jism kaa dard ek had se guzar jaaye to maut aasaan ho jaati hai. maut ka Khauf nikal jaataa hai dimaaG se

Film: Maachis

Year of release: 1996

Spoken by: Senior police officer (Voice of Naseeruddin Shah)

Spoken to: Inspector SK Vohra (Kanwaljit Singh)

Dialogue writer: Gulzar

The opening shot of this film shows a body being fished out of a prison well. A suspected terrorist Jaswant Singh Randhawa or Jassi (Raj Zutshi) who has been held in that prison (and ostensibly badly tortured) has jumped into the well. The officer in charge (Vohra) and his senior (unknown but the voice is that of Naseer) are discussing the fall out. 

"SK, is terrorist ka zinda rehna bahut zaruuri thaa. maine tumhe kahaa bhi thaa."

Vohra responds, "ji haa.n sir. lekin iskaa zimmevaar main nahiin hoon sir. usne Khudkushii ki hai...kisii ne maaraa nahiin hai use"

"SK vo tumhaare charge mein thaa. dekho, jism kaa dard ek had se guzar jaaye to maut aasaan ho jaati hai. maut ka Khauf nikal jaataa hai dimaaG se. aur mujrim ko vo had kabhi nahiin paar karne di jaati."

"देखो, जिस्म का दर्द एक हद से गुज़र जाए तो मौत आसान हो जाती है. मौत का ख़ौफ़ निकल जाता है दिमाग़ से. और मुजरिम को वो हद कभी नहीं पार करने दी जाती।"

A positive spin of the same thought comes as a dialogue in Marykom where she says, "kabhi kisii ko itnaa bhi mat Daraao, ki Dar hi Khatm ho jaaye"

sirf daulat kamaane se kuchh nahee.n hotaa, aadmii kamaanaa bhii zaroorii hotaa hai

Film : Rakshak

Year of release : 1996

Spoken by : Raghu (Raghuvaran)

Spoken to : Varda Seth (Pramod Moutho)

Dialogue writer : Naeem Ejaz

Raghu to his erstwhile tormentor and then mentor Varda Seth, when he conspires to turn Varda's men against him. He gives him a small lesson in leadership

"sirf daulat kamaane se kuchh nahee.n hotaa vardaa aadmii kamaanaa bhii zaroorii hotaa hai"

"सिर्फ़ दौलत कमाने से कुछ नहीं होता वरदा, आदमी कमाना भी ज़रूरी होता है" 

76 minutes into the film. 

teri yitini himmat toone hamaare saab ko maaraa

Film : Rakshak

Year of release : 1996

Spoken by : Tanyaa (Ponnaambalam)

Spoken to : Raj's mother (Aruna Irani)

Dialogue writer : Naeem Ejaz

When the innocuous looking Raghu/Raghavan reveals his true colours, Raj's mother and Suman (Karishma Kapoor), whom he considers like his mother and sister, resist his efforts to take a 'file' from the house. An angry mother slaps Raghu. At that point Tanyaa enters the scene with his goons. And says this to his 'saab' (boss) Raghu -

"saab... my ne aapko pahale hee bolaa taa... ye kaam ham par choD do. aap jaaiye. ham file DoonD lenge."

"साब...मईने आपको पअहअले ही बोला ता, ये काम हम पर चोड दो. आप जाईए. हम फ़ाइल डूंड लेंगे"

Once Raghu leaves, Tanyaa walks up to Raj's mother and says menacingly (you could also call it funny because of the strong Tamil accent) -

"teri yitini himmat toone hamaare saab ko maaraa"

"तेरी यितिनी हिम्मत तूने हमारे साब को मारा"

and then slaps her hard. 

This line became a classic with the group of friends with whom I had seen this film. So whenever we had to chastise someone for being too aggressive. We would say 

"terii yitinee himmat"

The charm of the line of course was the 'yitinee'. Without that the line is trite. By the way, the actor who played the role of Tanyaa is Ponnambalam, who recently joined AIADMK. The film Rakshak was copied from the 1994 Tamil film Honest Raj which starred Vijayakant (in Sunil Shetty's role). Vijayakant of course formed his own party DMDK. 

Comes 119 minutes into the film. 

So you want to try me, hai.n

Film : Return of Jewel Thief

Year of release : 1996

Spoken by : Suryadev Singh (Dharmendra)

Spoken to :  Vinay Kumar (Dev Anand)

Dialogue writer :  Ranbir Pushp

The story idea is credited to Sanjay Nirupam, the famous politician who moved from Shiv Sena to Congress. This film is one of the rare gems of Hindi cinema. Not because it is good, it is not. In fact it is so bad, that it is good. I saw it twice in a theatre (I think there was a distributor's strike or something like that) hence this film had a long run. And I very nearly saw it a third time as well. 

The dialogue and screenplay writer Ranbir Pushp plays a cameo as a DD correspondent. The famous actor Anil Nagrath plays the British High Commissioner. His act is amazing. He sits with his legs splayed wide across on the sofa (like a Karol Bagh businessman) and talks with a fake English accent. It deserves a Lifetime Oscar. Then you have an eighteen-till-I-die Dev Anand, a moribund Ashok Kumar and an ageing but aggressive Dharmendra. And while the 'kutte mai.n teraa Khoon pee jaaoo.ngaa' or 'ek ek ko chun chu ke maaroo.ngaa' will always be more famous, this is an undiscovered Dharmendra gem. You have to see this film to understand what I mean. 

Back at the ranch, Dharmendra plays a commissioner of the police (Suryadev Singh) who wears fatigues most of the time and travels in helicopters and whose life's mission is to kill all jewel thiefs. He is also the personal security in charge of the Kohe-noor diamond. 

By the way, the negotiations for bringing the Kohe Noor for display in India are handled by a state's Chief Minister, the British High Commissioner and Vinay Kumar (a private collector who was once accused of being a jewel thief). And the commissioner of police  is appointed as security in charge. This film has many such gems. Sadashiv Amrapurkar plays Jukaso (an international jewel thief) who is convicted by the court. Now he has made an elaborate plan to escape. Listen to it. His men are waiting outside the court. He is being led out of the courtroom by the police and he is escorted by his lawyer. He feigns a stomach ache and asks to be taken to the bathroom. A reluctant inspector finally relents. He checks the bathroom into which Jukaso has to go. Then allows Jukaso to go in. Jukaso goes in. The inspector shuts the door (wonder why!). Suddenly the door opens and Jukaso pushes the inspector and runs. Such plans could be made by a 3 year old, but an international jewel thief! And there is not an iota of exaggeration in what I have written.

I get very emotional about this film, so pardon the long post. 

Getting back to the ranch again, Suryadev Singh is being accused by Vinay Kumar of having stolen the Kohe Noor. Vinay says that Suryadev is the son of the famous jewel thief Prince Arjun (Ashok Kumar) and...

"aur isne saabit kar diyaa hai ki he's also a jewel thief...a jewel thief!"

"और इसने साबित कर दिया है कि ही इज़ ऑल्सो अ जूल थीफ़...अ जूल थीफ़!"

And guess what the commissioner says to this unfair accusation. Yes you guessed it. 

"So you want to try me, hai.n?"

"सो यू वॉंट टु ट्रई मी, हैं?" 

It is accompanied by crashing of the right fist into the open left palm a couple of times in a minatory manner. 

Dharmendra also speaks English at other points in the film, and though those moments are also droll, this one is unparalleled. 

For example immediately after this line, Vinay Kumar taunts him saying that the son is a bigger jewel thief than the father and that he has stolen the Kohe Noor. As if on cue, Suryadev provides the English translation of the dialogue that made him famous.

"I'll kill you, I'll kill you bastard."

This scene comes around 1 hour 40 minutes into the film. You can watch the entire film or fast forward to this location. Worth it!

By the way, one of the criteria for my putting a dialogue on my blog is how often it can be used in real life. This is the one I have used the most number of times - to my boss, to my peers, to my competitors, to my parents. The 'hai.n' at the end saves me from any possible recriminations or repercussions. So next time someone challenges you, go ahead and tell them

"So you want to try me, hai.n?"

Do not forget to crash your right fist into your open left palm a couple of times while saying this. That is essential too. 

Draamebaaz hai.n saale sab ke sab

Film : Maachis

Year of release : 1996

Spoken by : Commander (Kulbhushan Kharbanda)

Spoken to : Sanatan (Om Puri)

Dialogue writer : Gulzar

I love the way Kulbhushan chews every words and then spits it out.

The commander of the terrorist force spends most of his day at office driving a truck. His team members get into the truck, take orders and disperse after that. In one such transaction, Sanatan gets into his truck, and Commander tells him that Kedar Nath (a political leader) is visiting their town Manikaran on 13th March. Commander tells him that he is the same leader, who was an accused (as a ringleader) in the '84 Delhi riots. He had now become an MP and a central minister. Sanatan enquires whether he is the same leader  who had once been attacked by their group member Jimmy (Jimmy Shergill).  Commander replies in the affirmative and tells him that Kedar Nath was visiting a religious shrine to pay his respects. It is of course hypocritical, because he led mobs to murder many people of a particular religion and later when he becomes a minister, he goes to the religious shrines of the same religion. "To pay respects"! Commander comments on this action of Kedar Nath with a cynical line, before getting into the details of the plot to assassinate Kedar Nath.

"Draamebaaz hai.n saale sab ke sab. Acting karte rahte hai.n"

"ड्रामेबाज़ हैं साले सब के सब. ऍक्टिंग करते रहते हैं"

When I see the politicians and their day to day acts, I am often reminded of this line from Maachis. 

Apun yeDaa akkhee duniyaa shaaNii, haiN?

Film : Rangeela
Year of release : 1996
Spoken by : Munna (Aamir Khan)
Spoken to : Mili (Urmila Matondkar)

Many of the street smart Bambaiyya lines have been featured from this film earlier on this blog.

Both Milee and Munna are fighting after the ruckus at the theatre as that incident results in them not being able to see the movie Mr. Bond starring Milee’s favourite star Kamal.

Munna insists that it is not his fault. He says

"Arre kamaal hai, tere ko to har baat pe apnaa hee fault dikhtaa hai. Apun yeda akkhee duniyaa shaanee hain? "
"अरे कमाल है, तेरे को तो हर बात पर अपना ही फ़ॉल्ट दिखता है. अपुन येड़ा अक्खी दुनिया शानी, हैं?

You had me at 'Hello'

Another line from an English movie. I try and avoid them, but some of them stake such a strong claim, that you cannot look away. This line is from the 1996 Tom Cruise - Renee Zellweger starrer, Jerry Maguire. Tom plays the eponymous role of Jerry, whereas Renee plays the role of his love interest Dorothy. The tag line of the movie was 'Everybody loved him...everybody disappeared'. In a competitive and cynical world, success is the only god and sports agent Jerry Maguire faces a lot of rough weather in his career. He has had a spat with Dorothy and Dorothy is with a support group of elderly and otherwise single women. They are all discussing how they hate men. And that is when Jerry walks in. He has had a big success in the face of a lot of adversity and feels empty as he is not able to share his success with someone he loves. He goes to the house where the support group is having a meeting, knocks and says 'hello...hello'. Then he goes on for 2 minutes and 47 seconds about how he is looking for his 'wife', how he would not allow her to get rid of him, how he wanted to share his success, how he felt incomplete without her, how he missed his 'wife' and so on. And then he says

"I love you, You...complete me...And I just...."

That's when Dorothy cuts in and says

"Shut up...shut up ...you had me at 'hello'"

The literal meaning of this is pretty obvious but figuratively can be used whenever you have agreed or accepted a proposal or suggestion from someone but the person goes on selling and persuading you. That's when you can say

"You had me at 'hello'

Whether you want to add the 'shut up' - now that I would leave to you.