Daulat ka peD …paap kee zameen meN hee ugataa hai

This is a line which I did not want to write, but eventually decided that it is part of a history that many in India don’t identify with. But it was so true at one point in time. I remember a post budget talk at Talkatora stadium years ago in Delhi. Probably the year was 1992. The late Manu Chhabria was asked if it was possible to make an honest million in India. Manu Chhabria paused for a moment and then said

No it isn’t.

A million is ten lac rupees. If I project that amount at an 8% rate to today’s value, we are talking of 35 lac rupees. Today, it is possible to make an absolutely honest million in India. That is how India has changed. But there was a generation which extends right upto half a generation before mine, which believed otherwise. An ode to the change heralded by Manmohan Singh.

Shaahanii seth (Amjad Khan) goes and instigates Kaaliaa (Amitabh)’s sister in law (Asha Parekh). He tells her that her brother in law is not as innocent as he seems. That his wealth is largely ill-gotten. In order to buttress his accusation, he says

Daulat ka peD jab bhee ugtaa hai paap kee zameen me hee ugtaa hai
दौलत का पेड़ जब भी उगता है पाप की ज़मीन में ही उगता है
Later Kaaliaa also repeats the same point to his sister in law. He adds

मेहनत से आदमी सिर्फ़ झोंपड़े ही बना सकता है भाभी ऐसे शानदार महल नहीं खड़े कर सकता

Well Mr. Bachchan, allow me to disagree once. Though if you are one of those who still believes it to be true, go ahead and use it to your heart’s content.

दौलत का पेड़...पाप की ज़मीन में ही उगता है

Hum jahaan khaDe hote hain line vaheeN se shuru hotee hai

Film : Kaalia
Year of release : 1981
Spoken by : Michael (Bob Christo)
Spoken to : A crippled prisoner (Ram Sethi)
Dialogue writer : Inder Raj Anand

This is a very famous “Amitabh” line from the 1981 movie Kaalia. But interestingly this line was never mouthed by him. It was actually said by the character called Michael (Bob Christo). Amitabh merely repeats the line as

हम भी वो हैं जो कभी किसी के पीछे नही खड़े होते. जहा खड़े हो जाते है लाइन वहीं से शुरु हो जाती है.
So technically, the line will have to be attributed to Bob Christo. Bob Christo was the standard fixture in all films which required a white villain. So much so that he became a stereotype. He was well-built and bald, and that accentuated his threat. In India, a deep voice and a good body were considered virtues for a ‘villain’ – till the new generation heroes like Salman and Sunil changed all that. This is a typical prison scene (which you would see in almost every second film), which is played out in this case in Central Jail Nasik. A crippled prisoner (Ram Sethi who sings the song ‘Kaun kisii ko baandh sakaa hai’) is standing in the queue for food. Just as he is about to take his food, his plate is snatched by Michael (Bob Christo). The crippled prisoner protests that Michael should stand in line. And what does Michael say. You guessed it right-

Hum jahaaN khaDe hote haiN line waheeN se shuroo hotee hai

Immediately after that all the other prisoners in the queue go and stand behind Michael. Of course the scene further develops into a fight and our hero – the big B – also comes into it and repeats the same line in his inimitable style. A similar line is part of Tamil film legend too. Rajnikant says in his 1999 superhit Padaiyappa – என் வழி  தனி வழி (En vazhi  tani vazhi) – which means something like 

हम भी दरया हैं हमें अपना हुनर मालूम है
जिस तरफ़ भी चल पडेंगे रास्ता हो जायेगा

So, whether you are charting your own course or jumping the queue, you could use this line. The latter option is fraught with the danger of receiving a spontaneous public beating.

Sar chhat ko chhoone lagaa hai aur aql ghuTano ke oopar nahee gayee

Kader Khan was another great writer and actor. If you want to learn voice modulation, there are few better people to emulate. The late 80s and early 90s were totally dominated by Kader Khan. Every second film would have dialogues by him or he would be the villain or the comedian. A truly versatile artist. The line featured here is from the 1981 film Kaalia. Starring Amitabh Bachchan ‘in and as’ Kaalia. Early on in the film, the dreaded don Kaalia is actually a simpleton – Kallu. He plays marbles with the neighbouring kids though he is well over twenty (well..close to 40 actually). One of his neighbours called Raamdeen (Mushtaq Khan) is blessed with a baby boy. Kallu goes around the town tom-tomming the news. He goes and enthusiastically communicates it to Narayan, another neighbour who has never been blessed with kids. Narayan gets irked and slaps Kallu. He also complains to Kallu’s elder brother Shaam (Kader Khan). When Shaam reaches home, Kallu is complaining to his sister-in-law Shanti (Asha Parekh) about Narayan. Shaam loses his cool and scolds Kallu with this line

सर छत को छूने लगा है और अक्ल घुटनो के ऊपर नही गयी

All of us know someone or the other, who is the befitting recipient of such a jibe. Kids, husbands, siblings, bosses. Oh sorry. Don’t use it for bosses. For other categories user discretion is recommended.