I'll sue you all in American court

Film : 3 Idiots

Year of release : 2009

Spoken by :  Chatur Ramalingam (Omi Vaidya)

Spoken to : Farhan and Raju (Madhavan and Sharman)
Dialogue writer : Rajkumar Hirani and Abhijat Joshi

The climax of this all time classic - Farhan and Raju are looking for Rancho and when Chatur calls them, they think they have finally found him. But the search turns out to be longer. They are forced to go to Manali and finally to Ladakh. Chatur has an important meeting and refuses to go. Farhan and Raju gag him, tie him up and forcibly take him along. When they reach the home stretch (the beautiful raw beauty of Ladakh), they untie him. As the gag comes off, the first thing that Chatur says ;

"I'll sue you all in American court"

A great line which in one fell swoop trashes the Indian legal system (and rightly so) and communicates the options available with Chatur. Given the Indian legal system and its long pendency, it is an empty threat - if you say "I will sue you". Because the eventual victory (if at all) would by Pyrrhic at best. Now, thanks to this line, this threat suddenly gets potent. So next time, someone has dealt fraudulently or unfairly with you, use this new threat. 

You will be 'suee' I will be 'suar'

Film : Kambakkht Ishq

Year of release : 2009

Spoken by : KeswaNi (Javed Jaffrey)

Spoken to : Hot Dog Stall owner (Bill Marinella)

This is such a crap film that I can't even tell you. But I found this very interesting and funny line which I thought I should share. It is a great take on the lessor-lessee or mortgagor-mortgagee kind of terms that are used in financial sector. I have spent my entire life in the financial sector and I found this dig at these legal-financial terms very droll.

This film of course is a shameless copy of the 2002 Tamil superhit Pammal K Sambandham which had superb writing by Crazy Mohan and superb acting by Kamalahaasan. In the original there is a character of a person who is very fond of going to the consumer court for everything. This character is played by Madan Bob. A similar character is fleshed out in KI, with Javed Jaffrey doing the honours.

He goes to a hot dog stall owner and buys a hot dog for 2 dollars. Then he fishes out a needle (or suee) and claims that he found the needle inside the hotdog. He threatens to sue the hot dog stall owner. Using a delightful pun he says

"You will be 'suee' I will be 'suar'"

aam kitnaa bhi baRaa ho jaaye rahegaa Daal ke neeche

Film : Jugaad
Year of release : 2009
Spoken by : Commissioner I M Gupta (Govind Namdeo)
Spoken to : Murli (Vijay Raaz)

This is a film with a great premise and some very good actors. It was based on the 'sealing drive' in Delhi in 2007. The producer of this film was ostensibly one of those 'law-breakers' who were running a commercial enterprise from a residential area. In this film, he tries to show himself as a victim. That is the greatness of the Delhiite. He will break all the laws and will further try to prove himself as the aggrieved party if anyone tries to enforce the law. So the producer tries to tell us that this entire country is hopeless corrupt and that his act was an innocent gaffe compared to the transgressions happening elsewhere. But I will rant about Delhi and its lack of ethics later. Meanwhile back at the ranch,

Murli is Sandiip's friend and colleague. He tries to ensnare the municipal commissioner Gupta by taking snaps of the man in what the media classically calls 'compromising position'. But the commissioner is one up on him. When Gupta has foiled Murli's ploy, he comes up with this line

"aam kitnaa bhi baRaa ho jaaye rahegaa Daal ke neeche"

"आम कितना भी बड़ा हो जाये रहेगा डाल के नीचे"