Baswani)

Omi (Rakesh Bedi), Jomo and Siddharth (Faarooque Sheikh) are three college students who share a room and thus ending up sharing a life as well. This is one of those rare movies that is almost entirely shot in Delhi.

In this scene, Jomo is running after a girl who he has spotted from his balcony. Lallan (who owns a paan shop) catches hold of him and physically drags him back to his shop. The three room mates buy cigarettes on credit from his shop and are constantly behindhand in paying. Thus he is rightly miffed. Jomo on the other hand is trying to mollify him. Lallan says,

"nikaal paise"
"निकाल पैसे"

Jomo says,

"aa jaayenge, aa jaayenge, Lallan Miyaa, paise kahee.n nahee.n jaate"
"आ जायेंगे, आ जायेंगे, लल्लन मियाँ, पैसे कहीं नहीं जाते"

Lallan comes up with this classic line,

"abe jaane kee kaun baat kar riyaa hai, Gam to is cheez kaa hai, ki paise aate nahee.n hai.n"
"अबे जाने की कौन बात कर रिया है, ग़म तो इस चीज़ का है, कि पैसे आते नहीं हैं"

I have worked as a recovery officer for a finance company and used to remember this line often.

kitnee door hai babuji... hindustaan me to hai naa

Film: Laawaaris

Year of release : 1981

Spoken by : Heera (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Ranvir Singh (Amjad Khan)

This was Amitabh at his absolute peak. He just could do no wrong. But when you take the era out of the equation and see this film today, it is a film which deserves its rightful place in a trashcan. The film is about a bastard (laawaaris) who grows up to be Amitabh Bachchan. This one act turns the status of Laawaaris into 'hot'. Now everyone wants to disown their parents. Oh it is so fashionable to wallow in a sea of self pity. More about that wallowing later.

Both Mahender (Ranjeet) and Heera are Ranvir's sons. Mahender is the legal one and Heera is the illegal one. Neither Heera nor Ranvir are aware of this fact. Fate dishes up Heera to land up as an employee on Ranvir's estate. One day, when Dr Goyal (Om Prakash) finds that Ranvir has run out of his medicine, he asks Mahender to immediately get some stock. Mahender refuses to go on some flimsy pretext. Heera volunteers.

"Laaiye Doctor saahab; babuji is ghar me jab tak aapkaa ye naukar zindaa hai, aise kaamoN ke liye aapko koee takleef naheeN karnee paDegee, davaai maiN le aataa hooN"

"लाइये डॉक्टर साहब, बाबूजी इस घर में जब तक आपका ये नौकर ज़िन्दा है, ऐसे कामों के लिये आपको कोई तकलीफ़ नहीं करनी पडेगी, दवाई मैं ले आता हूं"

Ranvir says

'magar shahar bahut door hai"

Heera says

"kitnee door hai babuji... hindustaan me to hai naa"

"कितनी दूर है बाबूजी...हिन्दुस्तान में तो है ना?"

Often you find people finding excuses to turn a 'non-work' into a Herculean task. Here is a great line to trivialise a big job.

Daulat ka peD …paap kee zameen meN hee ugataa hai

This is a line which I did not want to write, but eventually decided that it is part of a history that many in India don’t identify with. But it was so true at one point in time. I remember a post budget talk at Talkatora stadium years ago in Delhi. Probably the year was 1992. The late Manu Chhabria was asked if it was possible to make an honest million in India. Manu Chhabria paused for a moment and then said

No it isn’t.

A million is ten lac rupees. If I project that amount at an 8% rate to today’s value, we are talking of 35 lac rupees. Today, it is possible to make an absolutely honest million in India. That is how India has changed. But there was a generation which extends right upto half a generation before mine, which believed otherwise. An ode to the change heralded by Manmohan Singh.

Shaahanii seth (Amjad Khan) goes and instigates Kaaliaa (Amitabh)’s sister in law (Asha Parekh). He tells her that her brother in law is not as innocent as he seems. That his wealth is largely ill-gotten. In order to buttress his accusation, he says

Daulat ka peD jab bhee ugtaa hai paap kee zameen me hee ugtaa hai
दौलत का पेड़ जब भी उगता है पाप की ज़मीन में ही उगता है
Later Kaaliaa also repeats the same point to his sister in law. He adds

मेहनत से आदमी सिर्फ़ झोंपड़े ही बना सकता है भाभी ऐसे शानदार महल नहीं खड़े कर सकता

Well Mr. Bachchan, allow me to disagree once. Though if you are one of those who still believes it to be true, go ahead and use it to your heart’s content.

दौलत का पेड़...पाप की ज़मीन में ही उगता है

Hum jahaan khaDe hote hain line vaheeN se shuru hotee hai

Film : Kaalia
Year of release : 1981
Spoken by : Michael (Bob Christo)
Spoken to : A crippled prisoner (Ram Sethi)
Dialogue writer : Inder Raj Anand

This is a very famous “Amitabh” line from the 1981 movie Kaalia. But interestingly this line was never mouthed by him. It was actually said by the character called Michael (Bob Christo). Amitabh merely repeats the line as

हम भी वो हैं जो कभी किसी के पीछे नही खड़े होते. जहा खड़े हो जाते है लाइन वहीं से शुरु हो जाती है.
So technically, the line will have to be attributed to Bob Christo. Bob Christo was the standard fixture in all films which required a white villain. So much so that he became a stereotype. He was well-built and bald, and that accentuated his threat. In India, a deep voice and a good body were considered virtues for a ‘villain’ – till the new generation heroes like Salman and Sunil changed all that. This is a typical prison scene (which you would see in almost every second film), which is played out in this case in Central Jail Nasik. A crippled prisoner (Ram Sethi who sings the song ‘Kaun kisii ko baandh sakaa hai’) is standing in the queue for food. Just as he is about to take his food, his plate is snatched by Michael (Bob Christo). The crippled prisoner protests that Michael should stand in line. And what does Michael say. You guessed it right-

Hum jahaaN khaDe hote haiN line waheeN se shuroo hotee hai

Immediately after that all the other prisoners in the queue go and stand behind Michael. Of course the scene further develops into a fight and our hero – the big B – also comes into it and repeats the same line in his inimitable style. A similar line is part of Tamil film legend too. Rajnikant says in his 1999 superhit Padaiyappa – என் வழி  தனி வழி (En vazhi  tani vazhi) – which means something like 

हम भी दरया हैं हमें अपना हुनर मालूम है
जिस तरफ़ भी चल पडेंगे रास्ता हो जायेगा

So, whether you are charting your own course or jumping the queue, you could use this line. The latter option is fraught with the danger of receiving a spontaneous public beating.

Sar chhat ko chhoone lagaa hai aur aql ghuTano ke oopar nahee gayee

Kader Khan was another great writer and actor. If you want to learn voice modulation, there are few better people to emulate. The late 80s and early 90s were totally dominated by Kader Khan. Every second film would have dialogues by him or he would be the villain or the comedian. A truly versatile artist. The line featured here is from the 1981 film Kaalia. Starring Amitabh Bachchan ‘in and as’ Kaalia. Early on in the film, the dreaded don Kaalia is actually a simpleton – Kallu. He plays marbles with the neighbouring kids though he is well over twenty (well..close to 40 actually). One of his neighbours called Raamdeen (Mushtaq Khan) is blessed with a baby boy. Kallu goes around the town tom-tomming the news. He goes and enthusiastically communicates it to Narayan, another neighbour who has never been blessed with kids. Narayan gets irked and slaps Kallu. He also complains to Kallu’s elder brother Shaam (Kader Khan). When Shaam reaches home, Kallu is complaining to his sister-in-law Shanti (Asha Parekh) about Narayan. Shaam loses his cool and scolds Kallu with this line

सर छत को छूने लगा है और अक्ल घुटनो के ऊपर नही गयी

All of us know someone or the other, who is the befitting recipient of such a jibe. Kids, husbands, siblings, bosses. Oh sorry. Don’t use it for bosses. For other categories user discretion is recommended.

GunDoN ko ek laakh aur bhale aadmi ko ek hazaar

Featuring the 1981 movie Chashme Baddoor again. Omi (Rakesh Bedi) is reading a news item which says that a rich businessman's daughter has been kidnapped and the kidnappers have demanded a ransom of 1 lac Rs. The news item further goes on to say that anyone who gives information about the whereabouts of the girl would get a reward of Rs 1000. This prompts Omi to say

"Dhat tere ki, GunDoN ko ek laakh; aur bhale aadmi ko ek hazaar - yeh bhi koii baat hai"

Literally this means - One lakh for the goons and the good man gets just one thousand - how unfair. There is a saying in Hindi

"HaNs chugegaa daanaa dunkaa kauvaa motii khaayegaa"

"हंस चुगेगा दाना दुनका कौवा मोती खायेगा"

This statement also broadly means what Omi has said in his own style. You can use it if a less-deserving person in your office gets paid much more than you. You can use it if a less deserving bowler gets more wicket than a deserving one (Yuvraj Singh getting five and Kumble getting one). So on and so forth. Whenever someone perceived to be less-deserving gets more than someone perceived as deserving, you could say

"GunDoN ko ek laakh aur bhale aadmi ko ek hazaar!"

"ग़ुंडों को एक लाख और भले आदमी को एक हज़ार!"

Mere dost beeDiyon par utar aaye hain

The idea for this blog came to me when one of my colleagues, once told me the exact line that you see in the title. The reference was - I used to normally travel by auto rickshaws and that day I had taken a state corporation bus. I was intrigued by the usage and asked him what he meant. He said that this line is uttered by Faarooque Sheikh in the 1980s classic Chashm-e-baddoor. It hit me that our Hindi films (and for that matter all films) are a very rich source of dialogues which when viewed in the proper context almost work like proverbs. How many of us have been in a workshop or a training session where after a question posed by the presenter; if no one proffers an answer, the presenter usually says "itnaa sannaaTaa kyoon hai bhaai". Seldom has this line failed in getting something from a twitter to a guffaw from the audience. This line is uttered by the grand old man of Hindi cinema - AK Hangal in that all time classic Sholay.

So this blog shall basically catch and capture such memorable lines. We will try and give you the exact words spoken - as a proverb or a quotation is incorrect if even a syllable is changed. We will also give the situation of the line, the film in which it was used, which character uttered it and what it could mean metaphorically. Although my colleague triggered the idea of creating this blog, he quoted this line wrong. So I ensure that all the lines are exactly as they appear in the film, and not as people remember them.
If you remember any great lines, please write in to me. Leave the research to me. I would like to encourage each one of you to contribute. Remember the requirements

1. The exact words to be used
2. The situation in which they are used
3. The film in which they are used
4. The character (real as well as fictional) who spouts the lines
5. The metaphor - or why do you think it qualifies to be a proverb

Any anecdotes around it are more than helpful. Feel free to write in. And I heartily wish you never have to smoke a beeDi ever. Nor a cigarette for that matter. Nor any form of tobacco. Cheers

Ravi