kabhii aane ko kehtii hai, kabhii jaane ko kehtii hai

Film: Sharaabi

Year of release : 1984

Spoken by : Vicky (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Munshi (Om Prakash)

I saw this film when I was moving into adoloscence. It was a big hit with me. I used to wake up at 3 in the morning and sing the songs of the film. I was quite besotted with everything about the film. Now when I look back, I wonder how I did not turn into an alcoholic given my level of enchantment with this film. But even now when I see this film, I see many lines which I have used time and again in my life - sometimes in jest, sometimes in seriousness.

Here is one of them.

Natwar Shah (Ranjeet) is dancer Meena's (Jaya Prada looking at her beautiful best) agent. He tries to hitch her up with wealthy patrons and get rich in the process. Vicky is one such target. Natwar goes to Vicky to sell him tickets of one of her dance shows. When Vicky sees Meena's photo - he is besotted with her. He buys all the tickets of the show. When Meena is about to start her performance, she sees only two people in the hall - Vicky and Munshiji. She is upset and conveys her feelings to Vicky. She feels that he has insulted an artiste by acting in this manner. Vicky apologises but also drops in some heavy dialogues about his being a patron who could genuinely appreciate her art and also applaud her more than a 1000 members in the audience could. As he is about to leave, Meena asks him to wait. A flustered Vicky says, in his characteristic style;

"bhai kamaal hai munshii jii, kabhii aane ko kehtee hai kabhee jaane ko kehtee hai"

"भइ कमाल है मुंशी जी, कभी आने को कहती है, कभी जाने को कहती है"

A line which can be used very effectively with your lover :)

jawaan laDkee bhee jaaydaad kee tarah hotee hai...donoN kaa ek ek rakhwaalaa honaa chaahiye

Film: Man ka Meet

Year of release : 1968

Spoken by : Lala ji (Om Prakash)

Spoken to : Aarti (Leena Chandavarkar)

The claim to fame of this film is that this was the debut film of two people - one was Som Datt (Sunil Dutt's brother as hero, who was never heard of again) and Vinod Khanna (as villain and who later became a hero and then a sanyasi and then an MP). Vinod Khanna really started looking his macho self from movies like Achanak. So he reminds you of Dharmendra in Dil Bhi Tera Hum Bhi Tere. In fact there is a dialogue in the film where the heroine Aarti (Leena Chandavarkar) tells him that he should not try to be a hero because he has a face more suited to being a villain.

Coming back to the dialogue, the 60s and 70s had a lot of these sexist dialogues, which seemed quite acceptable in that era. Today, I feel most people would take umbrage at such lines. But I am a sucker for metaphors and analogies and proverbs and what have you. This seemed to fit at least one of the above bills and hence I am featuring this line here.

Lala ji (Om Prakash), is a rich man and is the guardian of Aarti. He is worried about her marriage, whereas Aarti mouths the typical dialogue of that era - 'mujhe shaadi naheeN karnee' or ' abhii itnee jaldee kyaa hai'. And when Lala Ji tries to get her to consider marriage, he says

"jawaan laDkee bhee jaaydaad kee tarah hotee hai beTii...donoN kaa ek ek rakhwaalaa honaa zaroori hai"

"जवान लड़की भी जायदाद की तरह होती है बेटी...दोनों का एक एक रखवाला होना ज़रूरी है"

Jab tak baiThne ko naa kahaa jaaye sharaafat se khaDe raho

Film : Zanjeer
Year of release : 1973
Spoken by : Inspector Vijay Khanna (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Sher Khan (Pran)

Read the earlier post before reading this.

Sher Khan casually moves towards the chair kept in front of Vijay with an intention of sitting in . Before Sher Khan can actually sit, something happens. The slow and deliberate movements of Sher Khan and the sitting form of Vijay do not allow you to be prepared for what follows. They are in stark contrast to the sudden explosion of energy. You can actually feel the 'angry young man' in what follows. Vijay jumps out of his chair and kicks away the chair with great alacrity. A stunned Sher Khan stands wondering what will follow next. What follows next is this great line penned by Salim-Javed.

"Jab tak baiThne ko naa kahaa jaaye sharaafat se khaDe raho"

"जब तक बैठने को ना कहा जाये शराफ़त से खडे रहो"

Even in normally civilised settings - in offices and at homes - you have unwanted visitors who drop in unexpectedly and try to get overly friendly. Your entire body and soul wishes them to go away. You would love it if you could kick the chair away (before they plonk themselves in it) and say

"जब तक बैठने को ना कहा जाये शराफ़त से खडे रहो"

Of course, it will never happen in reality. But you can watch this scene and replay it in your mind. It will surely make you smile.

is ilaaqe meN naye aaye ho saahab

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Sher Khan (Pran)

Spoken to : Vijay Khanna (Amitabh Bachchan)

This is the scene where Sher Khan and Vijay Khanna share screen space for the first time. Inspector Vijay has sent for Sher Khan. Sher Khan comes to the police station. This is their interaction -

"assalaam aalaikum Inspector. Hamaaraa Khushqismatii, tumhaare jaise baDe officer ne humko yaad kiyaa. Hamaare laayaq koee khidmat?"

"अस्सलाम आलेक़ुम इंस्पॅक्टर. हमारा ख़ुशक़िस्मती, तुम्हारे जैसे बडे ऑफ़िसर ने हमको याद किया. हमारे लायक़ कोई ख़िदमत? "

"tumhaaraa naam ...sher khan hai?"

"तुम्हारा नाम ... शेर ख़ान है?"

"is ilaaqe meN naye aaye ho saahab? varnaa sher khan ko kaun naheeN jaantaa. Khair...ab mulaaqaat ho gayee hai."

"इस इलाक़े में नये आये हो साहब? वर्ना शेर ख़ान को कौन नहीं जानता. ख़ैर...अब मुलाक़ात हो गयी है."

And then something else happens. That will follow in the next post.

bardaasht kii koii had naheeN hotee

Film: Besharam

Year of release: 1978

Spoken by: Ramchandraji (A K Hangal)

Spoken to: Ram (Amitabh Bachchan)

A K Hangal should have debuted on this blog with that classic from Sholay "itnaa sannaaTaa kyoN haiN bhai". But as luck would have it, it is this line that marks his debut here.

Besharam is directed by Deven Verma and is one of Amitabh's weak films. This is the only film in which Amitabh plays the role of an LIC agent (probably explains the title :))

Pande (Jagdish Raj) is insulting his father Ramchandraji in Ram's presence. Tony (Imtiaz Khan) taunts Ram about his predicament. Ram goes and grabs Tony's collar. His father stops him. Ram angrily says

"Bardaasht kii bhii koii had hotee hai"

"बर्दाश्त की भी कोई हद होती है"

Ramchandraji very calmly responds:

"bardaasht kii koee had naheeN hotee...kuttaa agar aadmii ko kaaT le to aadmii kutte ko naheeN kaaTtaa"

"बर्दाश्त की कोई हद नहीं होती...कुत्ता अगर आदमी को काट ले तो आदमी कुत्ते को नहीं काटता"

duniyaa meN sirf do hee sach haiN...ek haaN aur ek naa

Film: Kabzaa

Year of release: 1988

Spoken by: Ustaad Ali Mohammad (Aalok Nath)

Spoken to: D'Souza (Deepak Quazir)

This is a film written by Salim Khan (Salman Khan's father) and directed by Mahesh Bhatt.

"Duniyaa meN sirf do hee sach haiN...ek haaN aur ek naa...baaqii sab hera pheri hai"

"दुनिया में सिर्फ़ दो ही सच हैं...एक हाँ और एक ना...बाक़ी सब हेरा फेरी है"

He says this when D'Souza tries to wiggle out of his promise of building a children's park after being threatened by Ranjit Verma (Raj Babbar).

Apun yeDaa akkhee duniyaa shaaNii, haiN?

Film : Rangeela
Year of release : 1996
Spoken by : Munna (Aamir Khan)
Spoken to : Mili (Urmila Matondkar)

Many of the street smart Bambaiyya lines have been featured from this film earlier on this blog.

Both Milee and Munna are fighting after the ruckus at the theatre as that incident results in them not being able to see the movie Mr. Bond starring Milee’s favourite star Kamal.

Munna insists that it is not his fault. He says

"Arre kamaal hai, tere ko to har baat pe apnaa hee fault dikhtaa hai. Apun yeda akkhee duniyaa shaanee hain? "
"अरे कमाल है, तेरे को तो हर बात पर अपना ही फ़ॉल्ट दिखता है. अपुन येड़ा अक्खी दुनिया शानी, हैं?

baap kii kamaaii naheeN paap kee kamaaii hai

Film : Phool aur Patthar
Year of release : 1966
Spoken by : Sarju (OP Ralhan)
Spoken to : Fatso (his gangmember)

Sarju is distributing the loot equally among his gang members after a 'jhamoora' performance. So each gang member gets 1 re 81 paise (har di har har). A 'jhamoora' performance is one, where there is a ringmaster kind of character - the ustaad, who prompts his protege - the jhamoora, with questions. The protege responds and does some acts which together provide entertainment to the collected audience. But Sarju also used this as a ruse to pick the pockets of the members of the audience.

When Fatso protests-

"kamaal hai ustaad , do chhataank aadmi ke liye 1 re 81 paise aur mere liye bhee'

Sarju says ' kam khaayaa kar' and follows that up with

"baap kee kamaai nahee paap kee kamaaii hai sab ko baraabar kaa hissa milegaa"

"बाप की कमाई नहीं पाप की कमाई है, सब को बराबर का हिस्सा मिलेगा"

dekhaa bhii naheeN ke gaay hai ya bail aur loTaa leke duhne baiTh gayaa

Film : Jaagte Raho
Year of release : 1956
Spoken by : Shashaank Bhaiyya (Anon)
Spoken to : Chandu (Iftekhar)

Jaagte Raho is one of the better films of Raj Kapoor. Of course, he tries to irritate the hell out of me like always, but somehow holds my attention. It is the simple story of a village simpleton who comes to the city and is thirsty and looks for water. He is thought by a policeman to be a thief and is chased into a housing compound and there he hides in one house after the other and keeps looking for water. He does not find any water, but he does find the level of debasement and corruption in the lives of these 'bourgeouise'.

crocin ko maanne meN aur bhagwaan ko maanne meN kyaa farq hai

Film : Phoonk

Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Manja (Zakir Husain)

Spoken to : Rajiv (Sudeep)

Kannada star Sudeep stars in this Ramgopal Varma film which dared anyone in the audience to watch the film alone in a theatre. I thought the film was not scare at all. But I will grant you this, I have a strong heart. I will also grant you that the performance by some actors was very credible.

Quickly, this is the story of an atheist who is forced to believe. As the story approaches its climax, the tantric Manja asks Rajiv, if he is an atheist.

Rajiv replies in the affirmative. Manja asks him the reason. Rajiv says he doesn't know, and follows up with a rhetorical question - What is God?

Manja looks at him and asks him if he pops a Crocin when he is suffering from fever. Rajiv says yes. Manja asks him how does he know what is Crocin and that it will cure him. Doesn't he just 'believe' in the doctor when he asks him to pop a Crocin. And then the punchline

"Crocin ko maanne meN aur bhagwaan ko maanne meN kyaa farq hai"

"क्रोसिन को मानने में और भागवान को मानने में क्या फर्क़ है?"

kuttaa jab paagal ho jaataa hai to use golee maar dete haiN

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Seth Dharam Dayal Teja (Ajit)

Spoken to : Patil (Sapru)

Vijay i.e. Amitabh's father Ranjit is a felon who wants to mend his ways. After being released from jail (read this entry), Ranjit goes to his employers (DD and Patil) and says he will no longer do this work and wants to go straight. DD tells Patil that he is wondering how many years jail they will get if Ranjit were to go to the police and turn an approver. An angry Patil says Ranjit has gone mad. DD aka Ajit comes up with his Ajitism.

"kuttaa jab paagal ho jaataa hai to use golee maar dete haiN"

"कुत्ता जब पागल हो जाता है तो उसे गोली मार देते हैं"

kyonki chori ki yaari aur chori ki savaari kabhee kabhee karnee chaahiye

Film : Kuchche Dhaage
Year of release : 1973
Spoken by : Roopa (Kabir Bedi)
Spoken to : Laakhan (Vinod Khanna)

This was another of those dacoit films of the 70s. Must have been a very angry country at that time. But what I found interesting was the spelling of the film. The film was spelt on its print and posters as 'Kuchhe Dhaage' which I would read as 'Threads of Underwear' in this form (कच्छे धागे) as against the actual meaning of 'Weak Threads'.

Anyways the film has two dacoit gangs - one a Brahmin gang and the other was a Rajput gang. The chieftains of both gangs viz., Roopa and Laakhan come together in the climax to ensure the wedding of their beloved.

When both of them are fighting together against the police and enjoying a banter about their horses. They both had stolen each others horses. Laakhan asks Roopa, if he rides his white horse. Roopa says
"kabhi kabhi"
Laakhan asks
"kabhi kabhi kyon?"

Roopa comes up with an interesting answer
"kyonki chori ki yaari aur chori ki savaari kabhee kabhee karnee chaahiye"
"क्योंकि चोरी कि यारी और चोरी की सवारी कभी कभी करनी चाहिये"

I quite like this wonderful rules that brigands and dacoits come up with.

But do you know that a movie which has Vinod Khanna and Kabir Bedi running after Moushmi Chatterjee, who does she go and marry. Some guy called Ritesh.

sar salaamat to pagDee pachaas

Film : C Kkompany

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Ramakant Joshi (Anupam Kher)

Spoken to : Purushottam (Nikhil Ratnaparkhi)

A group of three neighbours come together as C Kkompany to play out their wildest power dreams. Lambodar Jha (Rajpal Yadav) calls up as a don from C Kkompany and threatens Purushottam (who is a builder) with dire consequences if he refuses to pay up. Ramakant and Akshay Kumar (Tusshar Kapoor) try and convince Purushottam to agree to the don's demands. Akshay says that one should not take such threats lightly. Ramakant follows that up with a classic line

"सर सलामत तो पगड़ी पचास"

There is a famous saying in Hindi - 'jaan hai to jahaan hai". This line also captures the same thought in a slightly fresher way.

kabhii kabhii ye kaam bhee karnaa chaahiye

Film : Sholay

Year of release : 1975

Spoken by : Jay (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Veeru (Dharmendra)

Veeru and Basanti (Hema Malini) are now a proper romantic couple. Veeru wants Jay to go to Basanti's mausee (aunt) and ask for Basanti's hand. Jay is very skeptical of Veeru's 'love' and his desire to 'marry'. See how the scene opens.

Veeru : Jay...

Jay : hmmm...

Veeru : aaj maine kuchh sochaa hai...

Jay : hmm...kabhii kabhii ye kaam bhee karnaa chaahiye

The sardonic Jay is heaping scorn on Veeru and his ability to think. I do loads of this 'kaam' and wish more people in this world would do so too. :)

As Jay says,

हम्म... कभी कभी ये काम भी करना चाहिये

gaaranTee? MaiN aapko paNkhaa bech rahaa hooN?

Film : A Wednesday
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Common Man (Naseeruddin Shah)
Spoken to : Prakash Rathod (Anupam Kher)

Naseer has asked for the four terrorists to be transported to an unused runway near Juhu Airbase. He has laid out his requirements very very clearly. Prakash asks him that what is the guarantee that he would defuse all bombs once the requests are complied with.

A very very disdainful tone comes into the Common Man's voice when he says

"gaaranTee? maiN aapko paNkhaa bech rahaa hooN?"

"गारंटी? मैं आपको पंखा बेच रहा हूं?"

kuchh aadmiyoN kee kamzoree iimaandaaree hotii hai

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : DD Teja (Ajit)

Spoken to : Mona (Bindu)

When Mona cribs to Teja that Inspector Vijay Khanna does not accept any bribes, Dharam Dayal Teja says
"Mona jis tarah kuchh aadmiyoN kii kamzoree beimaanee hotee hai usee tarah kuchh aadmiyon kee kamzoree imaandaaree hotee hai"

"मोना जिस तरह कुछ आदमियों की कमज़ोरी बेईमानी होती है, उसी तरह कुछ आदमियों की कमज़ोरी ईमानदारी होती है "

bolte English haiN karte desii haiN

Film : Oye Lucky Lucky Oye
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Bangaalii (Manu Rishi)
Spoken to : Lucky (Abhay Deol)

This hugely disappointing Dibakar Banerji follow up to one of the all time greats of Hindi and world cinema - Khosla ka Ghosla - has some interesting lines.

Lucky is a suave thief, who burgles houses but with a sangfroid that would put an aristocrat to shame. Bangaali is his aide in many such thefts. In one such scenes, he warns Lucky to beware of the educated classes. He feels that they are hypocrites who might sound cultured but have ignoble intentions underlying. As he himself puts it

'bolte English haiN karte desee haiN'

"बोलते इंग्लिश हैं करते देसी हैं "

mard aadmii khelte haiN baabu...dekhne vaaloN ko kyaa kehte haiN maaloom?

Film : Ankur

Year of release : 1974

Spoken by : Swami - A villager (Unidentified)

Spoken to : Surya (Anant Nag)

On Diwali day, three men come to Surya's house. He invites them to drink and gamble. They invite him to gamble along with them. Surya refuses, he says

"Aisaa karo tum log khelo - maiN dekhooNgaa"

"ऐसा करो तुम लोग खेलो - मैं देखूंगा"

Swami (one of the gamblers) retorts with

"mard aadmii khelte haiN babu, dekhne waaloN ko kyaa kehte haiN maaloom?"

"मर्द आदमी खेलते हैं बाबू, देखने वालों को क्या कहते हैं मालूम ? "

A classic hark back to the Sanskrit quotation

"उद्योगम् पुरुष लक्षणम् "

he wants to watch.

Meraa beemaa sirf 1 laakh kaa hai aur aapkaa paanch laakh kaa

Film : Funtoosh

Year of release : 1956

Spoken by : Ram Lal Funtoosh (Dev Anand)

Spoken to : KaroRi Lal (K N Singh)

An old Dev Anand film talking about the dangers of taking too much insurance. 1 lac in 1956 (assuming a rate of 8% for the entire period) is roughly equal to 32 lacs in today's terms. 5 lacs is around 1.6 crores. I think one must think before buying too much insurance.

MukhDaa dekhoge to antraa bhool jaaoge

Film : Ab Kya Hoga

Year of release : 1977

Spoken by : Rajesh (Asrani)

Spoken to : Ram (Shatrughan Sinha)

This was a very silly mystery film made by Sawan Kumar Tak. Ram reaches Rajesh's wedding quite late. While Rajesh is taking him to task for having come late, Ram says

"chal zaraa pehle bhaabhi kaa mukhDa dekh aate haiN"

Rajesh says,

"mukhDaa dekhoge to antaraa bhool jaaoge. laakhoN meN ek hai - nazar mat lagaa denaa"

"मुखड़ा देखोगे तो अंतरा भूल जाओगे. लाखों में एक है - नज़र मत लगा देना"

soorat se dil kaa pata naheeN chaltaa

Film : Prem Patra
Year of release : 1962
Spoken by : Dr Arun Kumar (Shashi Kapoor)
Spoken to : Arun's aunt

Dr Arun's aunt is eager to fix his marriage with the local landowner's daughter. This would help him to get the requisite money to fund his higher studies abroad. Dr Arun has been heartbroken because of his scholarship having been cancelled for a flimsy reason. So he has kind of resigned himself to his fate. His aunt is trying to emotionally blackmail him and says,

"chaaho to kal laRkee dekh aao "

"चाहो तो कल लड़की देख आओ"

"dekhne se kyaa hotaa hai. soorat se dil kaa pataa naheeN chaltaa. jab wo aapko pasand hai - to bas Theek hai"

"देखने से क्या होता है. सूरत से दिल का पता नहीं चलता, जब वो आपको पसन्द है - तो बस ठीक है"

In English there is a saying - face is the index of the mind. Here is a version trying to negate that saying. It is interesting that you can often find good lines contradicting the inherent wisdom in each other. Sometimes even in the same language.

Sher Khan ne shaadii nahii kee to kyaa huaa, lekin baaraateN bahut dekhee haiN

Film : Zanjeer
Year of release : 1973
Spoken by : Sher Khan (Pran)
Spoken to : Vijay (Amitabh Bachchan)

Sher Khan comes to Vijay's house to give him a heads up about the offer that he has got. Two people have approached him with an offer to bump off Vijay Khanna. When Sher Khan walks in, Vijay is sitting with Mala. Vijay introduces Sher Khan to Mala;

"Mala ye Sher Khan hai. Mere bahut acchhe dost. Samjhee?
"माला ये शेर ख़ान है. मेरे बहुत अच्छे दोस्त. समझी?"

Sher Khan says,

"Yeh hamaare baare meN kuchh samjhe ya na samjhe, lekin ham inke baare meN samajh gayaa"
"ये हमारे बारे में कुछ समझे या न समझे, लेकिन हम इनके बारे में समझ गया"

"kyaa samajh gaye Sher Khan?"

"dekho biraadar. Sher Khan ne shaadii nahee kee to kyaa huaa, lekin baaraateN bahut dekheeN haiN"
"देखो बिरादर. शेर ख़ान ने शादी नहीं की तो क्या हुआ, लेकिन बारातें बहुत देखीं हैं"

chale to aRhaaii chaal nahee to chale hee naheeN

Film : Prem Patra
Year of release : 1962
Spoken by : Kavita's mother
Spoken to : Kavita (Sadhna)

This is a decent Bimal Roy film (not one of his best) with a very complicated story.

"Maa meraa iraadaa hai, maiN aaj raat hee ki gaaDee se Darjeeling chalee jaaooN"
"माँ मेरा इरादा है, मैं आज रात ही की गाड़ी से डार्जीलिंग चली जाऊं"

"Aaj kaise. parson to tere paas hone kee party jo hai?"
"आज कैसे? परसों तो तेरे पास होने की पार्टी जो है?"

"naheeN maa party rehne do. maiN aaj hee jaanaa chaahtee hooN"
"नहीं माँ पार्टी रहने दो. मैं आज ही जाना चाहती हूं"

"Ajeeb laRkee hai, chale to aRhaaii chaal, naheeN to chale hee naheeN"
"अजीब लड़की है, चले तो अढ़ाई चाल, नहीं तो चले ही नहीं"

WahaaN jaake phir angrezii bolnee paDegee

Film: Singh is Kinng

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Rangeelaa (Om Puri)

Spoken to : Himself

Akshay Kumar has perfected the art of making you laugh in films with inane stories. If you ask me, he is a bigger Baadshah than SRK. Anyways, in this particular sequence, Happy Singh (Akshay Kumar) and Rangeela have landed in Sydney airport and their luggage seems to have been misplaced by the airlines. Rangeela has come with Happy as the village English 'expert'. That his English would not be understood by most native English speakers is another matter altogether. Rangeela goes to the booking counter to complain in loud and clear terms about his luggage. The man at the counter is trying his best to explain that he cannot help him and that Rangeela would have to go to the luggage counter. But Rangeela is the English 'expert' and cannot understand a word. An Indian traveller who is also waiting beside Rangeela intervenes and explains to Rangeela that he would have to go to the luggage counter.

An exasperated Rangeela says

'वहाँ जाके फिर अंग्रेज़ी बोलनी पडेगी"

When I saw this scene, I broke out laughing and could not stop for close to a minute. Om Puri has managed to give credibility to this dialogue with his acting prowess.

kaho to phir andar bhijvaa deN

Film: Zanjeer
Year of release : 1973
Spoken by : Teja (Ajit)
Spoken to : Vijay (Amitabh Bachchan)

Vijay has been jailed on a trumped up charge of bribery. The main man behind setting him up was Teja. When Vijay is released he is eager for revenge. He goes straight to a phone booth and he calls Teja. Here is the conversation. Reproducing it verbatim as it is a very famous line.

"Teja maiN vijay bol rahaa hooN"

"तेजा मैं विजय बोल रहा हूं"

"Oh hello inspector"

"ओह हलो इंस्पॅक्टर"

"maiN baahar aa gayaa hooN"

"मैं बाहर आ गया हूं"

"kaho to phir andar bhijvaa deN"

"कहो तो फिर अन्दर भिजवा दें"

What sets Ajit's Teja apart from other villains of that time is that he never went over the top. He is very cool and maintains what I would call his 'sangfroid' at all times. Superb.

taaj un saroN pe naheeN rehtaa jinke qareeb Khauf aa jaaye

Film : Mughal-e-Aazam

Year of release : 1960

Spoken by : Bahaar (Nigar Sultana)

Spoken to : A maid in the palace

Bahaar, is one of the senior maids in the palace. She nurses a secret ambition of becoming the princess. One day she is trying on the crown and she is spotted by another maid. The other maid says

"taaj doosroN ke haath pehne jaate haiN bahaar"

"ताज दूसरों के हाथ पहने जाते हैं बहार"

Bahaar retorts with

"haath doosroN ke hote haiN par himmat apnee hotee hai"

"हाथ दूसरों के होते हैं पर हिम्मत अपनी होती है"

The maid says

"koee aa na jaaye bahaar, kyaa tumhe Khauf naheeN?"

"कोई आ न जाये बहार, क्या तुम्हें ख़ौफ़ नहीं?"

Bahaar says

"Khauf? taaj un saroN pe naheeN rehtaa jinke qareeb Khauf aa jaaye"

"ख़ौफ़? ताज उन सरों पे नहीं रहता जिनके क़रीब ख़ौफ आ जाये"

That is so true. Even today, to be a leader in any field, courage continues to be one of the competencies required.

Jab tak zindaa hooN tab tak maraa naheeN, jab mar gayaa saalaa maiN hee naheeN

Film: Anand
Year of release : 1971
Spoken by : Anand Sehgal (Rajesh Khanna)
Spoken to : Dr Bhaskar (Amitabh Bachchan)


Jab tak zindaa hooN tab tak maraa naheeN, jab mar gayaa saalaa maiN hee naheeN

Main der se marne waaloN meN hooN

Film : DaaG

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Diwan (Manmohan Krishna)

Spoken to : Sunil (Rajesh Khanna)

I love this line. It is an oblique reference to a rich man. Diwan is a heart patient who has an attack while travelling on a train with his daughter Chandni (Raakhi). Sunil helps them during the journey and Diwan is very grateful. He tells Sunil about Chandni's troubles - she has been cheated by a man and is now pregnant and unmarried. After helping them off the train, Sunil tries to console him and says

"aap achchhe ho jaayenge aapkaa ilaaj ho rahaa hai"

"आप अच्छे हो जायेंगे आपका इलाज हो रहा है"

Diwan says,

"Ilaaj vagairah sab bahaanaa hai, tareeqaa hai rupayaa kharch karne kaa. Jinke paas hotaa hai vo der se marte haiN aur jinke paas naheeN hotaa vo jaldii mar jaate haiN. MaiN der se marne waaloN meN hooN"

"इलाज वगैरह सब बहाना है, तरीक़ा है रुपया खर्च करने का. जिनके पास होता है वो देर से मरते हैं और जिनके पास नहीं होता वो जल्दी मर जाते हैं. मैं देर से मरने वालों में हूं."

Sometimes when I see our allopathic medicine system and the costs associated with even small things, I am reminded of this line. But I can safely say one thing. I am not rich.

मैं देर से मरने वालों में नहीं हूं.

"

Beewii ho... to har masalaa TeRhaa hotaa hai

Film: Shatranj ke Khilari

Year of release : 1977

Spoken by : Mirza Sajjad Ali (Sanjeev Kumar)

Spoken to : Meer Roshan Ali (Saeed Jaffrey)

Khurshid (Shabana Azmi), Mirza's wife, is constantly angry at Mirza's long hours spent on playing chess. She is very demonstrative of her displeasure. On one such occasion when her feathers have been ruffled, the Mirza goes in to soothe her. When he comes back, Mir asks him if he managed to soothe his wife and remarks

"baRa TeRha masalaa hai"

"बड़ा टेढ़ा मसला है"

Mirza heaves a long sigh and says

"beewii ho meer saahab, to har masalaa, TeRhaa hotaa hai"

"बीवी हो मीर साहब, तो हर मसला टेढ़ा होता है"

I am sure many of the married men would agree with this.

Haathii agar baiTh bhee jaaye to gadhe se oonchaa hotaa hai

Film : Baap Numberi Beta Dus Numberi
Year of release : 1990
Spoken by : Raman (Kader Khan)
Spoken to : Prasad (his son played by Shakti Kapoor)

This line is often used by me while referring to the financial markets and its constituents. I will come to that in a moment. Now both father and son are in a constant game of oneupmanship in this movie. Prasad goes and fraudulently collects gold from Raman's locker. In the meantime, Raman cleans out the balance in Prasad's account fraudulently. He calls up Prasad to tell him this and also tells him that the gold that Prasad has taken is fake. So the father is reiterating to the son that even if the son grows up he will not really match up to the father. He puts it beautifully

"Haathii agar baiTh bhee jaaye to gadhe se oonchaa hotaa hai"
"हाथी अगर बैठ भी जाये तो गधे से ऊंचा होता "

Now let me tell you my financial markets analogy. There are two common financial assets that people invest in - debt and equity. Now if you invest in debt, the growth is more steady, whereas in equity the journey is more volatile. But even if equity tanks very badly, over a 10 year term it would still end up giving more returns than debt. This has been my experience in the Indian markets over the last 20 years. Hence, if someone asks me the question equity or debt, I say this

"हाथी अगर बैठ भी जाये तो गधे से ऊंचा होता "

Baarah janglee kutte milke sher ko maar Daalte haiN

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Sher Khan (Pran)

Spoken to : Vijay 'Khan' (Amitabh Bachchan)

Teja asks his men to find out someone who has had a skirmish with Vijay in the past and pay him money to bump Vijay off. His men go and visit Sher Khan as he has had a very public fight with Vijay. What they do not know is that both Vijay and Sher Khan have now kissed and made up. Sher Khan refuses the offer given by Teja's men. He then goes to warn Vijay about the offer he has received. Vijay laughs it off. Sher Khan says, that though Vijay might be a brave man, but a pack of wild dogs can finish off a lion. Must have been a very powerful dialogue in the pre-Discovery and Animal Planet days. Now even little kids know this and hence the dialogue sort of loses its potence. But here goes nonetheless,

"Baarah janglee kutte milke sher ko maar Daalte haiN"

"बारह जंगली कुत्ते मिलकर शेर को मार डालते हैं"

kis kis kaa naam poochhenge aap

Film : Pakeezah

Year of release : 1972

Spoken by : Saahib Jaan (Meena Kumari)

Spoken to : Salim (Raaj Kumar)

Saahib Jan is a nautch girl. Forest Officer Salim falls in love with her after he meets her in that famous romantic train sequence. He is taking her back to the city with the intention of marrying her. One of her patrons, Hashim Khan, recognises her and starts following her. Salim asks Sahib Jan who he is. She responds with the classic

"kis kis kaa naam poochhenge aap?"

"किस किस का नाम पूछेंगे आप?"

poochhne ke liye zindaa rehnaa zaroorii hotaa hai

Film : Satya

Year of release : 1998

Spoken by : Satya (Chakravarthi)

Spoken to : Bhau Thakurdas Jhawle (Govind Namdeo)

Bhiku Mhatre (Manoj Bajpai) decides to kill Gurunarayan (Raju Mavani) upon the advice of Satya. Bhiku's mentor Bhau loses his cool when he comes to know of it and pounces on Bhiku saying he should have asked him first

"poochhne kaa naa mere ko" he says in a condescending manner.

Bhiku is at a loss to respond. Satya comes to his aid with

"poochhne ke liye zindaa rehnaa zaroorii hotaa hai"

"पूछने के लिये ज़िन्दा रहना ज़रूरी होता है"

So if your boss questions any decision of yours which has been taken in a crisis and says you should have checked with him/her first, you can use this line.

Mohabbat jo Dartee hai vo mohabbat naheeN ayyaashee hai, gunaah hai

Film : Mughal-e-Aazam

Year of release : 1960

Spoken by : Prince Salim (Dilip Kumar)

Spoken to : Anarkali (Madhubala)

You would have guessed from the line which film this line belonged to. Anarkali and Salim are in an amorous mood (or as our journalists call it - 'compromising position'), when Akbar the Great walks in. Anarkali is scared and makes a gesture to run away. Salim stops her and asks her not to be afraid. Because he believes, fearful love is manifestation of dishonourable intent. As he puts it

"mohabbat jo Dartee hai vo mohabbat naheeN, ayyaashee hai, gunaah hai"

"मोहब्बत जो डरती है वो मोहब्बत नहीं, अय्याशी है, गुनाह है"

Though that means that all that I have done in my life is 'gunaah'. PDA or public display of affection is such an unacceptable thing in India, that you have to be fearful.

"तो क्या मैं गुनाहगार हूं?"

Sher aur bakree donoN ek hee ghaaT se paanee naheeN peete

Film : Dus Numbri

Year of release : 1976

Spoken by : Inspector Jaichand (Premnath)

Spoken to : Arjun aka Dus Numbri (Manoj Kumar)

Manoj Kumar has sued Farah and Shahrukh for misrepresenting him in OSO. If you want to see how sickening and stupid he looked, see this film. Crap film with some very good songs. But when a film is so bad you want to stick till the end a la Return of the Jewel Thief. And I think he should have paid Farah money for the service that she has done to him. Par woh kahaanii phir kabhee.

Arjun is a 'bad character' and Inspector Jaichand is a crooked police officer. In one exchange between the two, Arjun asks Jaichand for a 50% cut in the fake currency racket. Jaichand is angry that a petty crook considers himself worthy of equal profits. He says,

"Sher aur bakree donoN ek hee ghaaT se paanee naheeN peete"

"शेर और बकरी दोनों एक ही घाट से पानी नहीं पीते"

Premnath makes his debut on this blog.

thook meN bhajiyaa tal rahe ho

Film : Baap Numberi Beta Dus Numberi

Year of release : 1990

Spoken by : Raman (Kader Khan)

Spoken to : Postman (Ram Sethi)

One of the hit conman capers from the Bollywood stable. In this scene, the postman asks Raman for a tip (baKhsheesh) after delivering a money order. Raman who is quite impecunious at all times, makes this telling comment. 

"thook meN bhajiyaa tal rahe ho"

"थूक में भजिया तल रहे हो"

Jo haath angaare ko chhupaaye, angaaraa usee haath ko jalaa detaa hai

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Inspector (Satyen Kappoo)

Spoken to : Ranjit (M Rajan)

A felon Ranjit is being released from the prison. He had refused to divulge the details of the gang which manufactured and distributed spurious drugs during his entire term. The inspector had tried his best to get Ranjit to become an approver and confess the names of the people involved, but in vain. Finally as he releases him, he says

"lekin yaad rakho ranjit, jo haath angaare ko chhupaaye, angaaraa usee haath ko jalaa detaa hai. tum ek din zaroor pachhtaaoge"

"लेकिन याद रखो रंजीत, जो हाथ अंगारे को छुपाये, अंगारा उसी हाथ को जला देता है. तुम एक दिन ज़रूर पछताओगे"

Some secrets are better divulged before they consume the keeper of the secret. As Ranjit found out in this movie.

Usne kahaa thaa

Film : Usne Kaha Tha

Year of release : 1960

Spoken by : Nandu (Sunil Dutt)

Spoken to : Havaldar (Tarun Bose)

This Bimal Roy production based on Chandradhar Sharma Guleri's most famous short story 'Usne Kahaa Thaa' is not directed by Bimal Roy himself. He is merely the producer. It is directed by Moni Bhattacharjee. Although it is based on a very famous short story, I would prefer the other 1960 Bimal Roy film Parakh any day over this one. But I will write on that great film some other day. The story is about a simple village man Nandu who meets Kamli for the first time when both of them are kids. Nandu has a soft corner for the girl, but the girl Kamli leaves the village. She comes back years later as a beautiful young girl. It takes very little time for the love to be rekindled. However Nandu is a lotus eater, who depends on his mother Paro's (Durga Khote) sewing machine heroices to make his ends meet. Kamli's uncle refuses to accept Nandu's marriage proposal on this pretext. A disappointed Nandu goes and joins the Army. When he later comes back he is shocked to find that Kamli is now engaged to be married. What he does not know is that she is engaged to his boss the Havaldar. This is revealed to him at the railway station when the entire company is leaving Ambala Cantt to go to the Rangoon front to fight the Japanese. A tearful Kamli says to Nandu

"Nandu, jang pe jaa rahe ho...apnaa Khayaal rakhnaa aur ..."

Nandu asks her

"Aur kyaa?"

She says,

"unkaa Khayaal rakhnaa"

Nandu is mortally wounded in the battlefield while he is transporting a wounded Havaldar to safety. In the hospital, the Havaldar asks Nandu

"MaiN tumse ek baat poochhnaa chaahtaa hooN Nandu...tumne merii jaan bachaaii lekin mujhe bachaane ke liye tumne jaan boojh ke apnee zindagii Khatre meN kyoN Daalee"

"मैं तुमसे एक बात पूछना चाहता हूं नन्दू...तुमने मेरी जान बचाई लेकिन मुझे बचाने के लिये तुमने जान बूझके अपनी ज़िन्दगी ख़तरे में क्यों डाली?"

I think you would have guessed the response. Nandu says

"usne kahaa thaa"

"उसने कहा था"

and dies. So how far would you go on someone's say so. Far enough to endanger your life.

Aapkaa janeoo dikh rahaa hai

Film : Hera Pheri
Year of release : 1976
Spoken by : Ajay (Vinod Khanna)
Spoken to : Asha Khanna (SulakshaNa PanDit)

Ajay saves Asha from some goons who are trying to molest her. He manages to scare them off. However, the goons have torn Asha's clothes. And the audience can see the fat ugly bra strap that was common in the 1970s. But the line that Ajay delivers has to go down as a classic. He says

आपका जनेऊ दिख रहा है

Whenever I am faced with such a situation, I cannot but help remember this line. Whether I use it or not depends on how well I know the person in question. But the line crops up nonetheless and brings a smile to the face.

kitnee door hai babuji... hindustaan me to hai naa

Film: Laawaaris

Year of release : 1981

Spoken by : Heera (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Ranvir Singh (Amjad Khan)

This was Amitabh at his absolute peak. He just could do no wrong. But when you take the era out of the equation and see this film today, it is a film which deserves its rightful place in a trashcan. The film is about a bastard (laawaaris) who grows up to be Amitabh Bachchan. This one act turns the status of Laawaaris into 'hot'. Now everyone wants to disown their parents. Oh it is so fashionable to wallow in a sea of self pity. More about that wallowing later.

Both Mahender (Ranjeet) and Heera are Ranvir's sons. Mahender is the legal one and Heera is the illegal one. Neither Heera nor Ranvir are aware of this fact. Fate dishes up Heera to land up as an employee on Ranvir's estate. One day, when Dr Goyal (Om Prakash) finds that Ranvir has run out of his medicine, he asks Mahender to immediately get some stock. Mahender refuses to go on some flimsy pretext. Heera volunteers.

"Laaiye Doctor saahab; babuji is ghar me jab tak aapkaa ye naukar zindaa hai, aise kaamoN ke liye aapko koee takleef naheeN karnee paDegee, davaai maiN le aataa hooN"

"लाइये डॉक्टर साहब, बाबूजी इस घर में जब तक आपका ये नौकर ज़िन्दा है, ऐसे कामों के लिये आपको कोई तकलीफ़ नहीं करनी पडेगी, दवाई मैं ले आता हूं"

Ranvir says

'magar shahar bahut door hai"

Heera says

"kitnee door hai babuji... hindustaan me to hai naa"

"कितनी दूर है बाबूजी...हिन्दुस्तान में तो है ना?"

Often you find people finding excuses to turn a 'non-work' into a Herculean task. Here is a great line to trivialise a big job.

terii mayyat par zyaadaa bheeD naheeN lagegee

Film : Woodstock Villa

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Kaleem Bhai (Gulshan Grover)
Spoken to : Sameer (Sikandar Kher)

Kaleem Bhai has lent some money to Sameer. Since Sameer is behindhand on the payment, he comes and bashes him up regularly to serve as a payment due reminder. In one such instance, he says

"terii mayyat par zyaadaa bheeD naheeN lagegee...kyoNkii mardoN se too pehchaan banaataa naheeN hai aur auratoN ko shamshaan meN aane kee manaa hai"

"तेरी मय्यत पर ज़्यादा भीड़ नहीं लगेगी, क्योंकि मर्दों से तू पहचान बनाता नहीं है और औरतों को शमशान में आने की मना है"

It is quite surprising that inspite of the society having progressed so (women can go into space and onto moon); they still don't go to the graveyard.

Aadmii jo hai aur aadmii jo kartaa hai...aage chalkar donoN meN antar naheeN rehtaa

Film : Ardh Satya
Year of release : 1983
Spoken by : Jyotsana Gokhale (Smita Patil)
Spoken to : Anant Velankar (Om Puri)

This film was one of Govind Nihalani's rare films which was a commercial success too. It was a good film and a must watch for all fans of Hindi films. Jyotsana is a college lecturer who is in love with Anant Velankar (who is the 80s version of Inspector Vijay Khanna). She attends a conference on police brutality and excesses and comes back and asks Anant Velankar to leave his job. He protests at her attempt to paint all the policemen with the same brush. She says,

"Dekho aadmi jo hai, aur jo kartaa hai – aage chalkar donoN meN antar naheeN rahtaa. Odhii huyee manovratti bhee aadmi ko khaa letee hai"

"देखो आदमी जो है, और जो करता है - आगे चलकर दोनों में अंतर नहीं रहता. ओढी हुई मनोवृत्ति भी आदमी को खा लेती है"

She has been reading a lot of stuff related to police atrocities and is progressively getting repulsed by the police and policemen.

kaneez kee majbooree ko aarzoo naa samajhiye zill-e-ilaahii

Film : Mughal-e-Aazam
Year of release : 1960
Spoken by : Anarkali (Madhubala)
Spoken to : Akbar (Prithviraj Kapoor)

Anarkali says this to Akbar when he accuses her of having been a gold digger.

"Kaneez kee majboori ko aarzoo naa samajhiye zille ilaahee"
"कनीज़ की मजबूरी को आरज़ू ना समझिये ज़िल्ल-ए-इलाही"

Sometimes, the desire is so inveterate, that it takes the form of a compulsion.

tujhe maa chaahiye yaa chane

Film : Mother India

Year of release : 1957

Spoken by : Radha (Nargis)

Spoken to : Little Birju (Master Sajid)

After a flood in the village, Radha and her kids don't have anything to eat. The village moneylender Sukhilala (Kanhaiyyalal) is trying to sleep with Radha and is using food for her kids as the bait. In this scene, the 'Mother India' factor surfaces. He goes to the hut where the mother and her kids are cooped up. He tries to bribe the kids with some channa (gram). Here is the exchange

Sukhilala: khaanaa pak gayaa beTaa... pak gayaa...raam raam raam are ye kaisaa julam kar rahee ho tum chhoTe chhoTe bachchoN par. kyaa karooN meraa man hee aisaa hai ki kisee kaa dukh naheeN dekhaa jaataa. le beTaa. khaa le.

खाना पक गया बेटा...पक गया...राम राम राम,.. अरे ये कैसा जुलम कर रही हो तुम छोटे छोटे बच्चों पर. क्या करूं मेरा मन ही ऐसा है कि किसी का दुख नहीं देखा जाता. ले बेटा. खा ले.

Radha : phenk de chane ramu. phenk de

फेंक दे चने रामू. फेंक दे

Sukhilala: are tu kaisee maa ho radha. khaa le (as he feeds the younger son birju). shaabaash. is haath meN bhee le (stuffs some more food into the other hand as he sees a hungry birju accepting food and eating it)

अरे तू कैसी मा हो राधा. खा ले. शाबाश. इस हाथ में भी ले.

Radha : birju phenk de chane. phenk de... birju, tujhe maa chaahiye yaa chane.

बिरजू फेंक दे चने...फेंक दे...बिरजू, तुझे माँ चाहिये या चने.

At this Birjoo throws away the food and spits out what he was eating on Sukhilala's face.

Sukhilala : aay haay maa bete sabab sayaane . sabere tak tabeeyat thikaane ho jaayegee

True to his words, just as he leaves Birju collapses due to hunger. Eventually this forces a distraught Radha to go back to Sukhilala. But we will come to that some other time.

I do think however, if you use this line with a modern day kid, he is going to go for the 'chane' and not the 'ma'.

Yeh to cheating hai

Film : Road
Year of release : 2002
Spoken by : Babu (Manoj Bajpai)
Spoken to : Arvind Chauhan (Viveik Oberoi)

The road thriller once again. Arvind and Lakshmi have given a lift in their SUV to Babu. Once he is inside the vehicle, he says he is hungry. Arvind says they have some biscuits in the car. Babu is offended and says that biscuits are for dogs. He manages to convince them to stop at a roadside eatery (Dhaabaa). Do read this post for an interesting line when Babu orders food at the Dhaabaa.

When the couple realises that they have probably made a mistake by giving a lift to Babu, Lakshmi convinces Arvind to make some excuse and refuse to carry him any further. Arvind goes to Babu and says

"हमें राजगढ़ नहीं बस्सी जाना है"

And asks him to make his own arrangement. Babu comes up with this classic

"ये तो चीटिंग है"

He says that now that he has had a full meal and even gulped down a large glass of lassi (buttermilk), he cannot walk. And now Arvind tells him that he cannot give him a lift as originally planned. This according to him is 'cheating'.

Yeh laDkiyaaN shamshaan tak aa naheeN saktee, lekin pahunchaa zaroor sakteeN haiN

Film : Woodstock Villa
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Kaleem Bhai (Gulshan Grover)
Spoken to : Sameer (Sikander Kher)

Gulshan Grover here playing another interesting character called Kaleem Bhai. He is a don who is owed money by the hero Sameer. Sameer is of course a philanderer and takes a needlessly healthy interest in women. On one such collection call, Kaleem Bhai leaves Sameer with a warning.

"jaate jaate kaleem bhaai kee naseehat sun le. ye laDkiyaan shamshaan tak aa naheeN saktee lekin pahunchaa zaroor sakteeN haiN"
"जाते जाते कलीम भाई की नसीहत सुन ले. ये लड़कियाँ शम्शान तक आ नहीं सकती, लेकिन पहुँचा ज़रूर सकतीं हैं"

Isme aapkaa dosh naheeN...meree soorat hee aisee hai

Film : Awaara
Year of release : 1951
Spoken by : Raj (Raj Kapoor)
Spoken to : Rita (Nargis)

This is Raj's oft-repeated line in this movie. You can call it his 'takiaa qalaam'. Raj is a tramp - an aawaara - who steals for a living. One fine day, he snitches Rita's purse from a crowded market place. He bumps into her as he is doing this. Since he is dressed as a tramp, Rita heaps scorn on him. When she discovers that her purse is missing, she is distraught. She starts running in the direction where she thinks the thief might have gone. Raj pretends to chase the thief and while chasing this thief he jumps over a high wall and pretends to fight with the imaginary thief before bringing back the purse to Rita. He is almost exposed, as a curious Rita tries to climb the wall to see what's going on. But she is unable to scale the wall and hence Raj escapes detection. When he hands the purse back to Rita, she is contrite as she had treated him with contempt a while back. Raj says

"IsmeN aapkaa dosh naheeN memsaab; merii soorat hee aisee hai. Aur to aur kabhee kabhee police bhee dhokhaa khaa jaatee hai"
"इसमें आपका दोष नहीं मेमसाब; मेरी सूरत ही ऐसी है. और तो और कभी कभी पुलिस भी धोखा खा जाती है"

Years later I remember reading an interview (perhaps by the late Bunny Reuben) where Raj was asked what went wrong between him and Nargis. Raj is reported to have said

"Perhaps she did not find me handsome enough"

I guess Raj had this desire to get all audience sympathy directed towards him by hook or by crook. Probably the reason why after Andaaz, he was so desperate to do Sangam with Dilip. The final choice for that role in Sangam - Rajender Kumar - was quite miffed at the way Raj tried to corner all the sympathy in Sangam. I see no other reason why a very fair, slim, 26 year young man with blue eyes should mouth a line like this in India - and get away with it.

I remember, Cary Grant used to say that he would tell every woman that he was impotent and that made them all the more eager to prove him wrong. This seems to be a similar trick. So, if you are handsome and suffer from the same complex that Raj did, use this line. I can't use it. You see the line kind of loses its punch if mouthed by someone ugly. :)

इसमें आपका दोष नहीं मेमसाब; मेरी सूरत ही ऐसी है

Neech aadmii bhee vohee kaam karte haiN jo shareef karte haiN

Film : Daag

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Dheeraj Kapoor (Prem Chopra)

Spoken to : Sonia (Sharmila Tagore)

This lesser known film directed by the other and now very famous Chopra - Yash Chopra, is now remembered as the film which marked Kader Khan's debut. He features as a lawyer in a sneeze-and-you-will-miss-me role.

Sonia (Sharmila) and Sunil kohli (Rajesh Khanna) are newly weds who have come to Kulu where Sunil has landed a new job with Kapoor Industries (whose owners are Jagdish Kapoor i.e. Shivadasani and his son Dheeraj Kapoor i.e. Prem Chopra). They have been put up in Kapoor’s house. Dheeraj casts his evil eye on Sonia. He pretends he has come into her room to take out some cash from the safe. He then heaps a few bundles together in his arms and asks her to hold them for a moment. When she does that, he says

"Agar ye saare note aapko de diye jaayeN to kaisa rahegaa?"

"अगर ये सारे नोट आपको दे दिये जायें तो कैसा रहेगा?"

She suddenly understands his intentions and says

"nikal jaaiye mere kamre se"

Dheeraj advances threateningly towards her. Sonia says

"maine to aapko ek shareef aadmi samjhaa thaa, aap to bilkul neech nikle"

"मैने तो आपको एक शरीफ़ आदमी समझा था, आप तो बिलकुल नीच निकले"

He retorts with

"neech aadmi bhee vohee kaam karte haiN jo shareef karte haiN"

"नीच आदमी भी वोही काम करते हैं जो शरीफ़ करते हैं"

and moves on to molest her. You have to see the leer on his face when he says that. Bang on Mr Prem Chopra and so true.

Agar maarnaa ho to bolne kee zaroorat kyaa hai

Film : Satya

Year of release : 1998

Spoken by : Satya (Chakravarthy)

Spoken to : Bhiku Mhatre (Manoj Bajpai)

An attack is made on the life of Bhiku and his men. All the attackers are killed except one. After interrogating him, Bhiku discovers that it was Gurunarayan (another gangster who had not openly come out as his rival) who had ordered the killing. An angry Bhiku loses control and shouts

"Suar ko ghar meN ghus ke maaregaa maiN"

"सूअर को घर में घुस के मारेगा मैं"

At this point in time, Bhiku has only reacted and has not seriously considered the possibility of killing Gurunarayan. It is almost like we would threaten a close friend with murder. But a very serious and sober Satya converts that reaction statement to an action statement by asking a very germane question.

"Agar maarnaa ho, to bolne kee zaroorat kyaa hai?"

"अगर मारना हो, तो बोलने की ज़रूरत क्या है?"

One of the perennial problem with a lot of people is all talk and no action - which incidentally shortens to a famous Carnatic Raag ATANA. A resolute Satya here is talking of 'Direct Action' - something of the kind Jinnah had proposed.

There are two theories here - one which says that you should not disclose your intentions when you decide to do something. There are others who, like Babe Ruth's famous called shot, believe in saying something and doing it. But at the moment to me, Satya's logic seems stronger

"अगर मारना हो, तो बोलने की ज़रूरत क्या है?"

Afsos ke log doodh se bhee jal jaate haiN

Film : Paakeezah
Year of release : 1972
Spoken by : Salim Ahmed Khan (Raaj Kumar)
Spoken to : Hakim saahab (Sapru)

Paakeezah is another film where the writing has what we call 'nafaasat' - a kind of finesse which is very rare in Hindi films. Salim is in front of his family patriarch who has objected to his bringing Saahib Jaan (Meena Kumari) home without determining her pedigree. He has had a similar experience with Shahabuddin (Ashok Kumar) who had, many years ago, brought a woman called Nargis (Meena Kumari again) home. So he says

"Jo log doodh se jal jaate haiN, wo chhaachh bhee phoonk phoonk kar peete haiN"
"जो लोग दूध से जल जाते हैं, वो छाछ भी फूंक फूंक कर पीते हैं"

A visibly irritated Salim retorts with this great line

"Afsos ke log doodh se bhee jal jaate haiN"
"अफ़सोस के लोग दूध से भी जल जाते हैं"

He is referring to the benign nature of milk and using it to hit back at his grandfather's proverb.

This Hindi equivalent of 'once bitten twice shy" is oft used by people. So if it is used in a situation where you disagree, go ahead and say

"अफ़सोस के लोग दूध से भी जल जाते हैं"

Inkaa exam hai?

Film: Vivaah

Year of release: 2006

Spoken by : Rahul (Ameya Pandya)

Spoken to : Bhavna (Lata Sabharwal)

I found it very difficult to watch this film. Not because it wasn't a nice film. It was. Not because the performances were not good. They were. But while watching the film, my brain kept rejecting everything thrown at it. The songs were atrocious. Hard to fathom why Suraj chose Daddu (Ravindra Jain) for the music. Suraj says it is because he could write lines like 'samarpan kee belaa' to describe the first night meeting. I wonder why he couldn't have outsourced the music at least. Coming back to the post, this is the scene where Prem (Shahid Kapoor) and Poonam (Amrita Rao) meet for the first time. Bhavna (Prem's bhabhee) decide to leave them alone and take little Rahul (Prem's nephew) also along. Before leaving them, Bhavna says - 'all the best'.

Little Rahul is perplexed and asks

"inka exam hai?"

"इनका इग्ज़ॅम है?"

One of the few genuine mirthful moments of the film. With films like Return of the Jewel Thief, you can laugh at them, if not with them. But in movies like Vivaah, even that is not possible without feeling guilty. You run the risk of being dubbed as heartless and emotionless.

MaiN tumheN is tarah Khaamosh naheeN hone dooNgaa

Film : Anand

Year of release : 1971

Spoken by : Dr Bhaskar (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Anand Sehgal (Rajesh Khanna)

This is the climax scene of the tear-jerker Anand. Still manages to clean my eyes out, though I would have seen it over 100 times.

Anand is bed-ridden and about to breathe his last. Suddenly a desperate Dr Bhaskar tells Dr Prakash Kulkarni (Ramesh Deo) that Dr Shastri (who is a cancer specialist) might have found some new miraculous cure for the disease and rushes out to Dr. Shastri's house. A dying Anand begs Bhaskar to stay, as he knows that it is futile to find a cure at this late stage. Even Prakash tells Bhaskar not to be foolish and stay with Anand during his dying moments. But a stubborn Bhaskar goes anyway.

While Bhaskar is away, Anand is dying and asks for Bhaskar. When he realises that Bhaskar is not there, he asks Prakash to play the tape which has Bhaskar's and his voice. It is the same "maut too ek kavita hai" poem in Bhaskar's voice which ends with the "zindagi aur maut to oopar waale..." dialogue (which you can read here). If you have seen the scene, you would remember that between Bhaskar's poem and Anand's dialogue there is a long interlude when Anand is figuring out what he should say. In fact, Bhaskar has to goad him with the famous 'tumhe bhee bolnaa paDegaa bolne ke liye" dialogue (Read it here). This interlude is used very cleverly in the climax.

So as Anand listens to the poem on death in his friend Bhaskar's voice, he dies with a last scream of "babu moshaai". There is a hushed silence all around. This is broken by Bhaskar who bursts into the room with

"Prakash, Dr. Shastri..."

He breaks off as he realises that Anand is dead. He turns to the supine form of his friend and delivers those great lines which will give you gooseflesh even if you are part human. Full humans beware.

"naheeN ...maiN tumheN is tarah Khamosh naheeN hone dooNgaa"

"नहीं...मैं तुम्हें इस तरह ख़ामोश नहीं होने दूंगा"

"Chhah maheene se tumhaaree bak bak sun rahaa hooN maiN"

"छह महीने से तुम्हारी बक बक सुन रहा हूं मैं"

"bol bol ke meraa sar khaa gaye ho tum. bolo...baateN karo mujhse - baateN karo mujhse - baateN karo mujhse"

"बोल बोल के मेरा सर खा गये हो तुम. बोलो...बातें करो मुझसे - बातें करो मुझसे - बातें करो मुझसे"

That's when the tape interlude ends and Anand's voice rings out from the Sony tape recorder. For a moment, everyone feels that the prankster in Anand has actually come to the fore. In a moment they realise, it is only the tape. That's when the words dry up and everyone breaks down. Great scene.

Jab pati apnee patni ko kuchh aur nahee de saktaa to usko credit card detaa hai

Film : Dhoom Dhadakka

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Johnny English (Satish Kaushik)

Spoken to : Secretary Jia (Deepshikha)

This is a silly line. But when I saw the movie I liked it, hence I am featuring it here. Johnny English has this Karamchand-Kittyish relation with his secretary, though unlike Karamchand he is not intelligent. But he prefaces his witticisms with

"नॉलॆज के लिये लिखो, जब पति अपनी पत्नी को कुछ और नहीं दे सकता तो उसको क्रेडिट कार्ड देता है"

"knowledge ke liye likho, jab pati apnee patnee ko kuchh aur naheeN de saktaa to usko credit card detaa hai"

These days whenever I meet someone who says that he has taken an add-on card and given it to his wife, I find it difficult to suppress a smile. Silly as I said, but then one should do silly things once in a while.

Here's to silliness.

Ye Bruce Lee kaa naheeN Osama kaa zamaanaa hai

Film : Contract

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Karim Ali (Ranjeev Verma)

Spoken to : Allwyn (Yasir Khan)

Allwyn is a henchman of RD. He is always showing off kick-boxing moves and he is also a Bruce Lee look alike. In one such face-off with another gangmember Karim Ali, Karim whips out a revolver and says

"ये ब्रूस ली का नहीं ओसामा का ज़माना है"

"Ye Bruce Lee kaa naheeN Osama kaa zamaanaa hai"

This is an obvious reference to the fact that UAC or unarmed combat is not effective in the age of AK47s.

Qutub minar par malaai maar ke le aa

Film : Road

Year of release: 2002

Spoken by : Babu (Manoj Bajpai)

Spoken to : Dhaba waiter

Manoj Bajpai excelled in this film as Babu, the criminal. The couple in love - Arvind and Lakshmi (Vivek Oberoi and Antara Mali) see the first glimpse of his darker side at the dhaabaa. They have given him a lift. He forces them to stop a dhaabaa saying he is very hungry. When the dhaabaa waiter comes to serve him, Babu asks him

"kyaa milegaa?"

The dhaabaa waiter says

"sab kuchh milegaa"

Babu responds with

"Qutub minar par malaai maar ke le aa"

"क़ुतुब मीनार पर मलाई मार के ले आ"

Now this is a perfectly normal joke, but it is the way Babu says it that underlines a certain menace to his character. He follows this line by asking the waiter boy why he had said 'sab kuchh milegaa'. The audience and the waiter boy both are very uncomfortable with this character called Babu by now. The young couple have started wondering now, but the full import will hit them soon after.

So. If you stop by at a restaurant where the waiter tells you 'sab kuchh milegaa' try this line. Unless you say it the way Babu says it, I think you will only generate laughter.

Yeh vo log haiN jinheN saDkoN pe baTue mile aur unhone lauTaaye naheeN

Film : Anari
Year of release : 1959
Spoken by : Ramlal (Motilal)
Spoken to : Raj (Raj Kapoor)

The first time I 'heard' this film, this was the line that stayed with me. I finally managed to dig up the DVD to confirm the exact words. Yes you read right - I said 'heard' this movie. There used to be a program called Chitradhwani on Vividh Bharti. I think that was way back in 1989. I saw the movie for the first time in 2008. But for some strange reason this line stayed with me all this while.

Raj is searching for his 50 p which has fallen on the road, when he is almost knocked over by Ramlal’s car. Ramlal angrily gets down and accuses him of trying to extort money by purposely coming under his car. Later when he realizes Raj’s honesty, he offers him money. Raj refuses. Ramlal offers to take him to a hotel and feed him instead. Raj refuses that too. While leaving, Ramlal drops his wallet accidentally. Raj picks it up and has to fight off local loafers who accuse him of being a thief, before he can take the wallet back to Ramlal. Even Raj's landlady Mrs. L D'sa (Lalita Pawar) suspects him initially. Once she realises he is honest, she forces him to immediately go and return the wallet to Ramlal. Ramlal is having lunch in Hotel Shan Mahal (a none-too-veiled reference to the five star hotel Taj Mahal). Raj is unable to get in as the doorman thinks he is a low class person. Raj fishes out the wallet to try and explain to the doorman. The doorman is overly impressed by the wallet and immediately allows him in.

When he finally meets Ramlal, this is the exchange between the two of them. Truly a classic of Hindi cinema.

"Tum jaante ho is batue me kitne rupaye haiN?

"Bahut se rupaye haiN"

"Aur tum ye mujhe waapas karne aaye ho?"

"Jee haaN"

"Tab to tum bilkul anaaRi ho"

"dekhiye is batue ke liye aaj lord ke saamne merii beizzati ho gayee, aur ab aap mujhe anaRi kehte hain!"

"BaiTho. dekhte ho yeh rangeen zindagi. Heerey moti jawaaharaat se ladee ye auraten, bhaDkeele qahqahe lagaane vaale ye mard, ye log sab kaun haiN?"

"Mujhe nahee maaloom"

"Ye vo log haiN jinhe saDkoN pe batue mile, aur unhone lautaaye naheeN"

" ये वो लोग हैं जिन्हे सड़कों पे बटुए मिले और उन्होंने लौटाये नहीं"
"Jee ye sab mujhe jaanne kee zaroorat naheeN"

For a long time, the general populace in India thought that it was not possible to be rich and to be honest at the same time. I have mentioned this earlier in my blog too. Read this post.

I do think that times have changed. But every now and then when I am at a party, where the ostentation is atrocious, I am reminded of this line.

English boltaa hai

Film: Agnipath

Year of release : 1990

Spoken by : Vijay Deenanath Chauhan (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Commissioner M S Gaitonde (Vikram Gokhale)

This line was often used by a colleague of mine, whenever he thought someone was using too much English. Although this is not what Bachchan means in the film. We will come to that in a while. It is strange that the Big B today is known more for his 'maaloom' and 'HaiN' mannerism which is entirely from Agnipath. Though he won his first national award for this film, he almost seems like a parody of his own personality. This is the introductory scene of Amitabh in Agnipath. He is sitting in front of the commissioner of police, who is trying to warn him of the dangers of continuing on the path of crime. Vijay gives a lot of 'gyaan' back to the commissioner. I will cover those in some other posts. But as a direct response to Gaitonde's warning, he whips out a diary from his pocket and says

"yeh dekhaa haiN...haaN? aaj shaam 6 baje maut ke saath apenTmenT hai"

then he pauses and asks the commissioner

"English boltaa hai?...abhee chaltaa hai"

"इंग्लिश बोलता है?...अभी चलता है"

Indians have a very strange relationship with the English language. Here is a gangster, who is uneducated and uses one English word. After using the word, he is asking a commissioner of police (who obviously has cleared the civil services exam) if he speaks and understands English. Hilarious. Later in the same film, in the famous 'I am not a goonda' scene, when a waiter walks up to him and says 'excuse me', Vijay goes wild and breaks a few cups and plates and chides the waiter with

"tum kyaa english boltaa hai"

"तुम क्या इंग्लिश बोलता है"

But a great line to use - multiple usages. Use it like my colleague did, or use it like Vijay did. Your choice.

And finally, it is not "Agneepath" but "Agnipath". But then Karan Johar and family does not know too much Hindi. Nor did Mukul S Anand. Surprising though - Amitabh does.

Now that you have read this post, it's my turn to ask you -

"English boltaa hai?...abhee chaltaa hai"

"इंग्लिश बोलता है?...अभी चलता है"

Utarte huye sooraj meN bhee bahut tapish hai

Film : Jodha Akbar

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Sujamal (Sonu Sood)

Spoken to : Jodha (Aishwarya Rai)

Shujamal has been passed over for the kingship of Aamer. He leaves the court of Raja Bhaarmal (Kulbhushan Kharbanda) in a huff. Jodha tries to stop him, but he doesn't wait. But while leaving he says,

"to yaad rakhiyegaa jodhaa , utarte huye sooraj meN bhee bahut tapish hai"

"तो याद रखियेगा जोधा, उतरते हुये सूरज में भी बहुत तपिश है"

He later goes and meets Sharifuddin (Nikitin Dheer). Sharifudin agrees to put in a word for him, but he asks for Sujamal's support for attacking Akbar as a return favour.

Achchhaa kyaa aur buraa kyaa sab bekaar kee baateN haiN

Film : Devdas

Year of release : 1955

Spoken by : Devdas (Dilip Kumar)

Spoken to : Chunilal (Motilal)

A distraught Devdas runs away to Calcutta, when his parents refuse to accede to his marriage with Paro. There he meets Chunilal, the inveterate wine-and-women-worshipper. He asks Chuni Babu to take him to the nautch girl whom Chuni visits often. Chuni is hesitant. He says

"chal to sakte haiN...par wo jagah achchhee nahee hai"

And a visibly irritated Devdas says

"Achchhaa kyaa aur buraa kyaa, sab bekaar kee baateN haiN"

"अच्छा क्या और बुरा क्या, सब बेकार की बातें हैं"

There are times when faced with the practical difficulties of life, you find it very difficult to do, what you think is the right thing. At such a time, if someone turns moralistic on you, you would find yourself mouthing this line.

I must say one thing. All Bimal Roy films are still very watchable. Bimal Roy did not drink himself. But he made a helluva Devdas.

Jo log dhoti pahante haiN na, vo doosroN kee saaRee naheeN utaarte

Film : Woodstock Villa
Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Mr. Chawla (Shakti Kapoor)

Spoken to : Sameer (Sikandar Kher)

Mr. Chawla is Sameer's landlord. He refers to Sameer's vulnerability and says

"Jo log dhoti pahante haiN na, vo doosroN kee saaRee naheeN utaarte"

kabhee kabhee daave dilchasp bhee huaa karte haiN

Film: Mughal-e-azam

Year of release: 1960

Spoken by : Salim (Dilip Kumar)

Spoken to : Bahar (Nigar Sultana)

The language used in this film is so beautiful that even straightforward lines become classics. The modern day 'get out' becomes - 'taKhaliyaa', the modern day 'shut up' becomes 'sukoot ho' and so on.

When the statue made by sangtaraash (Kumar) is to be unveiled, Bahar tells Salim

"sangtaraash kaa ye daavaa hai, ke jab ye mujassamaa benaqaab hogaa to..."

"संगतराश का ये दावा है, कि जब ये मुजस्समा बेनक़ाब होगा तो..."

And she pauses. Prince Salim urges her to go on

"beKhauf hokar kaho. kabhee kabhee daave dilchasp bhee huaa karte haiN"

"बेख़ौफ़ होकर कहो. कभी कभी दावे दिलचस्प भी हुआ करते हैं"

Such lines make you realise the power of words, the power of language. If language was all about communication, then we never really needed anything beyond sign language. It is a potent force. It can make you feel good. I am also reminded of a couplet by Javed Akhtar

"हम से दिलचस्प कभी सच्चे नहीं होते

अच्छे लगते हैं मगर अच्छे नहीं होते"

Joke sunaayaa iskaa ye matlab naheeN kee joke kar rahaa thaa

Film : Woodstock Villa
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Sameer (Sikandar Kher)
Spoken to : Jatin Kampani (Arbaaz Khan)

Woodstock Villa is a film noire - a dark film. You keep wondering about the protagonist's real motives. Sameer kidnaps Jatin's wife and when he gives him a ransom call, tells him a joke. Later he uses this line to ensure that Jatin gets serious.

"Joke sunaayaa iskaa ye matlab naheeN kee joke kar rahaa thaa"

"जोक सुनाया इसका ये मतलब नहीं कि जोक कर रहा था"

Jab sar kaTne vaalaa hai to daaDhee karane se kyaa faaydaa

Film: Contract

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Goonga (Upendra Limaye)

Spoken to : IB operative (Vikas Shrivastav)

Goonga is an underworld don - who is the government's favourite. The intelligence bureau is pinning its hopes on him to eliminate the rival dons (viz., RD and Sultan). He is paranoid about his security and he runs his business and home from a boat which keeps moving around in the sea. However, all his plans to assassinate his rival RD are failing. And he is losing a lot of his men too. He is in a pensive mood and fiddling around with his electric shaver - but not using it. The IB operative asks him

"Aajkal tu shave-wave naheeN kar rahaa?

To which he responds

"Ab sar kaTne vaalaa hai to daaDhee karane se kyaa faaydaa"

"अब सर कटने वाला है तो दाढ़ी करने से क्या फ़ायदा"

Paani aur tamannaaoN kee taaseer ek hai

Film : Jodha Akbar
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Sharifuddin Hussain (Nikitin Dheer)
Spoken to : Sujamal (Sonu Sood)

When Sujamal is not crowned as the King of Aamer (though rightfully he should have), he rebels and leaves his erstwhile kingdom. He starts lobbying with neighbouring kings for his right. One such king is Sharifuddin. He agrees to help Sujamal, but asks him point blank as to what he can expect in return. Sujamal agrees to do anything for him. Sharifuddin says he should help him to attack Agra (i.e. Akbar himself). Sujamal is surprised, since Sharifuddin is married to Akbar's sister. Sharifuddin responds with this flowery dialogue

"jaante hain Sujamal, paani aur tamannaaoN kee taaseer ek hai. Aage baDhte jaanaa. Ab hame mukammal hindustaan chaahiye"
"जानते हैं सुजामल, पानी और तमन्नाओं की तासीर एक है. आगे बढ़ते जाना. अब हमे मुकम्मल हिन्दुस्तान चाहिये"

This is so true. I don't know about 'paanii', but 'tamannaa' keeps on growing. I guess that is the key to all progress in this world. And will be the key to all destruction too!

dimaaG pe bojh naheeN Daalte

Film: Ek Chaadar Mailee Sii

Year of release: 1986

Spoken by : Tirloka (Kulbhushan KharbanDa)

Spoken to : Various characters

This is one of the underrated films of Bollywood. A story written by Rajinder Singh Bedi, screenplay by Phani Majumdar and cinematography by Shaji N Karun and of course, excellent performances by Hema Malini, Kulbhushan Kharbanda and Rishi Kapoor. This has excellent credentials. And it lives up to its potential. Do watch it if you already haven't. You will like it for its raunchy Punjabi humour, if not for everything else that I have listed.

On to the featured line now. this is the 'takiaa kalaam' or shibboleth that Tirloka uses in the film. He plays a chauvinistic, alcoholic and wife-beating horse buggy driver in this film. One night when he returns home, he has brought a chicken dish from the local restaurant. His wife asks him what has he brought. And he says

"दिमाग़ पे बोझ नहीं डालते"

which means, one should not needlessly tax one's brains. 'Take a chill pill' or 'cool it' are phrases which are close approximations. Now Tirloka is a character who puts his money where his mouth is. For sure, in this film, he does not tax his brains at all. He is satisfied with enjoying his alcohol and chicken and his wife Rani (Hema Malini) at regular intervals (probably daily). In a key turning point in the story, one day he sees a girl at the station whose brother has been left behind at an earlier station and she looks quite lost. He offers to take her to an inn run by Chaudhary. She objects saying she does not have any money. He again uses his favourite line

"दिमाग़ पे बोझ नहीं डालते. भाई कल आकर दे जायेगा"

The girl agrees. Later the Chaudhary rapes the girl and sends one of his men to get rid of her body in Tirloka's buggy. He tells Tirloka that the girl had an epileptic fit. Tirloka says that could be treated by getting the girl to smell a shoe (which is the native Indian treatment for epilepsy). Chaudhary says it could bring disrepute to the inn. Tirloka wonders how epilepsy can bring disrepute to an inn, but true to his wont - gives in with the line

"दिमाग़ पे बोझ नहीं डालते"

As it later turns out, he is killed because of this attitude. In hindsight, agar woh dimaaG par bojh Daal letaa to achchhaa hotaa. But then whenever you want to convince someone not to take things too seriously, this, is a great line to use.

Is aundhee duniyaa ko seedhaa dekhanaa ho to sar ke bal khaDaa honaa paDtaa hai

Film : Shree 420

Year of release : 1955

Spoken by : Raj (Raj Kapoor)

Spoken to : Police constable

This is the famous sequence where Raj is fooling around on the Mumbai beach and the police constable has been observing his antics for a while. He is standing on his head. The police constable asks him what he is doing. Raj says

"sachchee baat to ye hai havaldaar sahib ki is aundhee duniyaa ko seedhaa dekhanaa ho to sar ke bal khaDaa honaa paDtaa hai"

Akelee ladkee khulee huyee tijori kee tarah hotee hai

Film: Jab We Met

Year of release : 2007

Spoken by : Railway Waterstall owner (Asif Basra)

Spoken to : Geet Dhillon (Kareena Kapoor)

This is one of my favourite films. Great music (although most songs are copied or inspired) and very good performance by the protagonists. So when Geet Dhillon is going back to her home in Punjab, she is left behind at a railway station. The railway waterstall owner is a loafer. When he sees her predicament, he says this line

"Akelee ladkee khulee huyee tijori kee tarah hotee hai"

"अकेली लड़की खुली हुई तिजोरी की तरह होती है"

Majority dekhkar mai bhee usee side ho gayaa

Film : Anand

Year of release : 1971

Spoken by : Dr Prakash Kulkarni (Ramesh Deo)

Spoken to : Suman Kulkarni (Seema Deo)

Another great line from that all time classic - Anand. It is not a very well known fact that the dialogues of this film were written by Gulzar. But even when I did not know this fact, I could feel the poetry in the dialogues.

At a party, when Dr Bhaskar and Anand are egging Suman to sing a song by referring to her as Bhaabhii, her husband Prakash also says

"Haan haan bhaabhee"

which results in Suman's obvious displeasure and she says (as is her wont throughout the film) something in Marathi. A sheepish looking Prakash responds with

"Majority dekhkar maiN bhee usee side ho gayaa"

"मॅजॉरिटी देखकर मैं भी उसी साइड हो गया"

I don't know if you have been in a situation where you are taking the feedback from a group of people. Most of the times if there are ten people and seven people have gone in a particular way, the other three will surely veer to that side. Such is the power of majority.

Jab shaadi karne ke liye taiyyaar hooN to maut se kyaa Darnaa

Film : Jhoothi
Year of release : 1985
Spoken by : Rasik Lal (Deven Verma)
Spoken to : Kalpana Srivastav (Rekha)

Rasik Lal goes to meet Alpana (Kalpana's sister played by Prema Narayan). He is in love with Alpana and wants to marry her. But Kalpana is upto her pranks as usual. She gets two neighbourhood kids to call Alpana their mother. A visibly confused Rasik asks

31 Carter Road yahee hai?

३९ कार्टर रोड यही है ?

Kalpana further says that Alpana's first husband is slightly unhinged and can kill on an impulse. Rasik gets scared and runs away. When he later realises that it was Kalpana's prank, he goes back. When Kalpana sees him coming back, she once again tries to spin her old story. She says that Alpana's first husband would kill him. But this time Rasik doesn't fall for it. He says,

जब शादी करने के लिए तैयार हूँ तो मौत से क्या डरना

Jab shaadii karne ke liye taiyyaar hooN to maut se kyaa Darnaa

Faisle naheeN unke nateeje Galat hote haiN

Film: Contract

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Amaan Ali Yusuf (aka Aman Mallik played by Adhvik Mahajan)

Spoken to : Ahmad Hussain (Prasad Purandare)

Contract is Ramgopal Varma's take on Govind Nihalani's Drohkaal. It is 1 hour too long. On second thoughts make that 2 hours. Jokes apart, the film could have been redeemed with tighter exposures. RGV is full of bluster and arrogance on his blog, when he says that a film is supposed to be the director's view and he cannot really take into account people's likes and dislikes. I agree with him. But Mr Varma, can you please keep the camera on the 0 feet above sea level and please switch on the tubelights on the set. I try to switch on all the tubelights in my house, but as Javed Akhtar said

"Aasoodgee se dil ke sabhee daaG dhul gaye

lekin wo kaise jaaye jo sheeshe meN baal hai"

"आसूदगी से दिल के सभी दाग़ धुल गये

लेकिन वो कैसे जाये जो शीशे में बाल है"

All the tubelights in my house cannot undo the total darkness on the screen. But then I am digressing. The protagonist has been planted by a top police operative in the terrorist camp and halfway through the film the police operative (Ahmad Hussain) asks the protagonist Amaan :

"tumheN kabhee aisaa lagaa hai ki tumne Galat faislaa kiyaa hai?"

Aman responds

"Faisle naheeN unke nateeje Galat hote haiN"

"फ़ैसले नहीं उनके नतीजे ग़लत होते हैं"

This is so true. Whenever we call a decision as wrong - it is with hindsight. And hindsight as they say has 20/20 vision.

Us waqt tumhaare paas choice naheeN thii

Film : Road
Year of release : 2002
Spoken by : Babu (Manoj Bajpai)
Spoken to : Lakshmi (Antara Mali)

This was a line that I was looking for a long long time. It has special relevance for me. I will tell you why, later.

Road is a thriller which, as the name suggests, revolves around a road journey which becomes a nightmare. Babu, a criminal, takes a lift from Arvind (Vivek Oberoi) and Lakshmi. Halfway through the journey, he hijacks the Tata Safari along with Lakshmi, leaving Arvind stranded in the middle of the highway. He also develops a liking for Lakshmi and asks her would she have chosen Arvind if she had met both Babu and Arvind at the same time. As he puts it while describing the situation,

"तो तुम किसे पसन्द करतीं, उसे...या मुझे...उस वक़्त तुम्हारे पास चॉइस नहीं थी...सोच में पड़ गयी ना, जब चुनने का वक़्त आया...चॉइस चॉइस की बात है"

"to tum kise pasand karteeN, use ya mujhe...us waqt tumhaare paas choice naheeN thii. soch meN paD gayeeN naa, jab chunane kaa waqt aayaa. choice choice kee baat hai"

I have worked in the insurance industry where for over 50 years, the customers had only one service provider - LIC. And while peddling the private insurers products I often tell people, that they bought LIC when they did because

उस वक़्त उनके पास चॉइस नही थी

Aap convince ho gaye, ya maiN aur bolooN

Film : Jab We Met

Year of release : 2007

Spoken by : Geet Dhillon

Spoken to : Ticket checker

Any sales guy would have gone through this feeling some time or the other in his life. When you try and convince a prospect, you keep wondering whether you have said enough. Indian prospects are particularly cryptic. Since we Indians do not like saying 'No', we try and find a thousand mechanisms to defer and delay without saying a straightforward no. In such situations, I think this is a good line to use.

The scenario is that Aditya (Shahid Kapoor) is sitting on a train berth looking totally disappointed and dejected. He has lost in love and hence all desire to live too. Geet is another passenger in this coach. She has constantly been trying to engage him in lively banter. He has been absolutely oblivious to her. When the ticket checker arrives, it is discovered that Aditya is WT (or without ticket). Geet pleads Aditya's case with the TC. She is trying to talk him into taking a lenient view of Aditya's ticketless travel. After she has spoken for about 60 seconds in her garrulous style, she pauses to check if her pleas have registered. She says,

"आप कंविंस हो गये, या मैं और बोलूं?"

"Aap convince ho gaye, yaa maiN aur bolooN"

Yeh ...to peT meN daaDhee rakhtee hai

Film : Jhoothi
Year of release : 1985
Spoken by : Seema's mother (Dina Pathak)
Spoken to : Kalpana Srivastav (Rekha)

Kalpana pretends as if Dr Anil Gupta was a man of bad character to wriggle out of a tight situation. Later when Seema (Supriya Pathak)'s mother (played by Dina Pathak) finds out that she had lied about Dr. Anil. She remarks

ये लडकी तो पेट में दाढी रखती है

which is used to indicate a person who is precocious. Someone who looks young but shows the wisdom of an old person.

BaDe log badtameezee bhee karte haiN to baDee

Film : Main Tulsi tere Aangan Ki
Year of release : 1978
Spoken by : Thakur Ajmer Singh (Goga Kapoor)
Spoken to : Ajay Chauhan (Vinod Khanna)

During a polo match, Naini (Neeta Mehta) also comes to join Ajay and Pratap (Deb Mukherjee)'s team. Thakur Ajmer Singh (the opponents' captain Goga Kapoor) suggests that Naini is being included to distract them. He says

"कभी हम इनकी ख़ूबसूरत आंखों को देखेंगे, कभी हम इनकी पतली कमर को देखेंगे, कभी..."
"kabhii hum inkee khoobsoorat aankhoN ko dekhenge
kabhee hum inkee patlee kamar ko dekhenge, kabhee... "
"Ajmer singh, shut up", says Naini. If she had not interjected (on behalf of the censors methinks), Ajmer would have made some uncivil references about some body parts of Naini.
Ajay says they didn't need distractions to beat Ajmer. But he says he was surprised such a "puraane thakur vansh kaa sapoot ek laDkee se itnee baDee badtameezee kar rahaa hai".

Ajmer comes up with a line that could be best described as 'noblesse oblige' in reverse.

"BaDe log badtameezee bhee karte haiN to baDee"

"बड़े लोग बद्तमीज़ी भी करते हैं तो बड़ी"

There was a time when you would expect eminent people to be role models. These days if at all they are role models - then it is for the wrong things.

So if you belong to the tribe called 'baDe log' and are wont to committing 'badtameezee', justify your acts with this classic,

बड़े लोग बद्तमीज़ी भी करते हैं तो बड़ी

My first century - and a dedication

Eight months ago, a chance comment from a friend of mine prompted me to start this blog.

My first post

Little did I know that within such a short time, I would have such a regular readership. While looking at the list of posts, I realised that this would be the 100th post. Special circumstances deserve special solutions. So the 100th post has been written by a guest contributor. Who better than the man himself. Hitherto I had not named him, but now I shall name him and fame him (or shame him depending on whether you like the blog or not). Over to you Pramod

*************************************************************************************

I have been quite lucky when it comes to friends. They have always been kind and generous, both in terms of time and money. I have always been flooded with gifts and copious amounts of advice from my friends. The former I gladly accept, the latter I routinely reject politely.
A very dear friend of mine would take me to a shop and ask me to select dresses for him and on the way out would hand me a packet, saying he bought some for me too.
It was as if "My wish was their command". I happily accept goodies and gifts from my friends without reciprocating. My wife, who is also my well-wisher, absolutely abhors this habit of mine. She chides me no end when I come back and announce to her my latest possession.
I am reminded of the dialogue in Seeta Aur Geeta when Ravi (Sanjeev Kumar) introduces Geeta (Hema Malini) to his mother (Ratnamala) and she tells Ravi how beautiful Geeta is looking. Hema responds with this line

"MaiN maange huye kapdoN meiN hamesha achchhee lagtee hooN"

"मैं मांगे हुये कपड़ों में हमेशा अच्छी लगती हूं"

A slight distortion of what I tell my wife at such times. Whenever we get something free of cost, we seem to enjoy it more than if we had actually paid for it. Ghaalib also conveys this thought beautifully with his line

"muft haath aaye to maal achchhaa hai"

"मुफ़्त हाथ आये तो माल अच्छा है"

Not very true for some of my very conscientious friends though. But if you agree with me, and ever land in a similar situation, use this line.

Tumhe bhee bolnaa paDegaa bolne ke liye

Film : Anand

Year of release : 1970

Spoken by : Dr Bhaskar (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Anand Sehgal (Rajesh Khanna)

Another classic from Anand. The famous recording scene, which has the Sony tape recorder and the mike. Bhaskar has been requested by Anand to record his famous poem

"मौत तू एक कविता है, मुझसे एक कविता का वादा है मिलेगी मुझको"

And once he has done it, he asks Anand too to record something. Anand stands wondering what he should say. He says this aloud. A laconic Bhaskar says

"तुम्हे भी बोलना पड़ेगा बोलने के लिये"

"tumhe bhee bolnaa paDegaa bolne ke liye"

A great line to use with the normally garrulous when they are tongue-tied.

AankhoN dekhee makkhee niglee naheeN jaatee

Film : Lajja

Year of release : 2001

Spoken by : Hazaarilal (Govind Namdeo)

Spoken to : Nek Chand (Anjan Srivastav)

Lajja was actually a good film, which did not get its rightful due. All the female characters had names of Sita. Mythili (Mahima Chowdhury) is getting married. Her father-in-law is keen on ensuring the dowry is delivered as agreed. However, Nekchand (Mythili's father) is falling short by Rs 50000. A thief Raju (Anil Kapoor) who is hiding in Mythili's bedchamber overhears her plight and decides to help her. He goes and quietly adds Rs 50000 to the briefcase which is supposed to carry the dowry amount. Nekchand does not know this. When the money is handed over Hazaarilal, Nekchand is apprehensive that he would throw a fit due to the short amount. However, Hazarilal discovers that the amount is exactly as agreed. But one of the guests (who has been robbed by Raju) sees the money and recognises it as his own. This leads to discovery of the fact that Raju had been hiding in Mythili's bedchamber. All hell breaks loose. Hazaarilal wants to fish in troubled waters. Hence he demands more money to accept a 'tainted' Mythili as his daughter-in-law. As he puts it,

"aankhoN dekhee makkhee niglee naheeN jaatee"

"आंखों देखी मक्खी निगली नहीं जाती"

Of course, this is a famous Hindi proverb. But I have heard it for the first time in a Hindi movie in Lajja. And I quite like the way Govind Namdeo says it. It is one of Hindi cinema's better scenes. Do see this scene if you get a chance.

Of course, the line means that it is hard to accept something bad after you know about it. For example most of the restaurants in Delhi have dirty kitchens. But as long as you sit in air-conditioned comfort and don't see the kitchens you love the food. But if you happen to pass by the kitchen and realise how dirty it is, it is extremely hard to eat in that restaurant. As the saying goes

"आंखों देखी मक्खी निगली नहीं जाती"

Bachche tum jis school meN paDhte ho hum uske headmaster rah chuke haiN

Film : Haath ki Safai

Year of release : 1974

Spoken by : Shankar (Vinod Khanna)

Spoken to : Raju (Randhir Kapoor)

One of the lesser known Salim-Javed films. Not as illustrious as some of their other output, but it too has its moments.

Raju or Raju Tardeo is a pick pocket. As he is relaxing in his area, one of his acolytes comes and informs him that there is a man in the neighbourhood who has 100 Rs notes in his wallet. All of them are very excited. I remember my dad used to get a monthly salary of Rs 100 those days, but to a youngster today, this might be a cause of great surprise. Inflation my dear friends!

Anyways, our hero is lured towards his target and as he attempts to pick Shankar's pocket, Shankar is quick to catch Raju's hand in the act. He chides him with a classic 'don't teach your grandmother to suck eggs' kind of line (the best I have heard in Hindi cinema). He says

"बच्चे तुम जिस स्कूल में पढ़ते हो हम उसके हॆड़मास्टर रह चुके हैं"
"bachche tum jis school me paDhte ho ham uske headmaster rah chuke haiN"

And he follows up by delivering the title of the film in the next line. He says

"aur is purse meN rupayoN se bhee zyaadaa ek keemtee cheez hai jise churaanaa aasaan naheeN, jaao apne haath meN aur safaai paidaa karo. jaao"

"और इस पर्स में रुपयों से भी ज़्यादा एक क़ीमती चीज़ है जिसे चुराना आसान नहीं, जाओ अपने हाथ में और सफ़ाई पैदा करो. जाओ"

Of course, the 'qeematee cheez' that Shankar is referring to is the photograph of his younger brother. And his younger brother is none other than Raju Tardeo. But then if he knew that then, 12 reels of the film would have been wasted. Or saved. Depending on where you stand about the film.

Vinod Khanna makes his debut on this blog. I often used to wonder that Vinod Khanna also was a good actor, was a six footer, was good looking, well built and yet people never gave him the status that Amitabh got. I just saw the statistics of this blog and found that till date there are 11 lines of Amitabh and Vinod just made his debut. I think I know the answer now.

Maine to kulhaaDee pe pair maaraa hai

Film : Golmaal
Year of release : 1979
Spoken by : Ramprasad Sharma (Amol Palekar)
Spoken to : Ratna (Manju Singh)

There is a saying in Hindi

खरबूज़ा छुरी पर गिरे या छुरी खरबूज़े पर

which means that whether the musk melon falls on the knife or the knife falls on the musk melon, the end result is one and the same. The knife is not harmed while the melon is cut open.

In this film, Ramprasad says

"लोग तो पैरों पर कुल्हाड़ी मारते हैं, मैने तो कुल्हाड़ी पर पैर मारा है"
"Log to pairon pe kulhaadi maarte hain main to kulhaaDi par pair maaraa hai"

At first glance, there seems to be no difference. But Ramprasad is referring to his act of having proffered to teach his boss's daughter as an act of Himalayan stupidity. Hence 'kulhaaDee par pair maaraa hai'. Because if you have to go and bang your legs against an axe, physically you will have to align your legs in a particular manner and hence it would be more difficult than hitting your legs with an axe.

Aaj kee raat tumhe vidya kee zaroorat nahee maayaa ki zaroorat hai

Film : Shree 420

Year of release : 1955

Spoken by : Seth Sonachand Dharmanand (Nemo)

Spoken to : Raj Kumar (Raj Kapoor)

This comes during Raj's interaction with Sonachand just before the MuD muD ke song. Vidya (which means knowledge) is Nargis' name in this film. Maya (which means illusion) is Nadira's name. Raj Kapoor had a fetish for this silly symbolism. You can see that in Sangam when the three people are reading Time, Life and Fortune. Here the symbolism is closer home. Maya has insulted Vidya at a party to which Raj had invited her. She runs out with Raj in hot pursuit. As Vidya goes out of the revolving door, Seth Sonachand comes in and sees Raj calling after Vidya. He pauses and says,

"आज की रात तुम्हे विद्या की ज़रूरत नहीं, माया की ज़रूरत है"

"Aaj kee raat tumhe vidya kee zaroorat naheeN, maya kee zaroorat hai"

which is a none-too-veiled reference to the fact that the party would involve a bit of gambling and in such a milieu, it is not knowledge but the illusive and elusive 'maayaa' that would be required.

Four decades of post-independence education in India were devoted to rote learning and 'collecting' knowledge for the heck of it. Vocational education or training was looked down upon. Though this trend is changing of late. Though there are still heavy school bags and school teachers focussing on learning by rote, the entire education system is slowly realising the fact that

'tumhe vidya kee zaroorat nahee maayaa kee zaroorat hai'

Chapraasee ke kaan oopar ke baraasee aur neeche ke teraasee

Film : Bunty aur Babli
Year of release : 2005
Spoken by : Dashrath Singh (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Phoolwati (Pratima Kazmi)

This is a line that I do not understand, but am still posting it with the message

अगर इसे समझ सको मुझे भी समझाओ

Then why am I posting it here. Because I liked the line for its unique sound.

The situation is that Dashrath Singh is called into investigate the "sale" of Taj Mahal, which by the way is Amar Singh's dig at Mayawati. The chief minister of Uttar Pradesh is called Phoolsakhee which sounds suspiciously close to Mayawati. In fact, Pratima Kazmi even looks like Mayawati in this movie.

Back at the ranch, Dashrath Singh immediately zeroes in onto the fact that this could not have been done without internal collusion. He further zeroes in onto the peon or चपड़ासी as it is called in Hindi. His logic is

"chapraasee ke kaan oopar ke baraasee aur neeche ke teraasee"

"चपड़ासी के कान ऊपर के बरासी और नीचे के तेरासी"

I think he means that a peon is most clued onto the various goings-on in an organisation. I remember the comment made by one of my bosses. He used to say that an organisational rots either at the head or at the bottom. A peon is privy to so much information at times. I would also put cab drivers in the same league. In my previous organisation, the cab driver used to listen very intently to what everyone was saying and within six months, he knew more about the company strategy than the CEO himself.

Though you cannot use it anywhere, and I do not really know what this means, but what the heck. Here it is. Do put in a comment if you know what it means.

Shaadii karne se to khaanaa achchhaa hai

Film : Anand
Year of release : 1971
Spoken by : Dr Bhaskar (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Raghu Kaka

This is one of my personal favourites for entirely personal reasons. :)

Raghu Kaka (I dont know who is the character who plays this role, so if someone knows the answer please do tell me, because he did a damn good job and he deserves to be named and 'famed') is the man friday in Bhaskar's household. But many times he serves the dinner on the dining table, only to find that Bhaskar hasn't touched it. Bhaskar of course is busy reading some medical journal or some case papers. On one such occasion, Raghu Kaka's concern turns to frustration.

He tells Bhaskar to get married. He reasons that, then he could retire and go to his village and absolve himself of the crime of not feeding Bhaskar properly.

"तुझे अपने हाथों से पाला है ना, तुझे इस हाल में देख भी नहीं सकता और छोड़ भी नहीं सकता"

The angst in his voice hits home and a sardonic Bhaskar agrees to have dinner immediately, because

"shaadee karne se to khaanaa achchhaa hai"

"शादी करने से तो खाना अच्छा है"

Every time I see Anand, this line makes me smile. Next time you see this movie, pay attention to this line. I am sure it will make you smile.

Form bharnaa zarooree hai kyaa

Film : Munnabhai MBBS
Year of release : 2003
Spoken by : Murli prasad Sharma (Sanjay Dutt)
Spoken to : Dr J Dot Asthana (Baman Irani)


The occasion is the initial welcome lecture for all 1st year MBBS students. The dean, J dot Asthana finishes the speech, wishes everyone luck and asks the customary - "any questions" question. A hand goes up and says

"Yes sir. Yes. Wo baahar casualty me koii marne kee haalat me rahaa to usko form bharnaa zaroori hai kyaa"

"यॅस सर. यॅस. वो बाहर कॅशुयल्टी में कोई मरनी की हालत मे रहा तो उसको फ़ॉर्म भरना ज़रूरी है क्या"

A shocked dean is stunned to find the hand and the subsequent question belongs to none other than his bete noire Munna. He is too stunned to respond. He merely addresses the entire group and says,

"Tumhaaree classes kal subah aath baje shuru hogee. Thank you very much."

"तुम्हारी क्लासिज़ कल सुबह आठ बजे शुरु होंगी. थॅंक यू वॅरी मच"

The bureaucratic 'form' culture is so prevalent everywhere. If you want to use the documents available on a website, they will ask you to log in with a form. You want to add your name to the electoral roll, there is a form. Great. Now if the clerks mess it up and mangle your name, you need to fill another form to change the name on the card. It really becomes irritating at times. Even in private sector organisations (which are supposed to be dynamic), there are elaborate forms for getting two whiteboard markers from the stationery chest.

So next time you are part of some admin or ops shop, asks yourself this question before devising a form -

"ये फ़ॉर्म भरना ज़रूरी है क्या?"

Yeh kaneez Jalaaluddin Mohammad Akbar ko apnaa Khoon maaf kartee hai

Film : Mughal-e-Aazam
Year of release : 1960
Spoken by : Anarkali (Madhubala)
Spoken to : Akbar (Prithviraj Kapoor)

ये कनीज़ जलालुद्दीन मुहम्मद अक्बर को अपना ख़ून माफ़ करती है

Mughal-e-Aazam is of course full of great lines. Most of them generally require a dictionary to unravel and decode. This is one of the simpler lines. But equally effective.

As the film is coming to an end, Akbar goes to meet Anarkali. He tells her that due to her, the son and father are at loggerheads. He makes it clear that he cannot allow her to live. Anaarkali resigns herself to her fate, but not without this parting shot. This line brings out the proud dignity in that character. Though I would shudder to think that a maid actually would have the courage to say this to an emperor. But then as they say, this is the stuff that legends are made on.

"ये कनीज़ जलालुद्दीन मोहम्मद अक्बर को अपना ख़ून माफ़ करती है"

Now where in the wide world can you use this line. Sure. One of my friends changes her job every six months. She is very good looking and somehow still manages to find a new job every six months. It could be because of her looks, could be because of her business contacts. But whenever she resigns she tells me

"MaiN Akbar ko apnaa khoon maaf kar aayee"

Though I think it is more appropriate to be used, if you are fired, not when you resign. But anyways, people use film lines the way they want to. It is not a violation of the Cinematography Act 1952. Whatever!

Bhagwaan kare golee chalaate waqt tere haath naa kaaNpe

Film : Deewar
Year of release : 1975
Spoken by : Sumitra Verma (Nirupa Roy)
Spoken to : Ravi Verma (Shashi Kapoor)

Making it a double bill for Deewar.

Indian films do have a fetish for the idealistic, fastidious mother character. The mother sticks to her ideals come what may. In this scene, Ravi is going after his brother Vijay. The mother realises that there might be a scenario where only one of them might come out alive. She does not do what Kunti did in Mahabharat. She does not go and beg the 'bad' son to spare the life of her 'good' son. Instead, she takes an unequivocal stand. She tells the 'good' son - go, go and do your duty. And I wish and hope that at the crunch moment your hand should not shake.

This is the pocket edition Nirupama Roy version of the Bhagavad Geeta.

Great line to use when someone in your team is going out for a sales call. Sales guys generally succeed by 'killing' the customer. And you would want to ensure

"भगवान करे गोली चलाते वक़्त तेरे हाथ ना कांपे"

Aaj Khush to bahut hoge tum

Film : Deewar

Year of release : 1975

Spoken by : Vijay Verma (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : God Shankar :)

आज ख़ुश तो बहुत होगे तुम. देखो जो आज तक तुम्हारे मन्दिर की सीढियां नहीं चढा, जिसने आज तक तुम्हारे सामने सर नहीं झुकाया...जिसने आज तक कभी तुम्हारे सामने हाथ नहीं जोड़े ...वो आज तुम्हारे सामने हाथ फैलाये खडा है

aaj ...khush to bahut hoge tum। Dekho... jo aaj tak tumhaare mandir kee seedhiyaaN naheeN chaDha ..jisne aaj tak tumhaare saamne sar naheeN jhukaayaa...jisne aaj tak kabhi tumhaare saamne haath nahee joDe ... woh... aaj tumhaare saamne haath phailaaye khaDaa hai।

bahut khush hoge tum...bahut khush hoge ki aaj maiN...yahaaN aayaa...lekin tum jaante ho ki jis waqt main yahaaN khaDaa hoon...woh aurat, jiske maathe se tumhaaree chaukhaT ka patthar ghis gayaa, wo aurat, jispar zulm baDhe, to uskee poojaa baDhee, wo aurat jo zindagi bhar jaltii rahee magar tumhaare mandir meN deep jalaatee rahee ...WOH AURAT...woh aurat aaj zindagi aur maut ki sarhad par khaDee hai.

बहुत ख़ुश होगे तुम...बहुत ख़ुश होगे कि आज मैं...यहां आया...लेकिन तुम जानते हो कि जिस वक़्त मैं यहां खड़ा हूं...वो औरत, जिसके माथे से तुम्हारी चौखट का पत्थर घिस गया, वो औरत, जिस पर ज़ुल्म बढ़े, तो उसकी पूजा बढ़ी, वो औरत जो ज़िन्दगी भर जलती रही मगर तुम्हारे मन्दिर में दीप जलाती रही...वो औरत...वो औरत आज ज़िन्दगी और मौत की सरहद पर खड़ी है.

kyaa qasoor hai uskaa, kaunsaa paap, kaunsa jurm kiyaa hai usne. kyaa uskaa jurm ye hai ki wo merii maa hai, kya uskaa jurm ye hai ki usne mujhe janam diyaa hai, kyaa uskaa jurm ye hai ki main usse pyaar kartaa hooN. ye...ye kis jurm kee sazaa dee jaa rahee hai use? merii maa, suhaagin hote huye vidhwaa banee rahee ...maine tumse kabhee kuchh naheeN maangaa

क्या क़सूर है उसका, कौनसा पाप, कौनसा जुर्म किया है उसने. क्या उसका जुर्म ये है कि वो मेरी मां है, क्या उसका जुर्म ये है कि उसने मुझे जनम दिया है, क्या उसका जुर्म ये है कि मैं उससे प्यार करता हूं. ये ...ये किस जुर्म की सज़ा दी जा रही है उसे? मेरी मां सुहागन होते हुये विधवा बनी रही...मैने तुमसे कभी कुछ नहीं मांगा.

This is a classic dialogue from the all time classic called Deewar. Vijay is an atheist in the film and even as a kid when his mother and brother Ravi go to the temple, he is shown sitting and waiting at the entrance. In one of the powerful cinematic moments of the film, when he realises his mother is not well, he swallows his pride and keeps his principles aside and steps inside the sanctum sanctorum. He pleads with God to cure his mother. He argues that even though he might have committed illegal acts, his mother should not be punished for it. But the piece de resistance is the opening line he uses with God, almost equating him to a potent adversary. He says

aaj khush to bahut hoge tum

Implying that God had created circumstances which have weakened him so much, that he has decided to genuflect before his old adversary. So whenever you face a situation where you are forced to do something by someone you dont like, use this line. Instantly hits home.

Saaree Khudaaii ek taraf beevee kaa bhaai ek taraf

Film: Tumhare Bina
Year of release: 1982
Spoken by: Mr Khanna (Shail Chaturvedi)
Spoken to: Seema Dutt (Swaroop Sampat)

Mr Khanna is Seema's boss and the manager in the bank they both work in. He has been invited with family to Seema's house for lunch and when he is introducing his brother in law Divakar (Anoop Kumar), he uses this famous proverb.

One of my friends used a variant of this. His boss had asked him to give regular work to one of his brothers who used to be in a related trade. The brother was slow on the uptake, and my friend used to say

सारी ख़ुदाई एक तरफ़ बॉस का भाई एक तरफ़

Aye chinky tu bahut change ho gayelee hai re

Film : Munnabhai MBBS
Year of release : 2003
Spoken by : Munna (Sanjay Dutt)
Spoken to : Chinky (Gracy Singh)

Munna is in love with his childhood friend Chinky. He does not know how she looks like, but believes that she is still in love with him. The Chinky is actually none other than Dr Suman, one of the doctors in his hospital. Dr Suman panics when she finds out that Munna is interested in 'Chinky'. She decides to introduce her friend Neha Dubey as Chinky. Now Neha Dubey is a tube-tops-and-hot-pants girl who drinks, smokes and dances at night clubs. After meeting her, Munna is shocked. Shell-shocked. Even the normally unflappable Circuit is shocked. So how does Munna convey his dismay. He tells Neha

Chinky tu bahut change ho gayelee hai re

चिंकी तू बहुत चेंज हो गयेली है रे

Later when the real Chinky is discussing the meeting with Dr Asthana, they have a good laugh about it, by repeating this line again and again - almost like a shibboleth.

So if you meet an old friend and are dismayed about any sort of perceived negative change, this is a great line to use.

Kuchh log vaise bhee to hote haiN

Film: Kaala Patthar
Year of release : 1979
Spoken by : Vijay Pal Singh (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Dr. Sudha Sen (Raakhee Gulzaar)

While tending to Vijay's wounds, Sudha asks him how long he has been around in the mines. In India, (especially some parts of North India) it is common even in casual conversation with rank strangers for the interlocutors to try and figure out each other's place of origin. Dr Sudha does the same when she asks him - तुम वैसे कहां के हो?

Vijay generally in most films does not give a straight answer to a straight question. Indulges a lot in what we call - tark kutark - तर्क कुतर्क. So how does he answer this easy question

"बचा सवाल के मैं कहां का हूं, तो कुछ लोग वैसे भी तो होते हैं, जो कहीं के नहीं होते"

bachaa savaal ke maiN kahaaN kaa hooN, to kuchh log vaise bhee to hote haiN, jo kaheeN ke naheeN hote

UTh jaayenge do chaar mulaaqaatoN meN

इसे हिन्दी में पढने के लिए यहाँ क्लिक करें

Film : Waqt
Year of release : 1965
Spoken by : Ravinder Kumar Khanna aka Ravi (Sunil Dutt)
Spoken to : Raja (Raj Kumar)

When Meena (Sadhna) goes to the airport to receive Ravi, Raja also goes there, looking for Meena. The exchange between Ravi and Raja, which clearly underlines their rivalry in love has been briefly covered in one earlier post - goyaa voh alag baandh ke rakkhaa hai.

Ravi appreciates the diamonds on Raja's coat and says they are very good. Raja retorts

बढिया तो हम भी बहुत हैं, मगर ये आपको अभी पता नहीं चलेगा

badhiyaa to ham bhee bahut haiN, magar yeh aapko abhee pataa naheeN chalegaa

इतने पर्दे डाल रक्खे हैं आपने - कोई बात नहीं - उठ जायेंगे दो चार मुलाक़ातों में

Itne parde Daal rakhe hai aapne – koee baat nahee – uTh jaayenge do chaar mulaaqaatoN me

I am reminded of the famous couplet from the Mehdi Hasan ghazal

प्यार जब हद से बढ़ा सारे तक़ल्लुफ़ मिट गये

आप से फिर तुम हुये फिर तू का उनवां हो गये

The formalities between friends disappear after a few interactions.

Ham aanewaale gham ko kheenchtaan ke aaj kee khushee par le aate haiN

इसे हिन्दी में पढने के लिए यहाँ क्लिक करें

Film : Anand
Year of release : 1971
Spoken by : Anand Sehgal (Rajesh Khanna)
Spoken to : Dr Bhaskar Bannerjee (Amitabh Bachchan)

It is not an ideal line for this blog, as it is too long. But then the concept is so real and relevant. If I recall correctly, one of Hrishikesh Mukherjee's friends who was a journalist (a MalayaaLee Christian name that I cannot remember), used to say this very often. Hrishida was very taken in by the concept and used it in his film too.

Anand is approaching death and he finds Bhaskar getting more irritable every day. One such day when Anand is in a jovial mood and is trying to get Bhaskar also into a similar mood, Bhaskar snaps at him rather rudely. Anand decides to go back to Delhi, as he can no longer watch his own death - reflected in the fear and the behaviour of his friends. He feels that he is alive till the time he dies and he would not like to be reminded of the impending death all the time. And when Bhaskar behaves in such a serious and irritable manner, that is exactly what is happening. Suddenly, Bhaskar realises that Anand is right and promises to stop being irritable and serious. Immediately, Anand lightens up and says, you know the problem is that we actually take the present value of future troubles and start worrying about it. We are never able to enjoy the present moment.

I quite agree with Anand. In fact a friend of mine would say when everything was going fine, that it was the calm before the storm. That something really bad was going to happen. Always reminded me of this line from Anand,

Ham aanewaale gham ko kheenchtaan ke aaj kee khushee par le aate haiN

हम आनेवाले ग़म को खींचतान के आज की ख़ुशी पर ले आते हैं

khaa gayee naa aap bhee kapDoN se dhokhaa

इसे हिन्दी में पढने के लिए यहाँ क्लिक करें

Film: Shree 420
Year of release : 1955
Spoken by : Raj (Raj Kapoor)
Spoken to : Vidya (Nargis)

Immediately after the famous song 'eechak daanaa', Raj rings the bell and all kids run away. Vidya is very angry. Raj is dresssed as a tramp and Vidya is making no secret of her disdain for him. She calls him an illiterate bumpkin and wonders if Raj would want that the kids also end up like him. Raj protests.

This is the exchange between them

Raj : Main graduate hooN...BA pass मैं ग्रॅजुएट हूं ...बी ए पास

Vidya : BA pass ...huh. ek aur jhooTh. zaraa apanaa huliyaa to dekho. college ke paDhe likhe graduates kee yeh soorat hotee hai?

बी ए पास...हह...एक और झूठ. ज़रा अपना हुलिया तो देखो. कॉलिज के पढे लिखे ग्रॅजुएट्स की ये सूरत होती है?

Raj : khaa gayee naa aap bhee kapDoN se dhokha!

खा गयीं ना आप भी कपडों से धोखा!
Agar aaj main ek badhiyaa suit pehne, shaandaar gaadee me baiThkar yahaan aataa to shaayad aap mujhe badtameez, jaahil ganwaar na kehteeN…aur isme aapkaa koee dosh nahee hai…jis duniyaa me aap rehtee hain wahaan insaan ke dil aur dimaag kee naheeN, uske kapdo kee izzat hotee hai. Sharkskin ke suit, silk kee kameezen aur georgette kee saaRiyon kee izzat hotee hai.

अगर आज मैं बढिया सूट पहने, शानदार गाडी में बैठकर यहां आता तो शायद आप मुझे बदतमीज़, जाहिल गंवार न कह्तीं ...और इसमे आपका कोई दोष नहीं है...जिस दुनिया में आप रहतीं हैं, वहां इंसान के दिल और दिमाग़ की नहीं, उसके कपडों की इज़्ज़त होती है. शार्कस्किन के सूट, सिल्क की कमीज़ें और जॉर्जॅट की साड़ियों की इज़्ज़त होती है".

Great socialistic monologue which worked very well in that era. But the message in that one line is still relevant. It happens all the time. So either you can keep complaining about it - as Raj does. Or make it work to your advantage. As Raj himself does in the later half of the movie.

Itnee dostii nahee hai ki vajah bataa sakooN

इसे हिन्दी में पढने के लिए यहाँ क्लिक करें

Film: Laagaa Chunri mein Daag
Year of release: 2008
Spoken by : Vibhavari (Rani Mukherjee)
Spoken to : Rohan (Abhishek Bachchan)

Normally most of the complimentary comments that I get are for posts pertaining to the 1970s (or earlier). I do feature newer lines too, but even when I write them, my heart is not entirely in it.

But this is one line from a new film which left an indelible mark on me. I found tears welling up in my eyes (inspite of myself).

Vibhavari is a high society call girl and her family has no clue about it. Her family thinks she has a corporate communications job with the private sector - and that is the source of her new found wealth. Her corporate avatar has also resulted in a new name. She is now called Natasha in the corporate circles. Her younger sister Shubhaavari (Konkona Sen Sharma) aka ChhuTkee, is getting married to a 'decent upper middle class' boy called Vivaan (Kunal Kapoor). During the marriage ceremony, she comes to know that Rohan (Abhishek Bachchan) is Vivaan's elder brother. Vibhavari has already met Rohan in Switzerland on one of her corporate junkets and hit off with him. But she goes into a tizzy when Rohan proposes to her. Rohan is exasperated as he can think of no reason why she cannot marry him. He is educated, well-heeled and most importantly the two of them have a great rapport. So he says that he at least deserves to know why she is rejecting him. Or as he puts it

"इतनी दोस्ती तो है हम मे कि तुम वजह बता सको"

To which Vibhavari says poignantly and pithily

"इतनी दोस्ती नहीं है रोहन कि वजह बता सकूं"

There are many times when friends importune you to tell them the reason for something, essentially because they are friends. A great line to use at all such junctures.

Koee bhee faislaa chunaav se honaa chaahiye dabaav se naheeN

इसे हिन्दी में पढने के लिए यहाँ क्लिक करें

Film: Sarkaar
Year of release : 2005
Spoken by : Rashid (Zakir Hussain)
Spoken to : An associate

Rashid is hatching a plan to kill Subhash Nagare (Amitabh Bachchan), along with Virendra Swami (Jeeva) and Vishram Bhagat (Raju Mavani). One of their associates is appalled at the idea and says so. He says he will have nothing to do with such a crazy plan. He starts walking out of the room. As he walks out, he catches the steely look in Rashid's eyes. He suddenly realises that he is about to be killed. He pleads with Rashid that he will keep his mouth shut and they could trust him completely. But he (and the audience), realise that his murder is almost fait accompli. Rashid walks up to him and plunges a dagger into his intestines. As he turns around the dagger, he very pithily adds,

"कोई भी फ़ैसला चुनाव से होना चाहिये दबाव से नहीं"

"koee bhee faislaa chunaav se honaa chaahiye dabaav se naheeN"

Daro mat, maiN aadmee naheeN hooN

इसे हिन्दी में पढने के लिए यहाँ क्लिक करें

Film: Madhumati
Year of release: 1959
Spoken by : Charandas (Johny Walker)
Spoken to : Anand (Dilip Kumar)

This is a 3 hour long movie, but gripping all through the way. Almost 50 years old, but still so fresh. Great songs, great performances and a great film. Am reminded of the couplet by Dr Harivanshrai Bachchan

"अर्धशती की होकर के भी षोड्ष वर्षी मधुशाला". Just need to change "Madhushala" into "Madhumati".

This scene happens immediately after the "Suhana safar" song (what a song!). Anand Babu is finding his way to his destination. He is suddenly accosted by a probably sozzled Charandas - who is hanging upside down from a tree. By way of introduction, Charandas tells Anand

"डरो मत, मैं आदमी नही हूं"

"Daro mat, maiN aadmee naheeN hooN"

As I write this, I realise that the Naina Devi stampede killed more people than the serial bomb blasts in two cities. The difference being the guys behind the bomb blasts were terrorists and the guys behind the stampede were ordinary 'god-fearing' 'human' beings. But yet such an appalling tragedy took place.

What a great line! Hats off to your Mr Rajinder Singh Bedi!

Meree samajh meN ye naheeN aataa ki tum kameene zyaadaa ho, yaa bewaqoof

इसे हिन्दी में पढने के लिए यहाँ क्लिक करें

Film: Duniya
Year of release: 1984
Spoken by : Mohan Kumar (Dilip Kumar)
Spoken to : Balwant (Amrish Puri)

Portions of this scene have been featured earlier too. Mohan breaks into Balwant's house and is waiting for him, with a minatory motive. Balwant manages to find his revolver and points it at Mohan. Mohan suggests that he has already removed all the bullets from the revolver (he shows him six bullets). His logic is that - he would not have come and ensconced himself in a villain's lair and not sanitised it for arms and ammunition. Mohan uses the power of dialogue to sell his story

"मेरी समझ मे ये नहीं आता कि तुम कमीने ज़्यादा हो, या बेवक़ूफ"

"Meree samajh me ye naheeN aataa ki tum kameene zyaadaa ho, yaa bewaqoof"

Balwant falls for the power of the dialogue (and so do we) and drops the revolver. Mohan picks it up and we discover that the revolver is actually loaded. Leaving us wondering, whether Mohan was more 'kameenaa' or more 'bewaqoof', for having left him exposed to such a risk.

Anyways all well that ends well. Balwant dies under the wheels of an oncoming truck, prompting Mohan to remark - ....

Try and remember that classic line. Can't? Search the archives or the labels. Great line that.

Apun tum ko sirif do maaraa, pan solid maaraa

इसे हिन्दी में पढने के लिए यहाँ क्लिक करें

Film: Amar Akbar Anthony
Year of release: 1977
Spoken by: Anthony Gonsalves (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to: Amar (Vinod Khanna)

This line appears before the one featured earlier - the 'solid aawaaz' one. Anthony is in the lock up and recouping from the bashing he has received from Inspector Amar. His confidence is shaken but he tries to salvage whatever of it he can by asking Amar,

"तुम अपुन को दस दस मारा अपुन तुम को सिरिफ़ दो मारा...पन सॉलिड मारा कि नहीं ...हैं? है कि नहीं? अरे हां बोल ना"

"tum apun ko das das maaraa – apun tum ko sirif do maaraa…pun solid maaraa kee naheen..hain? hai ki nahee…are haan bol naa…"

An exasperated Amar retorts with,

"शट अप विल यू. तुम्हारी यहां बक बक नहीं चलेगी"

"Shut up will you…tumhaaree yahaan bak bak nahee chalegee"

Sometimes, in a fight, the victor does not get all the accolades. A determined opponent who delivered two competitive blows could actually make his mark.

Saare anDe abhee lenge yaa...

इसे हिन्दी में पढ़ने के लिए यहाँ क्लिक करें

Film: Deewar
Year of release: 1975
Spoken by : Vijay Verma (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to: Samant (Madan Puri)

Vijay joins Dawar (Iftikhar) who is a smuggler plagued by a rival smuggler called Samant. Samant is a cunning operator who hijacks Dawar's contraband once it has safely reached the shores of Mumbai.

Vijay decides to play on Samant's strength - ability to get timely competitor information. He goes to Samant and presents himself as an informer. He gives him information about a big consignment of smuggled gold which is about to land in Mumbai. Samant falls for the bait - though he retains a healthy suspicion about Vijay's motives. Ostensibly, Vijay's motive is Rs 5 lacs - the amount agreed to be given as the price for his information. Samant keeps Vijay hostage in his lair, till his men are able to hijack Dawar's consignment and bring it to his godown. When he gets confirmation of the safe arrival of the goods, Vijay asks for his money. Samant takes out a revolver and asks Vijay - what if he shot him instead of paying him.

Vijay, with characteristic sang-froid, turns around and relates the tale of the greedy man who had a hen that laid a golden egg everyday. One day the man gets too greedy and decides to rip the hen open, hoping to get all the golden eggs together. Vijay summarises the story very well and very persuasively with this one line

Saare anDe abhee lenge yaa?

सारे अंडे अभी लेंगे या?

Par uskaa bad luck hee Kharaab thaa

Film: Rangeela
Year of release: 1995
Spoken by: Munna (Aamir Khan)
Spoken to: Mili (Urmila Matondkar)

This is another overused line which basically has its roots in the Mumbaiyya way of speaking, that generally avoids 'bol bachan" and focusses on the KISS principle - Keep It Short and Simple. I am really enamoured of this character played by Aamir Khan. I still remember a Ram Gopal Varma interview where he said that he thought this role would have been done better by Govinda. I felt very angry when I saw the film two years after its release. Govinda might have made the film funnier, but Aamir lent the role a quiet dignity which a forty thousand Govindas could not have managed. Here is the full dialogue for your reading pleasure - अक्षरश: . Munna justifying his friend Pakya's (Rajesh Joshi) illegal activities.

अरे मिली तू उसकी लाइफ़ स्टोरी सुनेगी ना तो हिल जायेगी. ये पक्या जब पांच साल का था ना, तभीच उसकी मां टपक गयी. उसका बाप अक्खा दिन दारू के नशे में फ़ुल्टू रहता था. वो भी साला लुढक गया. उसकी जीने का एक ही मक़सद था. अपनी बहन की शादी. उसी की शादी कराने वास्ते वो साला जी रेला था. हुं . पर उस का बॅड लक ही ख़राब था. लडके वालों ने इतना दहेज मांगा, इतना ब्लॅक मनी मांगा, कि तब से लेके अजून तक, वो दस का तीस दस का तीसिच कर रेला है.

An otherwise tautological usage of 'bad luck' being 'Kharaab' is lent a certain charm by the way Aamir says it.

Aadmi kaa agar iraadaa pakkaa ho to darwaaze to khud ba khud khul jaate hain

Film : Duniya
Year of release : 1984
Spoken by : Mohan Kumar (Dilip Kumar)
Spoken to : Balwant (Amrish Puri)

This revenge drama has Mohan breaking into Balwant's house. Balwant asks him the silly but inevitable question

"Tum andar kaise aaye"

And Mr Mohan Kumar says

"Aadmi kaa iraadaa pakkaa ho to darwaaze to khud ba khud khul jaate haiN"

"आदमी का इरादा पक्का हो तो दरवाज़े तो ख़ुद ब ख़ुद खुल जाते हैं"

A thought echoed, in a slightly romantic fashion, by Shri Shahrukh Khan in his Om Shanti Om, when he says

"इतनी शिद्दत से मैने तुम्हे पाने की कोशिश की है, कि हर ज़र्रे ने तुम्हे मुझसे मिलाने की साज़िश की है"

Personally, I too feel that if one really wants to do something, he generally does it. Simple line, but interesting usage. So you can use this line, when you break into someone's house.

Are itnaa solid aawaaz aur kisee kaa ho saktaa hai kyaa

Film : Amar Akbar Anthony
Year of release : 1977
Spoken by : Anthony Gonsalves (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Bharati (Nirupa Roy)

Amar (Vinod Khanna) goes to Anthony's area and arrests him. A bruised and battered Anthony is now in the lock up. The blind flower seller Bharati (who is actually their mother) walks in to give flowers to Amar. She is hailed by Anthony. She reacts with

arre, ye to Anthony kee aawaaz hai
अरे, ये तो ऍंटनी की आवाज़ है

Anthony responds with a classic

Then what, arre itnaa solid aawaaz aur kisee kaa ho saktaa hai kyaa.
अरे इतना सॉलिड आवाज़ और किसी का हो सकता है क्या