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Monday, April 30, 2012

So you want to try me, hai.n

Film : Return of Jewel Thief
Year of release : 1996
Spoken by : Suryadev Singh (Dharmendra)
Spoken to :  Vinay Kumar (Dev Anand)
Dialogue writer :  Ranbir Pushp

The story idea is credited to Sanjay Nirupam, the famous politician who moved from Shiv Sena to Congress. This film is one of the rare gems of Hindi cinema. Not because it is good, it is not. In fact it is so bad, that it is good. I saw it twice in a theatre (I think there was a distributor's strike or something like that) hence this film had a long run. And I very nearly saw it a third time as well. 

The dialogue and screenplay writer Ranbir Pushp plays a cameo as a DD correspondent. The famous actor Anil Nagrath plays the British High Commissioner. His act is amazing. He sits with his legs splayed wide across on the sofa (like a Karol Bagh businessman) and talks with a fake English accent. It deserves a Lifetime Oscar. Then you have an eighteen-till-I-die Dev Anand, a moribund Ashok Kumar and an ageing but aggressive Dharmendra. And while the 'kutte mai.n teraa Khoon pee jaaoo.ngaa' or 'ek ek ko chun chu ke maaroo.ngaa' will always be more famous, this is an undiscovered Dharmendra gem. You have to see this film to understand what I mean. 

Back at the ranch, Dharmendra plays a commissioner of the police (Suryadev Singh) who wears fatigues most of the time and travels in helicopters and whose life's mission is to kill all jewel thiefs. He is also the personal security in charge of the Kohe-noor diamond. 

By the way, the negotiations for bringing the Kohe Noor for display in India are handled by a state's Chief Minister, the British High Commissioner and Vinay Kumar (a private collector who was once accused of being a jewel thief). And the commissioner of police  is appointed as security in charge. This film has many such gems. Sadashiv Amrapurkar plays Jukaso (an international jewel thief) who is convicted by the court. Now he has made an elaborate plan to escape. Listen to it. His men are waiting outside the court. He is being led out of the courtroom by the police and he is escorted by his lawyer. He feigns a stomach ache and asks to be taken to the bathroom. A reluctant inspector finally relents. He checks the bathroom into which Jukaso has to go. Then allows Jukaso to go in. Jukaso goes in. The inspector shuts the door (wonder why!). Suddenly the door opens and Jukaso pushes the inspector and runs. Such plans could be made by a 3 year old, but an international jewel thief! And there is not an iota of exaggeration in what I have written.

I get very emotional about this film, so pardon the long post. 

Getting back to the ranch again, Suryadev Singh is being accused by Vinay Kumar of having stolen the Kohe Noor. Vinay says that Suryadev is the son of the famous jewel thief Prince Arjun (Ashok Kumar) and...

"aur isne saabit kar diyaa hai ki he's also a jewel thief...a jewel thief!"
"और इसने साबित कर दिया है कि ही इज़ ऑल्सो अ जूल थीफ़...अ जूल थीफ़!"

And guess what the commissioner says to this unfair accusation. Yes you guessed it. 

"So you want to try me, hai.n?"
"सो यू वॉंट टु ट्रई मी, हैं?" 

It is accompanied by crashing of the right fist into the open left palm a couple of times in a minatory manner. 

Dharmendra also speaks English at other points in the film, and though those moments are also droll, this one is unparalleled. 

For example immediately after this line, Vinay Kumar taunts him saying that the son is a bigger jewel thief than the father and that he has stolen the Kohe Noor. As if on cue, Suryadev provides the English translation of the dialogue that made him famous.

"I'll kill you, I'll kill you bastard."

This scene comes around 1 hour 40 minutes into the film. You can watch the entire film or fast forward to this location. Worth it!

By the way, one of the criteria for my putting a dialogue on my blog is how often it can be used in real life. This is the one I have used the most number of times - to my boss, to my peers, to my competitors, to my parents. The 'hai.n' at the end saves me from any possible recriminations or repercussions. So next time someone challenges you, go ahead and tell them

"So you want to try me, hai.n?"

Do not forget to crash your right fist into your open left palm a couple of times while saying this. That is essential too. 

1 comment:

  1. you are right.....this film is a must watch because it is SO bad. it shd have been named "the return of the geriatrics"

    btw, it was hilarious the way the british commissioner spoke in hindi with an english accent!