Calvin Clean bol ke khuraanaa kaa maal pehnaataa hai

This is a line from a recent Hindi film. The film did not have much to write home about. But this line made me jump out of my chair and laugh for three minutes. Not only did it make me laugh, it made me think. Bangkok may be the fake Rolex capital of the world, but India is not far behind in terms of fake brands. So this line has that layer that I look for in lines being featured here. Hence I thought it appropriate to share it with everyone.
The movie is One Two Three. A generally inane film – which does make you laugh every ten to fifteen minutes.

The story is about the confusion created by three men with the same name (Laxminarayan) who land up in the same hotel at the same time. One of them is a dealer in lingerie (Paresh Rawal), the second is a rookie contract killer (Tushar Kapoor) and the third is a hassled corporate executive (Suniel Shetty). All three come to the same hotel with different agendas and end up being mistaken for one another. Resulting in some hilarious scenes and some not so hilarious scenes.

In the climax, there is a lot of chaotic stuff happening. Pinto (Sanjay Mishra one of the henchmen of Mukesh Tiwari) takes the chaos one level further by taking off his clothes. When he is down to his semi-bermuda semi – naaDa chaDDee kind of underwear, Laxminarayan (Paresh Rawal) – who is an underwear seller – asks him

ये पहाड़गंज से ख़रीदा है ?
Yeh PahaaRganj se khareedaa hai?

And then with certainty says

ये खुराना का माल है.
Yeh Khurana ka maal hai.

Pinto asks him

आपको कैसे पता?
Aapko kaise pataa?

And Paresh says

ऐसा घटिया माल खुराना ही बेचता है
Aisaa ghaTiyaa maal Khurana hee bechtaa hai

Without any warning, Pinto starts bawling and crying and says

आप जानते हैं...कॅल्विन क्लीन क्लीन बोल के ना …खुराना का माल पहनाता है
Aap jaante hai…Calvin Clean Clean (that’s how he pronounces it) bol ke na…khurana ka maal pahanaataa hai

The contrite look that Mukesh Tiwari gives at this moment is very apt. The outrage of Pinto is also very credible.

So, if you have been sold something which is not what it was touted to be, use this line. Make sure you pronounce it as Calvin Clean.