yeh hindustaan me.n kyaa kar rahaa hai

Film : Hero Hiralal

Year of release : 1988

Spoken by : Bhagwan (Satish Shah)

Spoken to : Aziz (Saeed Jaffrey) and Rangila (Mohan Gokhale)

Dialogue writer : Hriday Lani

Hero's friends Aziz, Rangila and Bhagwan go to the bungalow where Sitara Devi (Deepa Sahi) has kept hero (Naseer) for some silly death defying stunt (rather a lethal stunt). As they make their way in, Dukhilal the watchman (Deepak Kejriwal) is in the process of frog marching a hapless reporter to the exit gate. 

Aziz carefully approaches Dukhilal, who has guessed the reason for their visit. He refuses to allow them to meet Hero. Rangila aggressively says that Hero is their friend and they have a right to meet him. Dukhilal is not moved. Now that request and aggression and name dropping hasn't worked, Bhagwan suggests that it's time for good old bribery. He moves the other two aside, and walks up to Dukhilal. He says,

"bhaiyyaa jee baat aisee hai ki, aajkal zamaanaa kitnaa Kharaab hai eh, aur phir mehengaai bhee kitnee baDh gaee hai. phir uspe chaai paanee kaa kharchaa nahee mile to gussaa to aave hai naa..."

he slips in some money into Dukhilal's hands and says

'to ye lo aur ThanDe ho jaao, samjhe' and then he turns to his two friends and triumphantly winks at them. Exactly at that moment, Dukhilal lets loose what is called 'ulTe haath kaa' and says

'yeh ghoos hee is desh kee satyaanaashee jaD hai, dukhilaal ko ghoos dete ho bhaee, hai.n? ye ghoos leke yahaa.n se nikal jaao varnaa ek hee ghoose me.n ye ghoos me.n hee ghus jaayegee..

bhagwan comes up with a classic

waah mere maalik, yeh hindustaan me.n kyaa kar rahaa hai. 

वाह मेरे मालिक, ये हिन्दुस्तान में क्या कर रहा है

Well 23 years later, not much has changed, I still hear this line when someone talks of probity and honesty.