sochaa! ab sochnaa bhii shuru kar diyaa

Film : Golmaal

Year of release : 1979

Spoken by : Bhawani Shankar (Utpal Dutt)

Spoken to : Kalindi (Shubha Khote)

Dialogue writer : Dr. Rahi Maasoom Raza

I believe they remade this film as Bol Bachchan. Thank goodness neither Hrishida nor Dr Raza is alive. The original of course was a classic with beautifully scripted and delivered lines. This was one of them. This is part of the extremely funny scene where both Bhawani and his sister Kalindi are looking for Lucky (Amol Palekar). Bhawani is armed with a gun and Kalindi has a stout staff in her hand. While they are going around the house looking for Lucky, Kalindi  hits Bhawani on the head with a stout stick thinking that he is Lucky. An angry Bhawani says 

"kalindi ki bachchi yahaa.n kyaa kar rahee hai?"

An embarrassed Kalindi stutters,

"bhaiyyaa maine socha..."

Bhawani interrupts her and shouts

"sochaa! ab sochnaa bhii shuru kar diyaa"

"सोचा! अब सोचना भी शुरु कर दिया"

National dress kaa mazaaq nahee.n uDaaoge to broad-minded kaise kahe jaaoge

Film : Golmaal
Year of release : 1979
Spoken by : Bhawani Shankar (Utpal Dutt)
Spoken to : RC - Guest at party (Unknown)
Dialogue writer : Dr. Rahi Maasoom Raza

This is the scene where Bhawani Shankar sees Ramprasad's fake mother at a party in stark contrast to her simple white sari avatar that he had seen. This makes him smell a rat and leads to many interesting situations. He is sitting sipping his drink with a couple of his friends and lamenting (as usual) the state of affairs. He is wearing a bandgalaa suit while his friends are wearing the typical English suits. Here is that exchange.

"aaj kal party hotii kahaa.n hai. party ke naam par fashion parade hotii hai..  fancy dress show hotaa hai."

"tum kisme.n aaye ho, fashion parade me.n, yaa fancy dress show me.n ?"

"haa.n haa.n national dress kaa mazaaq nahee.n uDaaoge to broad-minded kaise kahe jaaoge. "
"हाँ हाँ, नॅशनल ड्रेस का मज़ाक़ नहीं उडाओगे तो ब्रॉड माइंडिड कैसे कहे जाओगे."

RC jhenp jaao bhai, bhawaani ne jawaab to munh toD diyaa hai. 

Maine to kulhaaDee pe pair maaraa hai

Film : Golmaal
Year of release : 1979
Spoken by : Ramprasad Sharma (Amol Palekar)
Spoken to : Ratna (Manju Singh)
Dialogue writer : Dr. Rahi Masoom Raza

There is a saying in Hindi

खरबूज़ा छुरी पर गिरे या छुरी खरबूज़े पर

which means that whether the musk melon falls on the knife or the knife falls on the musk melon, the end result is one and the same. The knife is not harmed while the melon is cut open.

In this film, Ramprasad says

"लोग तो पैरों पर कुल्हाड़ी मारते हैं, मैने तो कुल्हाड़ी पर पैर मारा है"
"Log to pairon pe kulhaadi maarte hain main to kulhaaDi par pair maaraa hai"

At first glance, there seems to be no difference. But Ramprasad is referring to his act of having proffered to teach his boss's daughter as an act of Himalayan stupidity. Hence 'kulhaaDee par pair maaraa hai'. Because if you have to go and bang your legs against an axe, physically you will have to align your legs in a particular manner and hence it would be more difficult than hitting your legs with an axe.

Kaun kambakht kehtaa hai, ki Hitler mar gayaa

Film : Golmaal
Year of release : 1979
Spoken by : Ramprasad Sharma (Amol Palekar)
Spoken to : Doctor Mama (David)
Dialogue writer : Dr. Rahi Maasoom Raza


I am a huge fan of Hrishikesh Mukherjee and I believe that some of the best Hindi movies ever made (or will be made) would have his name under the director's column. I would have seen most of his 40 odd films starting from the 1957 Musaafir to the swan-turned-duckling song - Jhooth Bole Kauva Kaate. But there are some of his films, which have huge repeat value. Every time you see them, you enjoy them even more. Now, there are a lot of Hrishida film lines which would feature in this blog, but this is his debut here. So I need to try and do some justice to it.

While I have been rambling on about Hrishida, what I have not mentioned hitherto is that the film that this line belongs to, is Golmaal. This film was released in the year 1979 and turned out to be one of the biggest hits of the year. The plot is simple. A young man who is just out of college seeks employment with an extremely fastidious, finnicky and fussy man. This man - Bhawani Shankar (superbly played by Utpal Dutt) - has set views on most things. Unless you agree with him, you cannot co-exist. One of Bhawani Shankar's friends - Doctor Mama (played by David) - knows of his idiosyncrasies. Hence, he prepares his nephew - Ramprasad Sharma (Amol Palekar) - in an appropriate way before he can approach Bhawani Shankar for employment with Urmila Traders (Bhawani Shankar's firm). This includes teaching him how to dress, how to speak, what to say and what not to. This is the pre-story.

As Doctor Mama starts narrating Bhawani Shankar's likes and dislikes, Ramprasad becomes increasingly despondent. He realises that the candidate Bhawani Shankar is looking for is as different from him as chalk and cheese. But the last remark by Doctor Mama acts as the proverbial last straw. Doctor Mama says

"सर पर तेल भी अच्छी तरह से चुपड लेना"

This prompts Ramprasad to respond with the classic line:

"Mamaji Kaun kambakht kehtaa hai, ki Hitler mar gayaa"

"मामाजी, कौन कम्बख़्त कहता है, कि हिटलर मर गया"

All of us come across such extreme characters from time to time. People who brook no dissent. People who go to extreme lengths to ensure that their will is done. People who say "My way or highway". Whenever you meet or hear about such a person in future - try using this line.

कौन कम्बख़्त कह्ता है, कि हिटलर मर गया