© V.Ravi Kumar. All rights reserved.

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Mohalla bachaate bachaate shahar jalaa diyaa

Film: Raees
Year of release: 2017
Spoken by: Raees (Shahrukh Khan)
Spoken to: Aasiya (Mahira Khan)
Dialogue writer: Rahul Dholakiya and others

The film is an extremely boring film. A sure shot cure for chronic insomnia. However, even a stopped clock is right twice a day. This dialogue is one such moment. Like many criminals, this bootlegger (Raees) too seeks legitimacy by moving to social work and politics. However, inadvertently he ends up becoming the mule for the transport of RDX used in the Mumbai bomb blasts. In a pensive moment, he confesses to his wife:

"mohallaa bachaate bachaate shahar jalaa diyaa"
"मोहल्ला बचाते बचाते शहर जला दिया" 

Saturday, March 5, 2016

ye kaala baazaar hai, isme.n safed jhooth hii chaltaa hai

Film: Abhimaan
Year of release: 1973
Spoken by: Chandru Kriplani (Asrani)
Spoken to: Subir Kumar (Amitabh Bachchan)
Dialogue writer: Rajinder Singh Bedi

An outstanding film. And the dialogue writer is one of the greatest dialogue writers of Hindi films. This is a scene that just precedes the breakdown of relations between the couple. Subir walks into the drawing room and talks to his secretary Chandru. 

Subir: kyon re chandru, museebat Taali?
Chandru: kaun? income tax vaali?
Subir: Haan.
Chandru: Bhai, returns to file kar diye hain, do chaar certificate nahin mil rahe yaar.
Subir: kyon?
Chandru: vo kehte hain, ki pichhle saal ki raqam, is saal mein Daalein.
Subir: arre ye kaise ho saktaa hai, ye to ek dam safed jhooth hai!
Chandru: Bhai ye kaala baazaar hai, isme.n safed jhooth hii chaltaa hai!
भाई ये काला बाज़ार है, इसमें सफ़ेद झूठ ही चलता है!

Not much has changed in Bollywood since! :)

Monday, February 29, 2016

Neend naa maashooqaa ki tarah hotii hai, waqt naa do to buraa maan ke chali jaati hai

Film: Jazbaa
Year of release: 2015
Spoken by: Yohaan (Irrfaan)
Spoken to: Anuradha Verma (Aishwarya Rai)
Dialogue writer: Kamlesh Pandey

An extremely bad film. Though it has some great lines by Irrfaan. I feel that Jaya Bhaduri would wonder at times that she and her daughter in law are referred to by the same name - actor! 

Anuradha (a lawyer) calls Yohaan (a police officer) late at night to tell him how she is going to investigate a case. He is drunk and quite tired. Yet tries to dissuade her from being such a 'workaholic'. In order to further buttress his point, he delivers the following line:

"Neend naa maashooqaa ki tarah hotii hai, waqt naa do to buraa maan ke chali jaati hai, phir usko manaanaa aasaan nahin hotaa"
"नींद ना माशूक़ा की तरह होती है, वक़्त ना दो तो बुरा मान के चली जाती है, फिर उसको मनाना आसान नहीं होता"

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Maidaan mein khule sher kaa saamnaa karoge, tumhaare mard hone ki Galatfahmi - duur ho jaayegi

Film: Damini
Year of release: 1993
Spoken by: Govind (Sunny Deol)
Spoken to: Inspector Kadam (Vijayendra Ghatge)
Dialogue writer: Dilip Shukla

I realised that though I use this line very often while discussing HR skills and competencies, I have not yet put it on my blog. So here goes...

This is the scene in which Govind makes up his mind to return to court and fight for Damini. Inspector Kadam (who is on the villain's payroll) tries to prove that the rape victim Urmi (Prajakta Kulkarni) has committed suicide. Govind drills holes in Kadam's theory. Kadam threatens him not to mess with the police. Govind wistfully says he knows how brave the police are. He says a bunch of them would gang up, then tie up an innocent man and bash him up. Rest of the dialogue in the original language
Govind: hey Kadam, tu kabhi chidiyaghar gayaa hai?
Kadam: Hain!
Govind: chidiyaghar...vahaan pinjre mein band sher par bachche bhi moongphaliyaa.n phenk ke maarte hain...vo aur baat hai...maidaan mein khule sher kaa saamnaa karoge, tumhaare mard hone ki Galatfahmi - duur ho jaayegi
चिड़ियाघर... वहां पिंजरे में बंद शेर पर बच्चे भी मूंगफलियाँ फेंक के मारते हैं...वो और बात है...मैदान में खुले शेर का सामना करोगे, तुम्हारे मर्द होने की ग़लतफ़हमी - दूर हो जायेगी. 

Kadam: Govind!!
Govind: chillaao mat. apni ye bhaari awaaz adaalat ke liye rakho. vahaan bahut jawaab dene hain..

This incidentally marks Sunny Deol's debut on my blog. 

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Main bhi to adjust kar rahaa hoo.n naa

Film: R...Rajkumar
Year of release: 2013
Spoken by: Romeo Rajkumar (Shahid Kapoor)
Spoken to: Chanda (Sonakshi Sinha)
Dialogue writer: Shiraz Ahmed

Romeo constantly chases Chanda around town. She is exasperated with him and confronts him in this scene where Romoe professes his love for the first time. She is driving her car in the rain and suddenly finds him standing pat in the middle of the road. When she gets out of the car to confront him; 

Chanda: "Ay apne aap ko dekhaa hai kyaa kabhi; teri to height bhi nahiin milti mujh se."
ऐ, अपने आप को देखा है कभी; तेरी तो हाइट भी नहीं मिलती मुझसे.
Romeo: "to tu sirf amitabh bachchan se pyaar karegi. tera vazan dekhaa hai...maine kuchh bolaa...mai.n bhi to adjust kar raha hoon naa"
तो तू सिर्फ अमिताभ बच्चन से प्यार करेगी? तेरा वज़न देखा है... मैंने कुछ बोला...मैं भी तो एडजस्ट कर रहा हूँ ना "

I just love this line. It is eminently usable when someone close tries to put you down for some foible of yours. 

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

beTaa tumse naa ho paayegaa

Film: Gangs of Wasseypur
Year of release: 2012
Spoken by: Raamaadhiir Singh (Tigmanshu Dhulia)
Spoken to: His son J P Singh (Satyakam Anand)
Dialogue writer: Zeeshaan Qadri

The politician of Waaseypur is Mr. Ramadhir Singh. He believes the country will remain backward as long as the cinema thrives here. In one scene, his son comes and tells him about a gangland killing, while he is sitting with some respectable folks. Ramadhir dismisses him from his presence and later goes and scolds him for bringing up their gang connections openly. 

And then suddenly he remembers that he had been missing from home on the night before. So he asks,
RS: aur kal raat ko kahaan the?
JPS: sineemaa dekhne gaye the
RS: kaunsaa sineemaa?
JPS: dilwaale dulhaniyaa le jaayenge
And then comes the dialogue that has caught everybody's fancy

betaa...tumse naa ho paayegaa...hame.n tumhaare lachchan bilkul Thiik nahiin lag rahe hai.n, tumse naa ho paayegaa
बेटा...तुमसे ना हो पायेगा ...हमें तुम्हारे लच्छन बिलकुल ठीक नहीं लग रहे हैं, तुमसे ना हो पायेगा. 

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

koi chaar sau biisii kaa dhandaa hii sikhaa dete to aaj ham naa moTor me.n ghumaate usko

Film : Pyaasa
Year of release : 1957
Spoken by : Abdus Sattaar (Johnny Walker)
Spoken to : God 
Dialogue writer : Abrar Alvi

Abdul is trying to woo Juhi (Kum Kum) in a park. She however rebuffs him and says, she is waiting for a 'motor waalaa' - a car owner. 

A disappointed Abdul tries gamely to convince Juhi to settle for a 'maalishwaalaa' - a masseur. He fails as Juhi walks away with 

"chal haT muye"

He turns to god and remarks

"sunaa tumne ...hunar bhii diyaa to tel maalish. koi chaar sau biisii kaa dhandaa hii sikhaa dete
to aaj ham naa moTor me.n ghumaate usko"
"सुना तुमने...हुनर भी दिया तो तेल मालिश...चार सौ बीसी का धंदा ही सिखा देते, तो आज हम ना मोटर में घुमाते उसको" 
Just then a coconut drops on his head. 

"oh..mar gaye. aapki taareef. naariyal. samajh gayaa... ab nahiin boloongaa"

Why I found this dialogue interesting is that half a century ago, the common people believed (and Abrar just gave a voice to that belief), that anyone who drives a motor car is a crook. Half a century later many honest people in India drive motor cars. So this line might not be acceptable to most people. But even today, you would find that all crooks have motor cars, but all honest people don't. 

So I can understand the climate of opinion that existed half a century ago. 

Abrar Alvi, I doff my hat to you. Pyaasa makes a debut on this blog. 

Monday, November 24, 2014

phir democracy kaa faaydaa kyaa hai

Film : Baat Ban Jaaye
Year of release : 1986
Spoken by : Mr Singh (Utpal Dutt)
Spoken to : Aruna (Aruna Irani)
Dialogue writer : Dr Rahi Masoom Raza

Mr Singh is Nisha Singh (Zeenat Aman)'s uncle. He is trying to hook her up with a poor boy. After his second attempt fails, as the poor 'boy' Yashwant Bhonsle (Amol Palekar) hits paydirt with his latest invention, he goes to Hyderabad to search for the next target. 

He is sitting in the lobby of the hotel in Hyderabad with Aruna and remarks 

"छी छी अरुणा, ये कहाँ आ गए हैं हम. आधे घंटे से ढूंढ रहा हूँ. एक भी ग़रीब नज़र नहीं आया. फिर डिमॉक्रसी का फ़ायदा क्या है?"
"chhi chhi Aruna, ye kahaa.n aa gaye hai.n ham. aadhe ghanTe se DhoonDh rahaa hoo.n, ek bhi Gareeb nazar nahee.n aayaa.
phir democracy kaa faaydaa kyaa hai?"

Of course, he finds more 'Gareeb' targets as the comedy develops further. This could have been a great film with a younger star cast. Apart from Mithun, all the other actors were well past their prime. One of the cast actually died during the making. It affects the timing. And comedy is all about timing. If this film was made with the same cast in 1977, it would have been in a different league. 

Satire in Hindi film is rare. And in the hands of a master craftsman like Rahi Masoom Razaa, it does create the desired effect. 

Monday, November 17, 2014

partner ab bol hee diyaa hai to dekh lenge

Film : Sholay
Year of release : 1975
Spoken by : Jai (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Veeru (Dharmendra)
Dialogue writer : Salim-Javed

I have been meaning to put this on this blog for a long time. But then, the entire screenplay of films like Deewar and Sholay will walk into this blog.

However, this line has often been used by me. I was recently working with a colleague. We both had committed to completing a lot of work, and she voiced her concern about having bitten off more than we could chew. I responded with this classic line, she instantly cracked up laughing. Sometimes these film line references go abegging, when the interlocutor does not understand the reference. But this line did not suffer that fate.

But the triggering cue for finally putting this line up came recently after the fifth match of the India Sri Lanka test series.
India had wrapped up the series 5-0. Sarandeep Singh and Vivek Razdan were commentating along with Narottam Puri on DD National (don't ask me why I was watching that!). Narottam Puri asked Sarandeep as to what India's chances were in Australia. Sarandeep predicted that we would win all the one dayers there. Then he paused and looked at Vivek. Then he said.
"main kuchh zyaadaa to nahii.n bol gayaa"

Lo and behold! Vivek responded with this very line. "तब रोक न पाया मैं आंसू" as Amitabh's father would have said. And then I had to put this up.

This is from the first reel of Sholay. Thakur is a policeman and escorting the two convicts in a train. They get into a discussion about whose job is better. Veeru suggests that both Jai-Veeru and Thakur work for the same thing - money. Thakur refutes that and says, he works to uphold the law, whereas Jai-Veeru break it. Jai interrupts with his trademark style line -

"aur dono.n hee kaamo.n me.n,  bahaaduri kee zaroorat hotii hai"
Veeru backs that up with
"haa.n hotii hai"
achchhaa... tum apne aap ko bahut bahaadur samajhte ho
agar mauqaa mile, to dekh lenaa thaanedaar saahab, ham dono.n pandrah bees par to bhaari paRenge...kyo.n jai, mai.n zyaadaa to nahiin bol gayaa naa
partner ab bol hee diyaa hai to dekh lenge

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

murdaa jannat jaaye yaa dozaKh, hame.n qabr khudaaii se matlab hai.

Film : Shaukeen
Year of release : 1982
Spoken by : Jagdish (Utpal Dutt)
Spoken to : Om Prakash Chaudhary (Ashok Kumar)
Dialogue writer : Shaanii (Based on Samaresh Basu's story)

The recently released movie The Shaukeens reminded me of a dialogue from the older version. The three frustrated old men decide to take a vacation. Their destination is not quite decided, though they feel they should go to Nasik. They hire a driver Ravi (Mithun) who senses their purposelessness and suggests they should go to Goa. Jagdish initially does not like the idea as he had his mind set on Nasik, but after clarifying a few things, he agrees with this great line. 

Jagdish : maalish vaalish kaa intizaam?
Ravi : are sab hoyenga saab. jo kuchh bhi mangtaa hai naa, apun ko bolna. Apun sab dengaa
Om Prakash (butts in) : kyo.n Jagdish
Jagdish : are murdaa jannat jaaye yaa dozaKh, hame.n qabr khudaaii se matlab hai. chalo goa. 

And then they go to Goa. The rest as they say, is history. 

Thursday, July 10, 2014

dil bhale hee left me.n hotaa hai, magar uske faisle hamesha right hote hai.n

Film : The Dirty Picture
Year of release : 2011
Spoken by : Ramakant (Tushar Kapoor)
Spoken to : Reshma (Vidya Balan)
Dialogue writer : Rajat Aroraa

This was a crass and over hyped film. Vidya Balan's performance was predictable for the most part and puerile at times. Yet our country celebrates this as the victory of feminism and all that blah. I will hold back my rant and get down to the task on hand

The film swept all the award for best dialogues that year. However, the dialogues were crass at best. Yet there were some okay lines in the film. Since this blog is about lines that you can use in real life, this line might fit here. So here goes

Ramakant is a sensitive writer and the younger brother of the egomaniacal superstar Suryakant (superbly essayed by Naseer - the way he says "it's a curse" is superb). In an interaction with Reshma, Ramakant says

"dil bhale hee left me.n hotaa hai, magar uske faisle hamesha right hote hai.n"
"दिल भले ही लेफ़्ट में होता है, मगर उसके फ़ैसले हमेशा राइट होते हैं" 

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

jii woh english me.n kuchh naam rakhnaa chaahte the

Film : Mr India
Year of release : 1987
Spoken by : Calendar (Satish Kaushik)
Spoken to : Arun (Anil Kapoor)
Dialogue writer : Salim Javed

I love Hindi film dialogues which have reference to the English language. I was reading Chetan Bhagat's extremely avoidable Revolution 2020. There was a sequence where the politician is looking for a name for his engineering college. He says it should have a touch of tradition, as well as sound modern. They decide on the name "Gangatech". I recently saw the board of a school called St. National. In this mindset,  I discovered this gem from Mr India.

This is Anil Kapoor's introductory scene from the film. He is shown cooking in the kitchen and calling out to his cook Calendar in the same breath. When Calendar finally wakes from his slumber and responds to Arun, Arun asks, 

"ek to merii samajh me.n aaj tak ye nahee.n aayaa, ki tumharaa naam tumhaare  maa baap ne calendar kyo.n rakhaa"
"एक तो मेरी समझ में आज तक ये नहीं आया, कि तुम्हारा नाम तुम्हारे मां बाप ने कॅलंडर क्यों रखा"

jii woh english me.n kuchh naam rakhnaa chaahte the. 
जी वो इंग्लिश में कुछ नाम रखना चाहते थे "

Look around you at names of shops, schools and organisations. This innocent desire of ordinary Indians will manifest itself all around you. 

Sunday, March 30, 2014

mere paas zaraa sii bhii maafii nahii.n hai, varnaa zaroor de detaa

Film : Aap ke Saath
Year of release : 1986
Spoken by : Bimal (Anil Kapoor)
Spoken to : Deepa (Rati Agnihotri)
Dialogue writer : Dr Rahi Masoom Reza

I was just watching this film casually. The quality of a couple of lines hit me immediately. I sat up and started listening carefully. The dialogue writer was not an ordinary man. The film was ordinary (bad actually). But the dialogues were constantly rising above their milieu. I immediately did a web search and discovered that the dialogue writer was Dr Rahi Masoom Reza.

Bimal is the philandering younger son of a rich man (Utpal Dutt). In one sequence, a drunk man (Seth Kishorilal i.e. Pinchoo Kapoor) mistakes him to be a cabbie and forcibly sits in his car and asks him to take him home.  However his home is actually an old age home, where he has been living ever since his son threw him out of his own house (he had once been a rich man). The caretaker of the old age home is Deepa. When she comes out to receive Kishorilal, she mistakenly believes that Bimal is Kishorilal's son. The son who had thrown his own father out of his house. She scolds him severely for leaving his old father at an old age home.

When she realises her mistake, she apologises to Bimal

"mai.n bahut bahut maafii maangtii hoo.n"

Bimal says

"mere paas zaraa sii bhii maafii nahii.n hai, varnaa zaroor de detaa"

Saturday, March 15, 2014

chaar bhee to the

Film : Chachi 420
Year of release : 1997
Spoken by : Judge (Unknown)
Spoken to : Jai (Kamal Hassan)
Dialogue writer : Gulzar

This was one of the best films of 1990s. It contains the best drag act in the history of Hindi cinema. And so many from Shammi Kapoor to Biswajeet to Amitabh Bachchan to Aamir Khan have done it. 

This line is from the opening court scene where the divorce proceedings (Jai and Janki (Tabu)'s) are on. Janki alleges that Jai had slapped her in full public view. 

The judge tries to verify this information. He asks Jai

"tumne.n chaar aadmiyo.n ke saamne thappaD maaraa apnee patnee ko?"

Jai is quite exasperated with the things Janki is alleging. In exasperation, he blurts out,

"chaar nahee.n your honour, chaalees log the.."

What he means to say, is that in the wider context, this is besides the point. And the real story lies elsewhere. In the backstory. So the court should not look merely at the symptoms. That is what he is implying. However the judge, who seems to be a pedant, gives him an impish indulgent smile, and says,

"chaar bhee to the"
"चार भी तो थे"

The entire hall burst out laughing at this point. Sometimes, a very serious dramatic scene is totally lightened by a small statement. This surely ranks among them. 

If you ever want to teach someone the concept of sets and subsets, this would be a good example :)

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Ranjan agar tum mere nahee.n ban sakte, to mai.n tumhe.n aur kisii kaa bhee nahee.n banne doongii

Film : Baat Ek Raat Ki
Year of release : 1962
Spoken by : Ramu (Asit Sen)
Spoken to : Public Prosecutor (Ulhas )
Dialogue writer : Vrajendra Gaur

Some lines just get stuck in your memory and you are reminded of them when something occurs. I used to hear a program on Vividh Bharti many years ago. It was called Chitradhwani. They played out a Hindi feature film in one hour flat. So it was an edited version comprising dialogues and songs. This dialogue probably lodged itself in the recesses of my memory because of the way Asit Sen said it. I just heard that the congress government had slashed CNG prices by 30%. This coupled with the earlier freebies offered, made me think that they had decided that since they were not going to come back to power anyway, might as well queer the pitch for the next government. Something like what Saddam did in Kuwait - set the oil wells on fire. It is called scorched earth policy. 

So Neela (Waheeda Rehman) is accused of murdering Ranjan (Chandrashekhar). She in fact confesses to the crime. But the defence lawyer (Dev Anand) is hell bent on proving her innocent. 

One of the witnesses is the servant Ramu, who testifies that he heard Neela fighting with Ranjan and he repeats what he heard :-

"रंजन अगर तुम मेरे नहीं बन सकते, तो मैं तुम्हें और किसी का भी नहीं बनने दूंगी" 
"Ranjan agar tum mere nahee.n ban sakte, to mai.n tumhe.n aur kisii kaa bhee nahee.n banne doongii". 

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

BaDaa aadmii agar bannaa ho Chaudhari, to chhoTe kaam mat karnaa

Film : Vidhaata
Year of release : 1982
Spoken by : Sobhraj (Dilip Kumar)
Spoken to : Jagavar Chaudhary (Amrish Puri)
Dialogue writer :

An extremely silly film, which makes you wonder about the so called 'legends' of Hindi cinema. I wish people had the courage to call a spade a spade. However, even though fate has given us a lemon, let us try and make some lemonade out of it.
Jagaavar is the man who has killed Sobhraj's son Inspector Pratap (Suresh Oberoi). Of course, at that time Sobhraj was known by his more hoi polloi name Shamsher Singh. He becomes an underworld don and decides the name Sobhraj is more suited to this avatar. Both Sobhraj and Jagaavar are together on a flight to Coimbatore. Jagaavar tries to chat Sobhraj up on the flight, but Sobhraj spurns him.
However when Sobhraj emerges from the airport, Jagaavar accosts him once again and says that since they both are going towards Guindy Park, they should travel together in Jagaavar's car. Sobhraj accepts this offer. His driver follows them in his car.
On the way, Jagaavar blows up Sobhraj's car and tries to impress Sobhraj with his villainy. Sobhraj just smiles. A surprised Jagaavar asks him why he is smiling. Sobhraj asks the driver to pull up near a coconut water vendor nearby. As they have moved away from the car, Sobhraj tells Jagaavar that the car he blew up was not his, but of some other innocent person. Then he blows up the car in which he and Amrish were travelling so far. Some would say they are just playing silly buggers. But then I remind myself I am trying to make some lemonade here. So the line he delivers after blowing up a million rupee (in 2013 terms) car, is this -
"बड़ा आदमी अगर बनना हो चौधरी, तो छोटे काम मत करना"
"BaDaa aadmii agar bannaa ho Chaudhari, to chhoTe kaam mat karnaa"
Now this line makes immense sense. A lot of people would put in fake bills or inflate travel bills assuming that it does not matter. But if you really want to hold a big office, you should eschew such small infractions.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

tum KhaamaKhaah kyon Khudaai faujdaar bane ghoom rahe ho

Film : Junoon
Year of release : 1978
Spoken by : Javed's aunt (Sushma Seth)
Spoken to : Sarfaraaz Khan (Naseeruddin Shah)
Dialogue writer : Satyadev Dubey and Ismat Chugtai

Sarfaraaz khan is raving and ranting about the firangiis (Britishers)
"...ehsaan faraamosh, khudgarz, girgit kee aulaad..."
Javed's aunt interrupts him and says,

"bas bas bas miyaa.n....miyaa.n tum bolte to Khoob ho...par is basti me.n kisii ke kaan par joon nahee.n rengtii....sab lambii taane paDe hai.n...tum KhaamaKhaah kyon Khudaai faujdaar bane ghoom rahe ho..."
You generally do not have to use this line with any city dweller in India. They generally mind their own business. So if you come across a country bumpkin or that rare urbanite who does seem to want to intervene, this line is apt.

Friday, November 15, 2013

ab paanch saal ke liye paagalo.n ko hukumat karne deejiye

Film : Pratighat
Year of release : 1987
Spoken by : Karamveer (Nana Patekar)
Spoken to : Election officer (Unknown)
Dialogue writer : Jalees

Karamveer was an honest constable who arrests the local goon Kaali (Charan Raj) in a smuggling case. Kaali comes out and abducts Karamveer's wife. She is raped and murdered by Kaali. Karamveer loses his mental balance and becomes a mad cop who find solace in regulating the town's traffic. When Kaali announces his nomination for the election, Karamveer lands up at the election office to file his nomination. This is the exchange between him and the polling officer.
"main chunaav ladnaa chaahtaa hoon kaali ke khilaaf. ye rahee meri arzii."
Polling officer (PO) : "baahar jaao"
Karamveer : "kyun jaaoon?"
PO: "kyonki paagal chunaav naheen laD sakte"
Karamveer : "duniya kee har mahaan hasti ko logon ne pahle paagal hee samjhaa hai. aapki koi galati naheen hai . {PO pushes him at this point} dhakka mat maaro. agar main kal mantri ho gayaa to inheen haathon se salaam karnaa padega."
PO : "Prakaash havaldaar ko bulaao."
Karamveer : "haan bulaao bulaao woh to sab mere saathi hain."
Then he takes a pause and comes up with this great line. It left a great impression on me as a kid. Putting it up on this blog now.  
"ek baat bataaoo.n. aaj tak buddhimaan logo.n ne raaj kar ke janata ko hamesha paagal banaa diyaa hai. hain... hai naa? ab paanch saal ke liye paagalo.n ko hukumat karne deejiye. sirf paanch saal. phir dekho chaaro.n taraf shanti hee shaanti."

With non traditional options coming up on the Indian electoral front too, this can be a very convincing appeal for people to vote for them (if all else fails) :).

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Ungli munh se aur tum kamre se baahar. Out!

Film : Andaz Apna Apna
Year of release : 1994
Spoken by : Ram Gopal Bajaj (Paresh Rawal)
Spoken to : Prem (Salman Khan)
Dialogue writer : Rajkumar Santoshi
I have been revisiting 'classics' over the last few days. I have discovered some 'classics' are fake classics. A classic is something that you get something out of, everytime you watch it. Chashme Baddoor is a classic. Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro is not. Andaz Apna Apna is an overrated classic. I once saw someone wearing a t-shirt which said 'teja idhar hai mark idhar hai'. I failed to understand what was so special about this dialogue. It was downright silly. But a lot of friends have pointed out that this film deserves a mention on my blog. So I looked for a line that I could put up on this blog and have come up with this one.
Ramgopal Bajaj is a martinet with a particular emphasis on punctuality. He has a specified time for every activity of daily living. His daughters ask him to meet their suitors. The suitors are Amar (Aamir) and Prem. The moment they enter his room, he shouts out that they are 3 minutes late. He further reveals that he had allotted 6 minutes for this meeting, out of which 3 minutes were earmarked for listening to the two suitors and the remaining 3 to speak to them. Since they were 3 minutes late, their speaking time had been forfeited. Now they were supposed to listen for 3 minutes. And boy! Do they get a tongue lashing in the next 3 minutes. Right at the fag end of the tongue lashing, Prem puts his finger into his mouth in a silly way. This prompts this line from Mr Bajaj.
"Ungli munh se aur tum kamre se baahar. Out!"
"उंगली मुंह से और तुम कमरे से बाहर. आउट!"

Saturday, October 5, 2013

boTiyaa.n nochne waalaa geedaDh, galaa phaaDne se sher nahee.n ban jaataa

Film : Marte Dam Tak
Year of release : 1987
Spoken by : Rana (Raaj Kumar)
Spoken to : DK (Om Puri)
Dialogue writer : K K Singh

I am always on the look out for Raj Kumar dialogues. The man bought some serious personality into his lines. This is a scene from one of his later and lesser known films.
DK's minion is on the line with Rana. Rana refuses to talk to him. He says,
"hum kutto.n se baat nahee.n karte"
DK snatches the receiver from his minion and roars (in typical Om Puri style)
"sher ki dahaaD to pahchaante ho naa Rana?"
Rana comes up with this riposte (in classic Raj Kumar style)

"DK boTiyaa.n nochne waalaa geedaDh, galaa phaaDne se sher nahee.n ban jaataa"

Monday, September 30, 2013

Pehle sone ki Lanka jalegi, uske baad RaavaN maara jaayega

Film : Duniya
Year of release : 1984
Spoken by : Mohan Kumar (Dilip Kumar)
Spoken to : RD Puri (Ashok Kumar)
Dialogue writer : Javed Akhtar
In All the President's Men, the 1976 movie based on the Watergate scandal, Deep Throat tells Bob Woodward to 'follow the money'. After 9/11, terrorism was constricted by drying up its funding. That has resulted in ordinary people like you and me having to do myriad things like KYC and PAN, even when we have to buy a 10000 rupees mutual fund. But drying up the funds flow is a sure shot to weaken an enterprise.
In this superb revenge movie, Mohan Kumar approaches Puri (whom he had saved in a prison fight) for help, to extract revenge from the troika of villains. He says,
"Yeh teen alag alag aadmii nahee.n hain, teen sar.on waalaa ek raakshas hai...
un teen saro.n waale rakshas se,  main laDoonga
Puri agrees to help him. He says,
"Theek hai, agar tum yahi chaahte ho to. lekin ye laDaai tumhe jazbaat se nahee.n, aql se laDni hogi.
kyonki dushman tumse, mujhse kahee.n zyaadaa taaqatvar hai"
And Mohan Kumar comes up with this classic line.
"sabse pehle mujhe us taaqat ko khatm karna hoga. Pehle sone ki Lanka jalegi, uske baad RaavaN maara jaayega"
"सबसे पहले मुझे उस ताक़त को ख़त्म करना होगा. पहले सोने की लंका जलेगी, उसके बाद रावण मारा जाएगा"
After that, nemesis strikes the troika of villains.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

tum madhubala nahee.n ho jo poori duniya tumhaare prem me.n bhaagti rahe

Film : Tanu Weds Manu
Year of release : 2011
Spoken by : Payal  (Swara Bhaskara)
Spoken to : Tanu(ja Trivedi) (Kangana Ranaut)
Dialogue writer : Himanshu Sharma
Payal is exasperated with Tanu choosing the vagrant contractor from Lucknow over the doctor from London. She scolds Tanu that she should not be so intemperate in her choice and give the good doctor a patient hearing. In her exasperation she comes out with this classic line. Madhubala was indeed linked to many of her co-stars (like Hema Malini) and it is believed that most of her co-stars had been her suitors at one point or the other. The most talked about love story is of course that of Dilip Kumar and Madhubala. It is good to see dialogue writers these days using classic actors as metaphors in their lines. Matru ki Bijli ka mandola had the reference to the Meena Kumari syndrome and this line referred to Madhubala as a woman whom everyone wanted to marry.
"tum madhubala nahee.n ho jo poori duniya tumhaare prem me.n bhaagti rahe"
"तुम मधुबाला नहीं हो जो पूरी दुनिया तुम्हारे प्रेम में भागती रहे"

Monday, June 17, 2013

Achchhe ideas kee laashen bichhee huyeen hain is duniyaa men

Film : Inkaar
Year of release : 2013
Spoken by : Rahul (Arjun Rampal)
Spoken to : Maya (Chitrangada Singh)
Dialogue writer : Sudhir Mishra
This was the much touted film on sexual harassment which was recently released. In one of the scenes in the film, Maya is making a rehearsal for a possible pitch to a client. At the rehearsal, when Rahul objects to the basic idea of the pitch, Maya stutters and takes a moment before she recovers and defends her idea. This leads to Rahul totally trashing the concept and he walks out of the conference room. Later when Maya approaches Rahul, she says, her idea was good. (idea to achchhaa thaa). Rahul turns around and tells her that he trashed her concept because she could not defend her idea convincingly. He says
Achchhe ideas kee laashen bichhee huyeen hain is duniyaa men. Apne idea ko bachaanaa seekho.
अच्छे आइडियाज़  की लाशें बिछी हुईं हैं इस दुनिया में. अपने आईडिया को बचाना सीखो.
Truer words have not been spoken.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Bas dil ko tasalli dene ke liye achchha lafz hai ...Dilli

Film : Tiranga
Year of release : 1992
Spoken by : Shivajirao Wagle (Nana Patekar)
Spoken to : Central Minister Jeevanlal Tandel (Manohar Singh) and DSP (Sujit Kumar)
Dialogue writer : KK Singh

There are so many probes being ordered these days from Delhi, that I remembered this powerful line from a Nana Patekar film. This was a time when Nana was on song. Most of his films sold because of him. 

After a carnage, Minister Jeevanlal tries to assuage a fuming Wagle by saying he will conduct a 'nyaayik jaanch' (a judicial enquiry) from Delhi. When Wagle hears this, he loses his cool and shouts in characteristically cynical Nana style.

"nyaayik jaanch karegi dilli huh! andhi aur behri dilli! yeh dilli bas mu.nh hai isliye paTar paTar kartii rahtii hai - yeh karnaa hai, yeh honaa chaahiye. hame.n dikhaanaa hai. bas dil ko tasalli dene ke liye achchha lafz hai ...dilli..."
"न्यायिक जांच करेगी दिल्ली हह! अन्धी और बहरी दिल्ली! ये दिल्ली बस मुंह है, इसलिये पटर पटर करती रहती है - ये करना है, ये होना चाहिये. हमें दिखाना है. बस दिल को तसल्ली देने के लिये अच्छा लफ़्ज़ है...दिल्ली..."

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

aap jaise bole.n Biddaa madam

Film : Kahaani
Year of release : 2012
Ritesh Shah dialogue
Spoken by : Mr Das (Nitya Ganguly - Monalisa manager)
Spoken to : Vidya Bagchi (Vidya Roy Kapoor nee Balan)
Dialogue writer : Ritesh Shah

2012 provided so many films for me to enjoy and praise. My friends were starting to believe that I had become a 'negaholic'. This was one of the joys of 2012. The greatness of the film is the casting, whether it is the avuncular hit man or the pregnant protagonist or (as is the case here) the hotel manager. Each one is an actor (not a junior artist), and hence the script is enhanced by the performance.

In this scene Vidya Bagchi drags the policeman along to the hotel where she believed her husband Arnab Bagchi to have stayed. The perplexed hotel manager not quite sure how to react when he learns she has come from London, responds with a classic "Your majesty". The next day morning Vidya finds that there is no hot water in her room (as had been promised) and goes to the front desk to complain. Here is the exchange between her and Mr Das. A true gem.

"good morning your maj...good morning Biddaa madam."
"Biddaa nahee.n vidya v va not ba" "बिद्दा नहीं विद्या व व नॉट ब"
"aap jaise bole.n Biddaa madam" "आप जैसे बोलें बिद्दा मॅडम"
"kamre me.n garam paanii nahee.n aa rahaa" "कमरे में गर्म पानी नहीं आ रहा"

This has now become a classic in my friends circle and family. Note the sweet condescension with which Mr. Das accepts her request, at the same time stubbornly refuses to implement the change suggested. 

Use this prophylactically for healthy relationships!